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AIBU?

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Original poster

Spoilt the surprise

139 replies

baytreelane · 08/03/2022 23:07

It was my birthday last week and I had hinted for an expensive treatment. I received an email from said salon to say I have an appointment, immediately followed by another to thank me for my visit. It turns out when DH purchased the voucher they asked if the recipient had been to the spa before, and he gave my name.

I acted surprised when I got the voucher but I felt like it was a ruined surprise due to the emails in the days leading up.

I have emailed to book the treatment today and explained I was disappointed that they alert the recipient of a gift voucher and that it was a birthday present of mine. They sent some dates of availability and completely ignored my comments. I now feel slightly annoyed that they haven't even acknowledged it, let alone apologised. I totally get it could be human error and I would be fine with that but I now feel like I don't want to visit there now but I have this voucher!

Am I being unreasonable here? I'm not one to complain; it wasn't even a compliant. I simply wanted to let them know it's not ideal for anyone receiving a voucher.

OP posts:
LottyD32 · 08/03/2022 23:24

Yabu. Do it in person when you go.

KrisAkabusi · 08/03/2022 23:33

You're being unreasonable. It's not that big a deal. You asked for a particular present and you got what you wanted. Be grateful.

dfendyr · 08/03/2022 23:42

How are they to know

Dh should have given his own email

drawingpad · 08/03/2022 23:43

I acted surprised when I got the voucher

Why did you do that? Lie to your DH rather then tell him what happened?

MrsEricBana · 08/03/2022 23:46

Just a miscommunication, hardly matters since it wasn't a surprise anyway.

Goneblank38 · 08/03/2022 23:49

Yabu. Your husband arranged the present you wanted. You should just enjoy it and move on.

Readytopop2022x · 08/03/2022 23:50

It's not that deep OP. Accept the lovely gift, enjoy the treatment and let it go!

sweeneytoddsrazor · 08/03/2022 23:52

How can they ruin the surprise when you had asked for the present?

ouch321 · 08/03/2022 23:52

Well presumably your husband gave them your email so if you want to complain, complain at him.

But you sound a tad childish saying you don't want to go now.

WorraLiberty · 08/03/2022 23:54

I acted surprised when I got the voucher but I felt like it was a ruined surprise due to the emails in the days leading up.

That makes no sense. How could it be a ruined surprise when you had to act surprised because you weren't actually surprised, due to basically asking for it in the first place?

They should've acknowledged your comments though, as it could've ruined an actual surprise for someone else.

Blimey, I feel like I've Cilla Black with the amount of times I've said 'Surprise' in this post Blush

WorraLiberty · 08/03/2022 23:56

@ouch321

Well presumably your husband gave them your email so if you want to complain, complain at him.

But you sound a tad childish saying you don't want to go now.

I think the OP's saying because she'd been there before, he gave her name and they looked up her email which was already on their system....then they contacted her.
HeddaGarbled · 08/03/2022 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

MintLampShade · 08/03/2022 23:59

You hinted so surely you were expecting it anyway and it wouldn't have been a massive surprise.
It's not ideal that you received the email in advance but I just can't see how it's a big deal?

Chilesstanton · 08/03/2022 23:59

Couldn’t get upset about this. Get a grip.

GayParis · 09/03/2022 00:00

This has to be a wind up.

You hinted for a gift... you got said gift... and you're somehow annoyed it wasn't a super well kept secret that you had infant been given the gift you hinted for...

How old are you?! Confused

CowsAreNotGreen · 09/03/2022 00:05

You don't want to go now?! How ridiculous.

fourandnomore · 09/03/2022 00:06

I understand - your husband could easily have just said yes she’s been but it’s a surprise so send them voucher to my email and I’ll print it out for her. I’d feel the same because most of what I hint at is exactly that, just an idea. It’s nice to have surprises. They should have acknowledged your comment just as a courtesy but I don’t actually think this is their fault, just a miscommunication.

SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 09/03/2022 00:08

I'm not one to complain

I think you kind of are.

FantasticFebruary · 09/03/2022 00:11

YANBU - it was a Birthday Gift, complete with a voucher. No way should they have emailed the recipient! & spoilt the surprise.

Popsicle33 · 09/03/2022 00:12

You sound incredibly childish and brattish. You should be lucky to have got the gift you wanted. Many people would love to have this to look forward to. I can imagine you're very hard work.

Makewomenfemaleagain · 09/03/2022 00:14

Are you 5?

StoppinBy · 09/03/2022 00:14

I don't think they should have sent you an email either and I think you are right to mention it. I would also be slightly annoyed that they just ignored that part of your email..... not enough to stop me wanting to go though.

I also understand why you pretended to be surprised.... no need to spoil your husband's fun by telling him what happened.

Just mention it again when you go in so that maybe they can make it a part of the system in future to ask customers before they email teh vouchers/confirmation through.

givemeallthecheese · 09/03/2022 00:26

Bloody hell there's a bit of a pile on here!

I think it's worth raising with the spa when you go.
I don't think you're childish or bratty to expect a (presumably) expensive salon to have a better system

sarahtalkstoomuch · 09/03/2022 00:33

About 10 years ago, my parents sent me some flowers from M&S to celebrate me doing the London marathon and for reasons unknown, gave my email address, so I got the order confirmation and saw the gift message before I’d even run the race. Anyway, I didn’t ever tell them and was just pleased to get the flowers

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/03/2022 00:36

Did your DH tell them clearly that:
A. It was a surprise rather than just a kind treat he'd offered to book for you;
B. When your birthday was;
C. That you weren't wanting to know about it until after your birthday;
D. That the build-up wasn't part of the whole surprise, so that receiving the email wasn't the point at which you would be surprised and then start getting excited, right up until the day itself?

If it's a beauty/spa-type experience, it's probably quite rare for a male partner to take much interest or to accurately convey back what has been booked for you. They probably get a lot of DHs & BFs who go in with a piece of paper that they've been given, hand it over and say "I want to book this, please", pay for it and then consider that that's their part done. The fact that they've been given a clear name/description by their DW/DGF suggests that the recipient probably already knows about it anyway.... which you kind of did.

Ultimately, just about anything bought from a shop or business could be a surprise present for somebody and it's entirely up to the giver to keep the surprise. When they asked "Has she been here before?" and then typed your details into their computer, surely that's when anybody would say "Ah, but it's a big surprise, so please make sure you send all correspondence to me and not to her" ?

If it were something seedy from a sex shop, their default might be to ask if you want it in a big opaque brown bag; but something as un-embarrassing as a spa day, box of chocolates, flowers or whatever - it's incumbent on the one intending to make and keep the surprise.

Imagine how long it would take if every shop assumed that every purchase might be a present and took ages presenting it in a Love Actually 'tis but the work of a moment' fashion Grin