Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spoilt the surprise

139 replies

baytreelane · 08/03/2022 23:07

It was my birthday last week and I had hinted for an expensive treatment. I received an email from said salon to say I have an appointment, immediately followed by another to thank me for my visit. It turns out when DH purchased the voucher they asked if the recipient had been to the spa before, and he gave my name.

I acted surprised when I got the voucher but I felt like it was a ruined surprise due to the emails in the days leading up.

I have emailed to book the treatment today and explained I was disappointed that they alert the recipient of a gift voucher and that it was a birthday present of mine. They sent some dates of availability and completely ignored my comments. I now feel slightly annoyed that they haven't even acknowledged it, let alone apologised. I totally get it could be human error and I would be fine with that but I now feel like I don't want to visit there now but I have this voucher!

Am I being unreasonable here? I'm not one to complain; it wasn't even a compliant. I simply wanted to let them know it's not ideal for anyone receiving a voucher.

OP posts:
PleaseDontDriveMeBlind · 09/03/2022 00:39

YANBU.

Just because you hint for something doesn't mean you're going to get it. I've hinted at a few things before, just ideas, for an Xmas, but how do I know which one I will get? Tbh, I've had occasions shsdd I've hinted at something and not even received it.

So, yeah, receiving something I've hinted at could still be suprise.

Dita73 · 09/03/2022 00:40

It doesn’t matter does it. Just leave it

PleaseDontDriveMeBlind · 09/03/2022 00:40

It's your DPs mistake though

Cocomarine · 09/03/2022 00:49

Bloody hell. You’re not 7.
Which isn’t to say people of all ages can’t like a surprise, but anyone who is an actual adult should be too old to petulantly feel like not going over this!
It’s not even a mistake on their part - he gave them your details!
And it wasn’t even surprise if you’d hinted at it.
I don’t see how you could make yourself sound more unreasonable 🤣

The salon didn’t surprise me with the surprise that wasn’t a surprise when my husband hasn’t told them to surprise me.

🤣

Alexandria94 · 09/03/2022 01:07

So you feel like cancelling the treatment that you really wanted because you found out that your DH booked the treatment that you really wanted? Grin

Yes. Cancel it. I think people who spite themselves over stupid little upsets should be left to their own devices.

KalvinPhillipsManBun · 09/03/2022 01:08

@baytreelane

It was my birthday last week and I had hinted for an expensive treatment. I received an email from said salon to say I have an appointment, immediately followed by another to thank me for my visit. It turns out when DH purchased the voucher they asked if the recipient had been to the spa before, and he gave my name.

I acted surprised when I got the voucher but I felt like it was a ruined surprise due to the emails in the days leading up.

I have emailed to book the treatment today and explained I was disappointed that they alert the recipient of a gift voucher and that it was a birthday present of mine. They sent some dates of availability and completely ignored my comments. I now feel slightly annoyed that they haven't even acknowledged it, let alone apologised. I totally get it could be human error and I would be fine with that but I now feel like I don't want to visit there now but I have this voucher!

Am I being unreasonable here? I'm not one to complain; it wasn't even a compliant. I simply wanted to let them know it's not ideal for anyone receiving a voucher.

Get a grip
TheMagpie · 09/03/2022 04:30

Just enjoy your spa day and get over it. Surprise or not, does it really matter?

thingymaboob · 09/03/2022 04:36

Hardly a surprise if you heavily hinted that you wanted this present,

TheMagpie · 09/03/2022 04:41

@FantasticFebruary

YANBU - it was a Birthday Gift, complete with a voucher. No way should they have emailed the recipient! & spoilt the surprise.
How on earth, then, would the recipient be expected to book their desired date/time? Hmm
WTF475878237NC · 09/03/2022 04:59

It would really annoy me if I got this as a surprise for someone.. so wouldn't give out their email address without checking first how they'd use it

WTF475878237NC · 09/03/2022 05:01

Email on the birthday not before Magpie. Local spa does this

labyrinthlaziness · 09/03/2022 05:10

I think the spa may have their policy wrong to email without checking with the purchaser, but I don't understand how any surprise was ruined in your case as you had hinted/asked for that gift.

The sensible thing to do now would be to enjoy your present.

SarahBellam · 09/03/2022 05:21

It sounds like your husband didn’t realise that you’d be sent confirmation if it was booked under your name, and the salon didn’t realise it was supposed to be a surprise gift. The end result is that you have the present you want, just not the ‘leaping out of the box’ surprise. If you’re keen on surprises why not get your husband to put a whoopie cushion under your pillow one evening?

Cocogreen · 09/03/2022 05:21

You're being unreasonable.
If this is the carry on about a gift you wanted I hate to think what would have been the fallout if your partner had bought you something else.

expat101 · 09/03/2022 05:53

Just go and enjoy it... and be happy He thought and remembered what you would like.

it's not anyone's fault. Move on.

HoppingPavlova · 09/03/2022 05:58

Unless you are a 5yo and it’s Xmas YABVU.

CobraChicken · 09/03/2022 06:02

@WTF475878237NC

It would really annoy me if I got this as a surprise for someone.. so wouldn't give out their email address without checking first how they'd use it
I could be wrong but I think you're misunderstanding this situation.

I got the impression that the DH just named his wife as the recipient of the voucher and the spa took it upon themselves to send her an email. (i.e. They had her email address in the system from a prior visit - not that the DH gave them her email this time.)

lightisnotwhite · 09/03/2022 06:11

YANBU

It’s the opposite of spoilt and bratish to not expect the gift you hinted at. I hint at things I like and it really is a nice surprise if I get something I want.
It’s pretty poor of the spa to not acknowledge your feedback too. I would tell them again that you DH was incredibly disappointed you already knew and that he won’t be using them again.

Hercisback · 09/03/2022 06:21

YABU

Get over yourself..

ChocolateMassacre · 09/03/2022 06:24

I think YABU, sorry.

You hinted so it would hardly have been a huge surprise anyway.

sammylady37 · 09/03/2022 06:39

Bloody hell.
I feel sorry for your husband and anyone else who has to put up with your nonsense.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 09/03/2022 06:41

More than once I’ve given a dd vouchers for a favourite salon as a gift. They have never emailed her in advance. Presumably it was pretty obvious that they were a present.

humblesims · 09/03/2022 06:41

How on earth, then, would the recipient be expected to book their desired date/time
Purchase voucher, give as gift (surprise or otherwise) then birthday girl makes the booking. It's not rocket science.

RandomBasic · 09/03/2022 06:42

@fourandnomore

I understand - your husband could easily have just said yes she’s been but it’s a surprise so send them voucher to my email and I’ll print it out for her. I’d feel the same because most of what I hint at is exactly that, just an idea. It’s nice to have surprises. They should have acknowledged your comment just as a courtesy but I don’t actually think this is their fault, just a miscommunication.
It was your husband that ruined the surprise.

Yanbu to be a little miffed, but be miffed in the correct direction.

fluffythedragonslayer · 09/03/2022 06:42

Blimey why is everyone being so awful to OP?? I agree that it's a shonky system that alerts someone about a gift before it's been given to them.
I don't think OP is being a childish boohoo my birthday was ruined but pointing out that its rubbish that the salon dint have a better system and yes OP you should mention it when you go. Perhaps alerting them to.it will stop them.ruiming someone else's surprise.

I honestly don't know whether you people on here deliberately misunderstand what people mean as an excuse to pile on and be dickheads or if you genuinely think what you say but either way it's mean. Wow this place can be horrible ☹️

Swipe left for the next trending thread