I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

I hope you’re not all teaching your daughters that periods are shameful.

I agree, no need to advertise why you are going to the loo or even that you. Who needs to know?

If the Loos provided free sanpro the way they do loo roll, it wouldn't be an issue.

Tell your manager that you feel uncomfortable that people are watching you when you go to the toilet and watch them tie themselves in little he shaped knots 😁

@deedeemegadoodoo

Ridiculous! In my work toilets, we have a basket full of free sanitary products. Would you boss go for that instead?

Yep! My work have this too. It's such a great idea.

@TheKeatingFive

Millions of us, all hiding it. Why?

Because we've all been conditioned to pretend that women don't have periods. Time to stop playing along.

My point exactly.

Just as it would be weird to walk around with a loo roll.

The only reason that would be weird is because they're already in the loo, free for use for anyone who needs them. Unlike sanpro

It's attitudes that make a big deal of sanitary products that made me self conscious when buying them a decent way into my twenties. I would turn bright red. In school I'd check myself several times a day terrified at the thought of leaking and someone noticing.

I'd personally love to live in a world where it's not a big deal to carry sanitary products in the open, and you could mention needing a day off or making your manager aware you were feeling horrible due to your period and your workload might suffer without the possible embarrassed reactions.

My work started putting up awareness posters about symptoms those going through menopause suffer as people going through it were not being treated fairly or given any allowances when going through a bad time due to it.

I'd like to live in a world where people can be open and understanding and talk about 'intimate' issues like periods. So people not having a hissy fit when a clean sanitary product is seen would be something basic. YANBU.

So did she tell you off or did she suggest you use a bag. Two different things, both batty but different.

I might be over sensitive as a former HR manager who was often told I'd "told someone off" when I'd simply asked them a question. I got to the point where I questioned myself saying good morning to people in case they saw it as a telling off.

I wouldn't do it. I would prefer to be discrete and have no wish to anyone else to know I'm on my period but that's my preference.

I think your manager handled it wrong and should have asked them on what grounds did they wish to complain and what exactly offended them. Trying to put myself in your manager's shoes, I would have asked both men to send me an email outlining the basis for their objections. I suspect I would be a long time waiting for them to commit anything to print.

That said, there are certain hygiene products I would prefer to not see colleagues carry around in the office heading to the bathroom, i.e. cotton buds, a toe nail clippers etc.

I just think it's more professional not to have people know your having your period, or cleaning out your ears or clipping your nails etc.

That said, there isn't a hope in hell that I would complain if someone had a different preference to me and wouldn't object to what you did. Each to their own.

YANBU at all! My work place (when we worked from the office) you use to have the men coming over if they were on breaks/lunches asking if any women had spares for people in their team that were still on the phone so not on a break yet- I work in a call centre so majority are younger men that you think if any would be the more immature about it but maybe they realised being nice when it's a womens time of the month is the best way to be 😂. My team at the use to have 10 women and 2 men, we use to get treated like royality when they noticed us going in ours bags before going to the loo 😂 and no we never hid towel/tampons up our sleeves!

@Bunnyrun5

I don’t feel the same as majority it seems. I would never walk to loo holding sanitary wear. I feel that is a private part of me that I don’t need to let advertise to everyone, male or female. Some things are not for sharing in my view and that’s one of them.

But the men are the ones that drew attention to it.

But why would you care? Because everyone knows women have periods, don’t they? You can’t have it both ways

Both ways?

Seriously?

Why are you treating a complete non event where people should be busy working not inspecting hands like they are checking someone's dog hasn't stolen their burger. To openly changing said product whilst having their underwear around their ankles and in vulnerable position/enclosed space with a man potentially outside.

Yet more extreme bollocks where op may as well have changed her tampon on someone's desk whilst dancing naked yelling " I've git my pad guys" because there's no difference apparently

Carrying a handbag to the loo is more obvious than a discreet packed sanitary pad. What does your manager suggest you should do, stay home when you’re on a period?

Someone in the office is more interested in what you’re doing than getting on with their work.

I agree this is the only time for the company to supply sanitary protection FOC.

@VitalsStable

Send them a link to the new Always add.

That might confuse them as to which specific biological class has periods. Always is a bit confused these days.

@SparkleSpangle

While I think it is ridiculous anyone complained. There is something to be said for being discreet. Obviously you are going to have a period but do you need to let everyone know. Just put it in your pocket.

This. Not everything has to be some kind of statement.

Stop carrying it around in front of them.

Instead, announce "I'm just going to change my tampon".

I'm joking, obviously.

I’m assuming it was a neatly wrapped towel in pretty packaging and you didn’t flounce across the office waving a bumper pack of night time protection towels whilst announcing you were just off to change your sanpro….
This definitely rates a 10 on my fecking ridiculous scale , they need to get over themselves , probably the same sort of men that will happily say out loud whilst laughing that a woman “ must be on her period “ if she appears upset, moody etc
Sexual discrimination at its finest 🙄

I would never walk about carrying an ST like that. Mine are always discreetly in my bag. I cannot see the point of making a public display.

Meh. Yes, periods are perfectly normal and natural, but I prefer not to advertise my precise location in my menstrual cycle to my colleagues, and I suspect they feel the same way. I wouldn't complain about somebody carrying sanpro very visibly across the office, but I'd rather they didn't - just as I prefer my colleagues not to announce that they're going for a poo. Both of them are intimate bodily functions, IMO, and are best kept private.

HRTT - are you walking through the office swinging said article while whistling 'I Feel Pretty' ?

(There are other tunes I could suggest to whistle but I'll see how this one is received first...)

@SparkleSpangle

While I think it is ridiculous anyone complained. There is something to be said for being discreet. Obviously you are going to have a period but do you need to let everyone know. Just put it in your pocket.

I agree. Periods are natural and of course we shouldn't be ashamed but that doesn't mean that other people want to know we're on one. It's only good manners to be discreet, especially if there's men around and it makes them uncomfortable. We don't want to know about their prostates and hairy bollix and stuff, do we? So, we should show them a bit of consideration too. It works both ways!

I'd be going in on Monday wearing tampon earrings.

News for the folk who carry a special little bag or a washbag -everyone knows it has a sanitary towel in it. I have sanpro out in my bathroom and the room is used by male guests, and occasionally tradesmen. They've all coped fine. It's there so that any female guest who is caught short can help herself.
Is anyone actually embarrassed by periods these days, seriously ?

Not everything has to be some kind of statement.

C'mon now don't be ridiculous. She didn't March around with a placard and a loudspeaker. She carried something in her hand. 🙄

@TheKeatingFive

It’s not professional- bit like going to the bathroom to freshen up at work holding your toothbrush

I don't understand what is 'unprofessional' about having a period?

Exactly. What on earth could be "unprofessional" about having a period. Or going to the toilet for that matter.

Thank fuck my dd’s and their friends don’t have the same hang up as some you.

If someone asks at school for any tampons/pads they get a load thrown at them, in a supportive ‘here have one of mine’ way not mocking or teasing.