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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be irritated at flirtatious women

172 replies

jemjens · 10/03/2022 10:05

It really is starting to get under my skin how many women flirt with DH when we're out walking the dog. Women will make eye contact with him rather than with me, ignoring me, when I speak they go back to him.

The other day we encountered a couple and DH said something funny and the woman was straight away all giggly and managed to somehow manoeuvre me out of the way so that I had to walk behind her while she walked adjacent to DH. It was like I was invisible to her.

DH is gregarious, that's one of his traits. But it's like these women are being starved of male attention in their lives and so immediately latch on to him the minute he engages conversation. Sometimes I feel like saying to them hello, I am here you know.

In the past (before we got the dog) he's told me about random conversations he's had with women in queues, in waiting rooms, etc., and that he said he thinks how bizarre the things they tell him that they must think of him as a sort of agony aunt. Now I'm actually seeing for myself IRL what he means, it's kind of grating on me.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 10/03/2022 14:02

@FKATondelayo

Like a PP says you don't really seem to know the difference between 'friendly' and 'flirting' - they are two different things.

Friendly: "Nice cockapoo!"
Flirting: "Nice cock!"

Friendly: "Am I allowed to give him a treat?"
Flirting: "Am I allowed to give you a blow job?"

Friendly: stroking dog
Flirting: stroking own nipples while maintaining continuous eye contact with owner

FFS that last one made me laugh and wake the baby up!
girlmom21 · 10/03/2022 14:03

@Sofiegiraffe

Am I the only person who is infinitely more interested in admiring the dog than the person walking it when passing a dog walker?! I honestly don't even think I look at the person's face. 😂
No you're not! In our area most people don't know each other's names but we all know the dogs.

If I refer to someone by their first name DP will ask me to clarify who they are by which dog is theirs Grin

CreamEggMcFlurry · 10/03/2022 14:09

I'm friendly to most people when out walking my dog. It seems to be a given round here everyone knows the dogs names but not the owners. Eg Buddy and his dad.
There is one couple where the man and is spaniels are very friendly but his wife does look a bit hostile. I hope she doesn't think I'm flirting, id be mortified .

mnetting · 10/03/2022 14:20

I'm very intrigued now! what are these unapproachable vibes woman can give off? Just want to make sure I'm not doing this unintentionally!

Thatsplentyjack · 10/03/2022 14:21

@FKATondelayo

Like a PP says you don't really seem to know the difference between 'friendly' and 'flirting' - they are two different things.

Friendly: "Nice cockapoo!"
Flirting: "Nice cock!"

Friendly: "Am I allowed to give him a treat?"
Flirting: "Am I allowed to give you a blow job?"

Friendly: stroking dog
Flirting: stroking own nipples while maintaining continuous eye contact with owner

Eh, I've never flirted with anyone like that Hmm
Thatsplentyjack · 10/03/2022 14:25

@mnetting

I'm very intrigued now! what are these unapproachable vibes woman can give off? Just want to make sure I'm not doing this unintentionally!
It's when you don't walk around with a smile plastered on your face and a permanent cheery attitude. All women are supposed to be like this at all times.
TheChronicalTales · 10/03/2022 15:10

the woman was straight away all giggly and managed to somehow manoeuvre me out of the way so that I had to walk behind her while she walked adjacent to DH. It was like I was invisible to her.

And what did you husband do? Surely he turned around to wait for you to catch up before strolling ahead with a stranger?

KimCheese · 10/03/2022 15:10

@FKATondelayo

Like a PP says you don't really seem to know the difference between 'friendly' and 'flirting' - they are two different things.

Friendly: "Nice cockapoo!"
Flirting: "Nice cock!"

Friendly: "Am I allowed to give him a treat?"
Flirting: "Am I allowed to give you a blow job?"

Friendly: stroking dog
Flirting: stroking own nipples while maintaining continuous eye contact with owner

Ooh that's made me laugh out loud.

Or giggle flirtatious, you decide.

Dumblebum · 10/03/2022 15:28

Op what’s the age difference that people wouldn’t assume you are a couple?

I mean this gently but do you suffer from insecurity or jealousy? As in if any woman you perceive to be attractive talks To him does it upset you?

It’s highly unlikely this man is so appealing that women can’t stop themselves, even when their partner is there and it’s happening constantly. Which indicates to me they are just chatting?

Dumblebum · 10/03/2022 15:29

The thing is the woman who manoeuvred you out the way, she was with her husband, so were you walking with him?

longwayoff · 10/03/2022 15:30

Oh thank God for MN in a grim week. I've laughed so much at this thread that my 🐕 is now eyeing me and whining at me. Nothing for it but to take him for a walk. I'll take care to keep myself to myself. Just in case.

5128gap · 10/03/2022 15:31

@mnetting

I'm very intrigued now! what are these unapproachable vibes woman can give off? Just want to make sure I'm not doing this unintentionally!
The OP perceives other women negatively, as a threat to her husband. When one approaches it is possible this means she doesn't give off friendly or even neutral signals. Most people (well most women anyway!) can recognise the signals that another person doesn't wish to engage with us from extent of eye contact, facial expression and so on.
MichelleScarn · 10/03/2022 15:33

@longwayoff

Oh thank God for MN in a grim week. I've laughed so much at this thread that my 🐕 is now eyeing me and whining at me. Nothing for it but to take him for a walk. I'll take care to keep myself to myself. Just in case.
Make sure you wear sackcloth and a bag over your head so that those giggly feminine wiles of yours aren't out there corrupting poor defenceless husbands!
Hopefullyoneday12 · 10/03/2022 15:37

People prefer to speak to my DH too. Men and women. He is tall, charismatic, handsome and engaging. I'm a miserable cow so I'm not surprised I'm sidelined.

Snog · 10/03/2022 15:47

I'm not sure why this is an issue if as you say DH is being pleasant to other people and not flirting with them.

HippoRaine · 10/03/2022 17:14

Dammit, just read this after taking my dog for a long run round Cannock Chase. I didn't even commandeer a single husband, I'm obviously doing it all wrong. My dog is pretty happy though (and muddy, so muddy)

dumdumduuuummmmm · 10/03/2022 17:17

You'd be better being annoyed at your flirtatious husband

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 10/03/2022 17:27

This is exactly why the minute I got a man I became a cat person.

Cats repel women with their rudeness, dogs (and ops husband) bound up to women and start humping their legs.

Maybe take a spray bottle full of water with you next time op, or put your husband on a lead.

bungaloid · 10/03/2022 17:42

Is this why it's called dogging? Everyone with dogs is out there trying to hump each other? Strange society we live in.

pinkyredrose · 10/03/2022 17:43

What does your husband look like OP, who would play him in a film?

SailingNotSurfing · 10/03/2022 19:03

@roundtable

On the next episode of Sexiest Dog Walker...

Gail and Sue compete for Most Voluptuous Bottom while picking up dog shit...

Dave and Stuart go head to head at one armed pull-ups from a tree branch whilst hanging a doggy bag as high up as possible...

Tony and Kevin lose their shirts while swimming in a stagnant pond with their beloved pooches...

Deidre and Carole have a blazing row over who looks most like their dog...

Who will you vote as Britain's Sexiest Dog Walker?

You absolutely have to pitch this format to Channel 5, they'll need something new when they get shot of Neighbours. I'd watch it. Heck, I'd even apply to be a contestant, I have a very cute Yorkie and a shapely arse
Doratheexploret · 10/03/2022 19:10

Weird. We walk our dogs every day and no one has ever flirted with my husband! Or maybe people do and I just don’t notice or care ! 🤷🏼‍♀️

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