Asked to leave poolside during 3-yr olds swimming lesson

[vera16]

3-year old DS has been swimming in a pre level one swimming class for about 5 weeks. Parents have always sat on a little bench nearby and helped out kids as required. All very nice and DS really enjoys it. Tonight a pool attendant asked all parents to move to the balcony which is a 2-min walk away back through the building, I didn't feel happy. Sat on the balcony and waved at kids (who were then confused and spent rest of lesson looking for parents on balcony). I then had to watch helpless from balcony as my DS wondered off by himself in the water (no armbands) as the teacher had her back to him sorting out another child. Can't blame the teacher these are 3 yr olds after all. I just had to hope that someone would notice in good time if he slipped and went underwater as there was no way I could have helped him. AIBU to request to speak to the manager about this?

I’ve never sat poolside during dc’s swimming lessons - always on a balcony or in viewing area.

So I wouldn’t complain about sitting away from poolside, but maybe about lack of supervision?

@Mallysmomma

It seems unnatural I know but it’s actually really needed. It’s a hard lesson but they need to learn that they have to save themselves and not always rely on us parents. Obviously keep a good eye and if they were ever to slip under and not be seen; I’m sure your scream would alert them very quickly. X

Just no.

Age 3s still have parents in the water with them during lessons at our pool, age 4 are then in classes with 3 to a teacher in the small pool. When they’re ASA level 4 they’re in the big pool with 6 to a teacher. I wouldn’t be happy with five 3 year olds to one teacher in a big pool.

I think not being poolside is ok, although I’d prefer to be closer. But the instructor turning their back on a 3 year old is unacceptable. Things happen so quickly. The ratios don’t sound safe, and I would be very concerned about one adult and five three year olds.

When parents aren’t in the water, it’s standard for parents to not be poolside.

Those poolside struggle to remain silent and not speaking (interfering) with the lesson. It’s really important that the teacher is the adult interacting and instructing the children and they aren’t getting 2 sets if instructions or mixed messages.

Consider whether schools would like parents sitting in on their classes and feeling they can wave to their kids or shout encouragement and why they wouldn’t find that conducive to learning.

Ratios and lifeguarding is a separate issue. Of course those should be correct and if they aren’t, raising it would be valid. However, parents being poolside is a different issue to this. When you start involving and paying for classes outside the home, you have to start to back off and let those people deliver what they are paid to do, without your interference. Children will find it easier to listen and follow the instructions of the teacher if you aren’t sending mixed messages that mummy is still in charge.

And if you have a question about ratios and safety,nurse it as a question not a complaint. Ask what the policy is regarding children per teacher and especially how they manage to keep an eye on all little ones.

Raising a question is much better and more conducive to a useful conversation. Obviously if their ratios don’t seem right you can question it, or if they aren’t sticking to their own policy. There will be national standards for these things and it would be surprising if a local pool has adjusted those,

I think it depends on the setting. The pool where my son has lessons, for instance, is in a private school and doesn't have a balcony. There is a bench down one side for parents. Due to Covid it's one parent for under 8's only - which is fine.

My ds in 10 (year 5) and in his group of 6 there are two instructors. So, for me, I don't think the issue is actually that you're on the balcony it's that there doesn't seem to be enough instructors. Particularly not for such little ones.

@PiesNotGuys

During covid I wasn’t allowed in the building but had to deliver my dc pool ready to the front door then wait sitting on the pavement outside the back door for the dc to be ejected, wet in their swimming costume and towel.

Well, technically parents were supposed to “wait in the car” and “change in the car” but that conveniently forgot about all the people without cars, sitting in the dark street by their back fire door, in the rain, and the dc going home in their wet swimming costume and hoodie towel, on foot or on the bus or both. Also conveniently forgetting about people with more than one DC, who not only have to wait outside with the first, still wet child whilst the second has their lesson, but cannot be at the front door delivering one child to their lesson and simultaneously at the back door collecting a wet child. Big building and a back entrance never designed to be used in an under-lit side alley. It’s no wonder I drank too much in the pandemic is it really.

I would nit have taken my dcs swimming in those conditions.

Parents need to be kept away as they're a distraction. You were probably moved for 'helping the kids'. How's a teacher supposed to teach with you all 'helping' from the sidelines.

Friend of mine had a father roar 'I'm coming darling!' and leap in fully clothed because she got a bit splashed. Helicopter parents are nuts.

I have a 3 and 4 year old and it's actually their ages that stop me from sending them to swimming lessons, I just think it's too young to be part of a class. One on one no problem, but I wouldn't be able to relax for fear of them getting into trouble.

@WombatChocolate

And if you have a question about ratios and safety,nurse it as a question not a complaint. Ask what the policy is regarding children per teacher and especially how they manage to keep an eye on all little ones.

Raising a question is much better and more conducive to a useful conversation. Obviously if their ratios don’t seem right you can question it, or if they aren’t sticking to their own policy. There will be national standards for these things and it would be surprising if a local pool has adjusted those,

Good advice thanks. I will do some polite digging.

We watched from a distance (no balcony but seating at the other end of the pool, no access to the pool itself) so that wouldn't be a concern for me.

But - I wouldn't be happy with the teacher. DD had a ration of 1 teacher for 3 pupils and teachers were in the water with them. They only started with a teacher on land when they could properly swim and even then they often had an assistant in the water as well.

The only time parents are poolside where I live is when in the water in baby/toddler classes. After that when in swimming lessons they are in the balcony.

There should be a proper ratio of children to instructors and lifeguards though.

@busyeatingbiscuits

Maybe do a parent and child session for another year and then try lessons again when he's 4-5 and you feel a bit more confident?

I think parent and child sessions are better for young children.

Where we take my three year old parents are not allowed. You leave the kid with the instructors and are off to do whatever. It is only allowed for under 3s. This is absolutely standard. She is fine.

@reluctantbrit

We watched from a distance (no balcony but seating at the other end of the pool, no access to the pool itself) so that wouldn't be a concern for me.

But - I wouldn't be happy with the teacher. DD had a ration of 1 teacher for 3 pupils and teachers were in the water with them. They only started with a teacher on land when they could properly swim and even then they often had an assistant in the water as well.

This is a good point re, land vs water actually. Our teacher IS in the water therefore turning back on the kids is unavoidable. If the teacher was on land they would have sight of the kids at all times. So actually the setup for 3 yr olds is maybe less safe than for the older kids.

Classes of that age that are without parents in the water but perhaps not likely to be good at listening it's usual to move the adult distractions (though near enough to escort to the toilet) but it is also usual to have two teachers to those classes as well as there being a pool life guard.

Ours is 1 teacher for 10 but then theres 2 TAs in the water working with small groups or 1-1 thats up to age 8, any class with under 8s in it has TAs in the water.

DD actually hates it as she says the TAs get in the way.

DD was nearly 5 and in a group with a ratio of 3:1 when her teacher turned her back. DD was at the deep end of the pool when she let go of the side and slipped under the water. Her dad came over from the side of the pool where he was sitting (perhaps 5m away) and fished her out. The teacher still had her back to the situation by the time he'd got her out of the water. We stopped lessons until she was 7 and more co-ordinated/likely to follow instructions. And that was in a situation when we WERE sitting at the side of the pool. I'm a former lifeguard too, and I have the same instinct as you - this is not safe enough.

When mine swam at this level at a pool that didn't have lifeguards, parents stayed poolside and there was an assistant in the pool. There were four children in the class.

When we moved to the local pool, same level, parents sat away for the pool (behind glass and a short walk through the leisure centre), but there was an instructor, assistant and a life guard on duty (6-8 kids). This pool was also shallow and children could touch the bottom.

At three, I would certainly be questioning the level of supervision, assuming there is no assistant or lifeguard.

Our pool does this too, my dd was older when she had swimming lessons but she has SEN’s, I was anxious about it so booked her a block of private lessons so she had 1:1. I think at the age of 3 I wouldn’t want them being taught in a group unless there was a couple extra adults in the pool.

We aren't allowed to sit pool side at my DS's swimming lessons, we have to sit in the viewing area, but there is 2 instructors in the pool woth them and a lifeguard watching. It's never really bothered me too much, I wouldn't want to sit poolside anyway as it is boiling in there.

The water just below chin-level on my tall 3 yr old. Not sure if that counts as 'shallow'.

The ASA/STA ratio for teaching in the water is 6 children to 1 teacher.
The reason pool operators don't want parents on poolside during lessons is, to be blunt, because they frequently decide they know best about how to teach, lifeguard, and how to operate lessons and distract the children. The instructor shouldn't have turned their back, no, but the ratio is within the limits and the session was lifeguarded.
In your position I would consider removing your child from lessons until they are a little older. 3 yr olds can't often take instruction too well and do 'wander off'.

@leafinthewind

DD was nearly 5 and in a group with a ratio of 3:1 when her teacher turned her back. DD was at the deep end of the pool when she let go of the side and slipped under the water. Her dad came over from the side of the pool where he was sitting (perhaps 5m away) and fished her out. The teacher still had her back to the situation by the time he'd got her out of the water. We stopped lessons until she was 7 and more co-ordinated/likely to follow instructions. And that was in a situation when we WERE sitting at the side of the pool. I'm a former lifeguard too, and I have the same instinct as you - this is not safe enough.

@leafinthewind My heart is in my mouth reading this. I am so glad she was OK.