To be irritated at flirtatious women

[jemjens]

It really is starting to get under my skin how many women flirt with DH when we're out walking the dog. Women will make eye contact with him rather than with me, ignoring me, when I speak they go back to him.

The other day we encountered a couple and DH said something funny and the woman was straight away all giggly and managed to somehow manoeuvre me out of the way so that I had to walk behind her while she walked adjacent to DH. It was like I was invisible to her.

DH is gregarious, that's one of his traits. But it's like these women are being starved of male attention in their lives and so immediately latch on to him the minute he engages conversation. Sometimes I feel like saying to them hello, I am here you know.

In the past (before we got the dog) he's told me about random conversations he's had with women in queues, in waiting rooms, etc., and that he said he thinks how bizarre the things they tell him that they must think of him as a sort of agony aunt. Now I'm actually seeing for myself IRL what he means, it's kind of grating on me.

I'm sorry, but this is pretty funny.

I think some of the replies are very unkind and, dare I say, bad faith. There definitely ARE men who attract women wherever they go, and there definitely are men and women who seem to accidentally give people the impression they are flirting when they're just being friendly.

But tbh, if your husband isn't acting on it, where's the problem? A PP said you feel foolish, but I see it the other way. I think all the women fawning over your husband, who isn't the slightest bit interested in them, are the ones making themselves look foolish. If you rise above it, roll your eyes, and let them have their fantasy for 5 minutes, you'll maintain your dignity and they will look silly.

@Hippolyte

Do you think you might be a bit paranoid. Surely not every dog walking woman is after your husband, albeit that I'm sure he's lovely!

❤️

This has happened to me plenty but I don't just stand there silently like a lemon and then walk behind them like a naughty child. I get involved in the conversation on an equal level? Or my husband gets the hint and ends the conversation and we move on.

The responsibility is on your husband here. Tell him he must wear a paper bag over his head every time he leaves the house from now on.

You may cut him some eye holes in a few months if he shows he can behave himself.

I usually only make eye contact with the person actually holding the leash as I pass by quickly, so there's not time to distribute eye contact to everyone, and the person with the dog is of greater interest to me that the person without a dog.

I'm not flirting, I just want to pet dogs

Honestly, it sounds like a 'you' and 'in your head thing'.

Women generally don't go around hitting on taken men (maybe 1% do but it's pretty rare in general), especially with their wife/girlfriend there and no man is so irresistible woman just regularly have to hit on them.

If there is a general person always talking to him not your issue it's probably a result of something like unwelcoming vibe/attitude/body language/tone you give off but that doesn't equal 'flirting' with him it equals them 'not liking' you and is still a 'you' problem to work on.

Just reading your post though gave me vibes that you don't like other women that you feel it's you vs them, that's probably what they pick up on.

We are not each other's competition.

People tend to gravitate towards my partner too who is very sociable and fun. I don't really mind as I'm a very unsociable sod and mostly would rather not chit chat. I also trust him implicitly.

He's married to you because it's you he loves. Simples.

Ahem. OPs DH is the sexiest dog walker ever? I think the fuck not, people.

@steff13

Maybe these are gregarious women.

Funny how flirtatious men are simply gregarious and women are flirty hussys.

Sounds like your dh is just more approachable and chatty than you are, maybe if you joined in with the conversation you wouldn’t feel like you do? I can be a bit shy and when I’m walking with friends I’m usually the less chatty one when people try and strike up a conversation, but when I’m waking in my own I talk to everyone 🤣. Pretty sure it’s not flirting, who flirts with a stranger whilst walking the dog?

This thread is weird as fuck.

"Most handsome man ever" when talking about an adult son.
"Really good looking man" when talking about your DAD?
Page after page of "my husband is gorgeous".

Who gives a fuck?!

As others have said maybe they’re gregarious women.

Seriously though some people are just more approachable.

This happens sometimes. My most noticeable 'have I left the room without noticing?' moment happened to me when I took my daughter with me to the consultation with the surgeon who was going to remove a tumour from my breast. I wanted to make sure I didnt miss something significant as it was a bit stressful. I needn't have worried. He couldn't take his eyes off her and every question about me was addressed to her. Lost count of the times she pointedly said 'I don't know, you need to ask my mum'. Even the nurse was embarrassed and blushing. I'm not usually a shrinking violet but he was the man who would be wielding the scalpel so I kept my thoughts to myself. We had a mutual fit of the giggles on leaving.

@apple93
What nasty people, and what a lovely husband you have.

If your DH is smiling and outgoing, and you're standing beside him drawing daggers at any woman in his vicinity, it's not that surprising that people engage him in conversation rather than you.
It's the opposite way round with DH and I. I chat to everyone. DH exudes 'don't talk to me' energy a lot of the time.
But I did laugh at your title and your OP. I fully expected this to be from an incel complaining women flirt with everyone except them!

I must use the word 'gregarious' more

How chatty and friendly are you? If on person in a couple is outgoing and the other one is more taciturn, people will naturally speak to the more interactive one. My husband doesn't really do small talk, so in a social situation people will talk to me rather than him. Even friends/colleagues of his who I haven't met before, he tends to introduce me then 'hand over' as it were.

This is such an odd thread 😂 So much more likely that you're paranoid than it is that loads of women are throwing themselves at an obviously married man who is out walking his dog with his wife??! People are friendly to people who are friendly, maybe you're busy eyeballing these women in a hostile manner so they feel awkward and try and pretend they haven't noticed?? 😂

Go on OP post up a picture we know your dying to, let us judge.

Funny how flirtatious men are simply gregarious and women are flirty hussys.

Exactly. I'm a gregarious person; I smile at everyone I pass, man, woman, child, or dog. People, especially children, tend to interact with me, I think because I appear friendly. I'm certainly not flirting with any of them, and if they think that, I think it's on them.

they must think of him as some sort of agony aunt

To be fair, this happens to me a lot and it most definitely isn’t because they all fancy me!!!

I do find it baffling, but just come to realise there must be something in my manner that makes people feel able to share their woes or offer deeper conversation. Many of the women what partners who were more stoic, “blokey bloke” types or preferred not to discuss emotions - but that’s the thing, those “types” were what they found attractive, so them seeking my attention was in no way a signal they found me attractive - quite the opposite! I suppose I filled a more platonic need.

When I was a lot younger, I did mistake this kind of attention for flirtation but was quickly set straight. That said, if I looked like Jason Mamoa it might be a different matter entirely

OP's husband is choosing to engage with other women in a flirtatious manner.

Actually, I think you'll find that HE isn't flirtatious, he's simply "gregarious." It's those brazen women who are the problem here.

many of the women have* partners

There definitely ARE men who attract women wherever they go, and there definitely are men and women who seem to accidentally give people the impression they are flirting when they're just being friendly.

There are, but they're pretty rare, and I would say very much outnumbered by the women who think their 'DH' is the hottest thing ever.

I don't think I've ever seen a man so outrageously gorgeous that I just can't resist 'flirting' with him while he's out walking the dog with his wife. Maybe such men do exist, but they're few and far between.