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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spoilt the surprise

139 replies

baytreelane · 08/03/2022 23:07

It was my birthday last week and I had hinted for an expensive treatment. I received an email from said salon to say I have an appointment, immediately followed by another to thank me for my visit. It turns out when DH purchased the voucher they asked if the recipient had been to the spa before, and he gave my name.

I acted surprised when I got the voucher but I felt like it was a ruined surprise due to the emails in the days leading up.

I have emailed to book the treatment today and explained I was disappointed that they alert the recipient of a gift voucher and that it was a birthday present of mine. They sent some dates of availability and completely ignored my comments. I now feel slightly annoyed that they haven't even acknowledged it, let alone apologised. I totally get it could be human error and I would be fine with that but I now feel like I don't want to visit there now but I have this voucher!

Am I being unreasonable here? I'm not one to complain; it wasn't even a compliant. I simply wanted to let them know it's not ideal for anyone receiving a voucher.

OP posts:
Theresamagicalplace · 09/03/2022 08:36

YABU for asking this on Mumsnet where you're treated as sub human for wanting more than a twix for your birthday if you're over the age of 5. But YANBU for being disappointed that the salon contacted you when your husband bought the voucher. It's bad practice and having worked in a salon it's not unusual at all for vouchers to be bought as surprises so they definitely should have checked.

SirYawnsAlot · 09/03/2022 08:37

And just to make sure you really enjoy your Birthday, here's a barrage of sniping....
When your DH booked they knew it was a gift, so should have informed him generic e-mails get sent out to the recipient and to give a different address.
Raise it with the spa or write a review, so they can clarify with clients and so others are aware.
Hope you enjoyed your Birthday.CakeFlowers

CafeNervosa · 09/03/2022 08:37

@HeddaGarbled jeez, calm down Hedda.

YANBU If I understand your post, you are appreciative of the gift but annoyed that they didn’t acknowledge a minor complaint which I would think of as a common courtesy… I think it’s bad customer service, and suggests a lack of really caring or providing personal service. That would annoy me too. Maybe I’m irrational too!

godmum56 · 09/03/2022 08:42

@WorraLiberty

I acted surprised when I got the voucher but I felt like it was a ruined surprise due to the emails in the days leading up.

That makes no sense. How could it be a ruined surprise when you had to act surprised because you weren't actually surprised, due to basically asking for it in the first place?

They should've acknowledged your comments though, as it could've ruined an actual surprise for someone else.

Blimey, I feel like I've Cilla Black with the amount of times I've said 'Surprise' in this post Blush

well done for not getting confused chuck!

and yes why hint for a gift and then have to pretend its a surprise?

godmum56 · 09/03/2022 08:43

@stuntbubbles

I would sue for emotional distress.
and go in the Daily Mail with a sadface
Legoisthebest · 09/03/2022 08:48

Why did you need to 'hint' for a gift for your birthday. If there is something you really want why didn't you just say "I would really like X as my birthday treat please".
There's no need to 'hint'.

Flippy87 · 09/03/2022 08:50

Yabu

BlackSwan · 09/03/2022 08:52

A lesson in graciousness.

You failed.

Fairislefandango · 09/03/2022 09:04

Pretty ridiculous to feel the need to be surprised by a gift you'd asked for. If your dp knew how important surprises are to you, he should have made sure to tell them to email him the stuff, not you. If he didn't realise, then he wasn't being unreasonable.

I'm not at all one of the alleged MNers who think you're unreasonable to 'want more than a Twix for your birthday if you're over 5 years old', but I do think that being upset over not having a surprise is a bit daft when you're a fully-grown adult (and asked for that gift!)

gingerbiscuits · 09/03/2022 09:07

Seriously?? Especially with what's going on in the world at the minute?? Get over yourself.

FlamingoQueen · 09/03/2022 09:08

I think it’s worth saying to the salon that if anyone books a treat as a gift, then they should ensure they take the purchasers details and not the recipients details to avoid anyone else being disappointed.

girlmom21 · 09/03/2022 09:12

@FlamingoQueen

I think it’s worth saying to the salon that if anyone books a treat as a gift, then they should ensure they take the purchasers details and not the recipients details to avoid anyone else being disappointed.
If I buy someone a voucher as a gift I want the voucher to go to them, not me. When they book, they need the booking confirmation.

All I want is a receipt

oakleaffy · 09/03/2022 09:19

@sarahtalkstoomuch

About 10 years ago, my parents sent me some flowers from M&S to celebrate me doing the London marathon and for reasons unknown, gave my email address, so I got the order confirmation and saw the gift message before I’d even run the race. Anyway, I didn’t ever tell them and was just pleased to get the flowers
That was very diplomatic :) How funny that your parents ordered it beforehand- They must have had great faith in your athletic abilities. Well done for completing it. Dad years ago had to photograph an EastEnders cast member who had completed it, and the young woman could barely move for knee pain.
Booklover3 · 09/03/2022 09:19

I think it’s bad customer service that they ignored what you said. They should’ve addressed it.

Quitelikeit · 09/03/2022 09:21

I think this is quite poor of the business tbh. I certainly wouldn’t return!

RobotValkyrie · 09/03/2022 09:23

YABU for

  1. placing so much importance on a birthday gift being a "surprise" (especially when it wasn't a surprise anyway, since it's the gift you asked for. Or maybe it was a surprise after all, since you were surprised to get the email? Make your mind up!)
  2. assuming everybody else would care the way you do...

You come across as spoilt and impossible to please, quite frankly.

SweetNcrunchy · 09/03/2022 09:27

How very princessy of you! Did you stamp your foot and wave your fist too? 😂

Honeyroar · 09/03/2022 09:28

The point is the shop didn’t know that she’d asked for that voucher and so they could have spoiled a genuine surprise. Plus they weren’t remotely interested when she pointed it out to them. The shop sounds inefficient. I’d use the voucher but not use them in the future, especially for surprises!

Bunce1 · 09/03/2022 09:29

Speak to them.

It’s an automated system I would have thought. I think your DH at fault for not stipulating it was a surprise.

shssandhr · 09/03/2022 09:37

What's with this pile on?

Yeah, the OP had "hinted" that she wanted this gift and her DH had bought it for her so it wasn't really a surprise in this case. But someone else might receive a gift voucher as a complete surprise for their birthday or Christmas and they suddenly get emails from the salon a week before their birthday about it and it really would spoil it for them.

I think it was fair enough of the OP to mention it in the email - not a complaint as such, just pointing it out. I think it is poor customer service just to completely ignore what she wrote. At least acknowledge it in some way. She wasn't asking for money back or something.
OP, I'd mention it again when you go in - pointing out that you sort of knew you'd be getting it anyway but that for others it would be a shame if they found out about it before their birthday.

Rosehugger · 09/03/2022 09:38

I would just mention it when I go. They would probably like to know about this sort of thing and could use an alternative email when it's a gift.

ErniesGhostlyGoldtops · 09/03/2022 09:43

@GayParis

This has to be a wind up.

You hinted for a gift... you got said gift... and you're somehow annoyed it wasn't a super well kept secret that you had infant been given the gift you hinted for...

How old are you?! Confused

This. Holy shit if that was all I had to worry about I would run to the war memorial naked ten times in the rush hour!
ErniesGhostlyGoldtops · 09/03/2022 09:44

Except I can't run. Or walk.

littlepeas · 09/03/2022 09:44

It's hardly a surprise - you heavily hinted that this is what you wanted!

RonCarlos · 09/03/2022 09:47

I don't think they should have sent you an email either and I think you are right to mention it. I would also be slightly annoyed that they just ignored that part of your email.....

This. Not sure why you're getting so much flack OP. Jeez.