Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to leave poolside during 3-yr olds swimming lesson

135 replies

vera16 · 10/03/2022 21:54

3-year old DS has been swimming in a pre level one swimming class for about 5 weeks. Parents have always sat on a little bench nearby and helped out kids as required. All very nice and DS really enjoys it. Tonight a pool attendant asked all parents to move to the balcony which is a 2-min walk away back through the building, I didn't feel happy. Sat on the balcony and waved at kids (who were then confused and spent rest of lesson looking for parents on balcony). I then had to watch helpless from balcony as my DS wondered off by himself in the water (no armbands) as the teacher had her back to him sorting out another child. Can't blame the teacher these are 3 yr olds after all. I just had to hope that someone would notice in good time if he slipped and went underwater as there was no way I could have helped him. AIBU to request to speak to the manager about this?

OP posts:
CasperGutman · 10/03/2022 23:05

It's not just about the ratio as such - I'd be happier with two adults to ten children than one to five. The key thing is there can be someone watching over the others while one focuses on developing a single swimmer.

Original poster
vera16 · 10/03/2022 23:06

@CasperGutman

That ratio wouldn't be acceptable to me for a three year old. My daughter is six, and her lessons have a teacher and an assistant for six pupils. The assistants main role is to keep an eye on the children while they're waiting for their turn so the teacher can focus on the child who's demonstrating a skill/practicing/whatever.
That sounds very sensible
OP posts:
ForcedOut123 · 10/03/2022 23:11

Standard. Happened to me, child’s waistband fell off 1st lesson and instructor’s back to her. She turned round but not until I’d nearly had a heart attack behind glass upstairs. We lived to tell tale. You’ve got to trust people. It’ll be ok.

Babadook76 · 10/03/2022 23:13

I’ve been to a few different pools with my 3 kids for lessons. No parents are allowed nearby to interact with their kids. The same with the dance and tumbling classes they attend. When a parents at hand, the child (especially the younger ones) will look to their parents rather than the coaches. They’re paying less attention, not listening or focusing on the coach. They’re far less independent as the second they’re even the slightest bit out of their comfort zone with trying something new, instead of listening to the coach and giving it a crack they’re whinging to their parents that they don’t want to do it. I think you’re being a bit OTT in thinking your child is going to immediately drown in fairly shallow water just because they’ve slipped when the coaches back is turned for a few seconds. If your child slips then surely he’ll just stand back up, even newborn babies have a diving reflex so he’ll hold his breath. If he does need help that’s what the lifeguard is for

Mariposista · 10/03/2022 23:14

The lifeguard thing is an issue, but seriously, parents at swim lessons - a disaster. Kid are waving at/watching their parents instead of listening, full on tantrums if they are having 'one of those days' where they want to cling to mum. No way.

Fizbosshoes · 10/03/2022 23:14

At the swim school my kids went to the had several teens in the water with kids, probably a ratio of 1:3 and parents sat at poolside, there was no balcony area.

Doveyouknow · 10/03/2022 23:38

I think it's fairly standard where parents are not in the water for a lesson (i.e. beyond toddler swimming lessons) that parents are expected to be in the viewing area. The ratio also sounds fairly average to me. In my experience most parents are glued to a phone during swimming lessons so would not be much use as extra lifeguards!

SalmonEile · 10/03/2022 23:44

At age 3 I wouldn’t Use lessons - bring him to the pool yourself and get him used to getting in and out , getting used to the water and how it feels , he’ll learn how to float and put his head under water by himself

Then you get him lessons and when he’s 5-7 and you’ll be less worried about him wandering off etc

Bananarama21 · 10/03/2022 23:45

I'm a swimming teacher , I teach ducklings aged 3-5. I have 8 in a class . I never turn my back. We have a 0.80m pool. I teach them to put their foot down and do alot of movement in the water before progressing to swimming. It's brilliant some of the stuff they end up doing independently. We also have a lifeguard. Parents are on poolside

Luredbyapomegranate · 10/03/2022 23:47

If you think they need more lifeguards or teachers then do raise that, and don’t take your kid back till the ratio is one you are happy with - but that’s a separate issue to parents on the side of the pool.

I used to teach as I said above and parents on the pool side are a distraction. You might be a lifeguard but most aren’t and the last thing you need is parents faffing around near the water - they are more likely to cause an accident than prevent it. Accidents apart, little kids have little attention spans and if their parents are there they will automatically interact with them rather than swim, so progress really slows down.

Poppetlove · 10/03/2022 23:49

Yes I have a pool at my house and the teacher tells me to go inside when she’s there, my son is 3 and not verbal…
It’s one to one though, if it was a large lesson where the teacher had multiple toddlers to attend to I probably wouldn’t leave or go out of sight.

MrsLegend · 11/03/2022 00:17

Maybe you should speak to someone there about ensuring that a lifeguard concentrates on the kids during the duration of their lesson.

maddening · 11/03/2022 00:24

At ours there was an assistant in the pool with the kids as well as the teacher and life guards

Hydrate · 11/03/2022 00:54

We had private lessons for ds2, as he developed a fear of water.

SpringRainbow · 11/03/2022 05:28

I had no idea there were pools where you could be pool side with the children?!

All pools around my way you are either on a balcony or in another room watching from a window.

Rosehugger · 11/03/2022 05:38

When DD2 had lessons at that age there were only two, maximum three with the instructor. Sounds like the ratio is all wrong and pretty irresponsible.

VitalsStable · 11/03/2022 05:44

You need to take over teaching him to swim rather than leaving it to people you don't trust.

PAFMO · 11/03/2022 06:01

When DD was 3 our town had an old pool with a big balcony around it and everyone sat upstairs on that. DD loved going underwater and I'd be trying to communicate telepathically to the teacher to make her stop. I think there were about 6-7 in the class, plus the lifeguard obviously.
Then a new pool opened with poolside benches and entire families would sit and watch and get up and ask the teacher this that and the other during the lessons.

If you're not happy with the group lesson (which will have been health & safetied and risk assessed to the maximum) then stop the lessons (which sound absolutely fine) rather than complain. You could also try telling your child not to "wander off" when the teacher is talking to someone else.

Marvellousmadness · 11/03/2022 06:01

That's normal where I live...

carefullycourageous · 11/03/2022 06:04

@Mallysmomma

It seems unnatural I know but it’s actually really needed. It’s a hard lesson but they need to learn that they have to save themselves and not always rely on us parents. Obviously keep a good eye and if they were ever to slip under and not be seen; I’m sure your scream would alert them very quickly. X
What at 3???

I can not disagree strongly enough with this.

PAFMO · 11/03/2022 06:04

www.sta.co.uk/news/2015/06/03/information-on-teaching-in-the-water/

Information about ratio of instructor to learners.

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/03/2022 06:06

My dd went to lessons in private pools. More expensive but the children were safe due to low ratios. Additionally the parent were just beside the pool.

You are lifeguard trained. You know this isn’t terribly safe. Trust your instincts. I would complain. My dc would not go back if management won’t back down. It is worth losing the few pounds you’ve paid for the lessons. Sunk costs.

HoppingPavlova · 11/03/2022 06:19

I’ve never used a swim school where parents were allowed to sit poolside at that age. My experience has been parents must be in the water for the 0-3 lessons but then they are independent. I asked one of my kids who was a swimming instructor (and lifeguard quals) while going through uni and they said the standard here is 5x 3yo for lessons with supervisor watching all lanes (had lessons in 8 concurrent lanes in their case but not all 3yo, a mix of age/ability over the 8 lanes). I’ve personally never seen a set up that has relied on parents to stop kids drowning and used several swim schools over my kids childhoods.

I am mystified at those who say why take a 3yo to lessons, don’t take them until they are 6-8yoShock. Here, by 6yo you swim proficiently and from there it’s a case of long lap swimming increasing stamina and speed, bettering technique and introducing additional strokes and perfecting those also, then squads for those who choose to go on but at that point the kids can swim a good kilometre, good technique, low effort, decent time. You need these skills to stop you from drowning if you get caught in rips etc so you can’t start at 6/8yo, you need to be a good way there by then.

rebekuh · 11/03/2022 06:30

Three seems young for lessons like that

londonrach · 11/03/2022 06:35

DD learning to swim and that's standard. Parents leave poolside. There should be lifeguard in charge. I take DD to poolside sit with her till teacher arrives then leave her. Every single parent does the same . Teacher can't teach if parents are there. Yabu

Swipe left for the next trending thread