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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Asked to leave poolside during 3-yr olds swimming lesson

135 replies

vera16 · 10/03/2022 21:54

3-year old DS has been swimming in a pre level one swimming class for about 5 weeks. Parents have always sat on a little bench nearby and helped out kids as required. All very nice and DS really enjoys it. Tonight a pool attendant asked all parents to move to the balcony which is a 2-min walk away back through the building, I didn't feel happy. Sat on the balcony and waved at kids (who were then confused and spent rest of lesson looking for parents on balcony). I then had to watch helpless from balcony as my DS wondered off by himself in the water (no armbands) as the teacher had her back to him sorting out another child. Can't blame the teacher these are 3 yr olds after all. I just had to hope that someone would notice in good time if he slipped and went underwater as there was no way I could have helped him. AIBU to request to speak to the manager about this?

OP posts:

theremustonlybeone · 11/03/2022 09:38

We sit on a balcony and have to walk round to it. My DS slipped under once he was 4 but their was enough people around to prevent anythiing sinister. They grabbed him quickly, he had decided to let go of the side. Having parents so close is distracting for the DC. if you dont trust they can look after your DC properly during a swimming lesson then change club.

FilthyforFirth · 11/03/2022 09:41

Are you in a town in Hampshire by any chance? As the exact same thing happened to me last year. I took my child out of the class immediately...

Halllyup17 · 11/03/2022 10:10

I understand your concerns, but in reality almost all three year olds are at nursery and away from the watch of their parents. If there's a lifeguard and a teacher watching a small group, and the child can still see you when you're on the balcony, then I don't really think it's too much of a problem.

Delatron · 11/03/2022 10:21

But neither the teacher or the lifeguard was watching when the 3 year old wandered off? Shouldn’t the lifeguard be closer to the younger ones rather than in the middle of the pool? Or the teacher needs an assistant. Some of the stories on here are awful. I mean is it worth it really? At that age?

We waited until kids were about 4/5 then did a few private lessons then an intensive week over the summer. They are both now stronger swimmers than most in their classes who started younger. Unless you live in a hot country where they swim every day I do question the need for weekly paid swimming lessons at this age and how much they actually get out of it. You could just take them yourselves.

It doesn’t sound safe to me and I would remove my child.

ChocolateMassacre · 11/03/2022 10:51

I wouldn't be comfortable with this. It can take less than a minute for a child to drown.

Totally different from nursery in a safe, risk-assessed space.

The possible outcome is so catastrophic that imo you're justified in being as "anxious" and "overprotective" as you need to be.

It's only slightly less risky than 3yos being in a group with one teacher next to a busy road with fast-moving traffic. You'd expect total vigilance from nursery staff in that situation too.

Original poster

vera16 · 11/03/2022 10:55

I just found this guidance on the Swim England website. They acknowledge a lower ratio is required for teachers in the water.

www.swimming.org/swimengland/pre-school-framework-swimming-teachers/

Asked to leave poolside during 3-yr olds swimming lesson

OP posts:

Delatron · 11/03/2022 10:58

The teacher shouldn’t be turning her back on a 3 year old around water. That’s not safe and it doesn’t matter what the official ratios are if she can’t do her job properly.

reluctantbrit · 11/03/2022 11:28

@vera16 our group always had at least two teachers so if one teacher swam with two children, the other teacher looked after the rest of the group.

PineappleWilson · 11/03/2022 11:32

My 3 year old attends lessons but is in the pool with her dad. I can't imagine her being in the pool alone until she's school age. I don't think our pool run child-only lessons for this age group.

Original poster

vera16 · 11/03/2022 11:44

Reading the Swim England guidance has convinced me to start a dialogue with the manager and ask to see the risk assessments etc. I will report back.

OP posts:

HSHorror · 11/03/2022 11:53

I was asked to go to viewing area precovid when watching dp and dds swim. Dd2 was a runner and the pool sides high dd1 without arm bands they were maybe 3 and 6. I was not happy as i could get there a lot faster than dp and dd2 wasnt necessarily drowning etc.

Re swim lessons its fine to be in viewing area. Theres the lifeguard. My dd2 was doing stage 1 now over 6yo and disappeared - nipped to the loo, probably took me several min to notice (i was actually just other side of the pool) as dd1 was in another lesson and i was watching both. Dd2 goes underwater between lengths so i did think she could have drowned while instructor with one of the others, she can swim though obviously

HSHorror · 11/03/2022 11:56

Stage 1 which can be 4yo is about 10 kids here.
Bear in mind though yours is 3 there is likely many 4.5yo in there too

HSHorror · 11/03/2022 12:06

Dd2 did ducklings 1-4 and there were up to 6 in with the teacher. However obviously d1 was in the shallow end. And they probably only moved up once they could swim a bit. From oct-feb dd2 did ducklings and by the feb when lockdown hit she was after lockdown told to move to stage 2 so they move up very quckly (ended up redoing stage 1 as only restarted lessons this feb so 2yrs later but passed that in a week crash course.

So whether your dc can touch the bottom /how sensible they are would be a factor for me and if they are a good swimmer.
Also if you only have an unlevelled group there are likely constantly new non swimmers which would require teacher input/attention.
When my 9yo did a length and they didnt know if she could swim she was followed with the hook thing..
Although school had passed her as needing no more lessons...! The leisure centre think shes still only stage 3!

Mangogogogo · 11/03/2022 12:16

I’m quite laid back about stuff like this but when my boys were little they went to swimming and I started having concerns like you. Then I had to pull someone’s child out of the water after they’d gone under and only I had seen! Pulled both my boys out of lessons there and just did it myself. I cried for ages after

leafinthewind · 11/03/2022 12:51

@FilthyforFirth

Are you in a town in Hampshire by any chance? As the exact same thing happened to me last year. I took my child out of the class immediately...

Interesting! I'm in Hampshire. I posted upthread about my DD who slipped under un-noticed during a lesson in the deep end aged not-quite-5 and got fished out by her dad. It took him longer to recover than it did her, of course! She's now 13 and a strong swimmer. Fortunately, swimming pool drownings are incredibly rare, but one of the reasons for that is careful risk assessment/supervision.

leafinthewind · 11/03/2022 12:53

@Mangogogogo

Yep! Terrifying for the adults who understand the implications.

Darkstar4855 · 11/03/2022 13:28

I’m amazed by this thread. I go in the water with my 3yo and this is standard for preschool lessons locally. I wouldn’t dream of putting him in the pool alone at this age. We have a teacher and a lifeguard there for eight children who all have a parent with them. I thought that was normal at this age!

busyeatingbiscuits · 11/03/2022 14:28

@Darkstar4855

It's the same for Ducklings lessons here, maybe 6 three & four year olds, each with a parent/carer in the water, a teacher and a lifeguard and no other lessons in the pool. They don't go in unaccompanied before school age.

RedHelenB · 11/03/2022 14:58

All mine started swimming lessons aged 3, we had to leave after dropping them poolside. No one drowned and they all learned to swim. Dance classes were the same. If you think he's not old enough want another year or so and just keep talking him swimming yourself.

CottonSock · 11/03/2022 15:03

My dd started age 5 (her sister age 3.5) and level 1 had 2 teachers to 4 kids max.

Hellocatshome · 11/03/2022 15:08

There are all sorts of lessons and at 3 years old this could range from parent in the pool with the child to parents up in the balcony (as you have found out) if you dont like the kind of lesson he is in then move him to one you find more suitable.

lanthanum · 11/03/2022 15:13

We went to one swim school where parents did sit poolside, but nobody interfered - but then that would be because there was an instructor and a helper to at most 7 kids. The pool was also shallow enough for nobody to be out of their depth - which of course doesn't prevent drowning but does reduce the risks. The helpers were almost always teenagers - which presumably kept costs low, as well as giving them some work experience. If the lessons are out of school hours, this might be something to suggest.

Inevitably, the price of lessons is usually inversely related to the size of the class.

crosstalk · 11/03/2022 15:34

It depends on your own swimming ability and your childrens'. I taught my own DC in a local pool. I was a natural swimmer aged 3 and many children learn to swim first under water. Teach them to like water and how to float which are the key safety lessons. Make it fun. Very hard for parents who don't like water or swimming, but it's doable.

And then make sure they know about the difference between a pool and rivers and the sea.

pangolina · 11/03/2022 15:46

Sorry but you have misinterpreted this. Adult and Child refers to an adult and child pair (ie a parent and their child) participating in the lesson. The recommended ratio is 1 teacher to 12 adult and child pairs. The part you have quoted refers to if the teacher enters the water and then the ratio is 1 adult to two children.
For the setup in the OP is talking about, the ratio for non swimmers is recommended to be 6:1 but no higher than 12:1

Italiandreams · 11/03/2022 16:04

I wouldn't be comfortable with this at all but for that reason I have chosen a swimming lesson for my 3 year old that involves me being in the water.

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