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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spoilt the surprise

139 replies

baytreelane · 08/03/2022 23:07

It was my birthday last week and I had hinted for an expensive treatment. I received an email from said salon to say I have an appointment, immediately followed by another to thank me for my visit. It turns out when DH purchased the voucher they asked if the recipient had been to the spa before, and he gave my name.

I acted surprised when I got the voucher but I felt like it was a ruined surprise due to the emails in the days leading up.

I have emailed to book the treatment today and explained I was disappointed that they alert the recipient of a gift voucher and that it was a birthday present of mine. They sent some dates of availability and completely ignored my comments. I now feel slightly annoyed that they haven't even acknowledged it, let alone apologised. I totally get it could be human error and I would be fine with that but I now feel like I don't want to visit there now but I have this voucher!

Am I being unreasonable here? I'm not one to complain; it wasn't even a compliant. I simply wanted to let them know it's not ideal for anyone receiving a voucher.

OP posts:
EthelTheAardvark · 09/03/2022 07:40

YANBU - it was a Birthday Gift, complete with a voucher. No way should they have emailed the recipient! & spoilt the surprise.

How on earth, then, would the recipient be expected to book their desired date/time?

Why would that be a problem, @TheMagpie? When I received a theatre voucher recently, I booked for the show I wanted to go to after I received the voucher, no-one booked it for me. Surely the same process would happen here?

ChatterMonkey · 09/03/2022 07:40

Im surprised at all the responses, i dont think you're unreasonable at all!

Im not sure if PP get that the dp didn't give the ops email adress... They asked him if she had used the salon previously he said yes and gave her name. Thats it. For all he knew it could have been for the pre treatment health check etc. If hes not a regular salon user himself he isnt to know what they would do with the info of knowing her name.

Op i think it's worth coming clean to your dp, as he was the customer so would need to probably be him that raised the issue with the salon. In this instance you arent really the 'purchaser', just the 'consumer' so they probably wouldnt be able to go over details of the transaction with you anyway

lemongreentea · 09/03/2022 07:43

YABU - this was never a surprise as you asked your husband for it.
Do you have other stuff going on OP? Are you generally happy with your husband or do you find he annoys you generally and doesn't do things the way you want?

reluctantbrit · 09/03/2022 07:48

I think the salon did make a mistake, if a voucher is bought no email should go out to the recipient about the purchase. It is worth raising it when you book or visit.

But - you basically asked for this. I find the idea to feign being surprised strangely.

DH ordered a present for me, using my shop account to purchase it but changed the delivery address to just show his name. He didn't know that they text when the item was dispatched. So, I knew my present but I hardly started a tantrum about it. I turned 49, not 4, so it's hardly a disaster if something goes wrong.

Bananarama21 · 09/03/2022 07:50

There's alot more going on the world than this is rather trivial

MarinoRoyale · 09/03/2022 07:52

So you essentially asked for a gift, you ended up getting the gift but because you knew you were getting the gift before your actual birthday, you’re miffed and are now focusing on the delivery of the gift rather than the fact you’ve got what you wanted in the first place?! Give your head a wobble OP and enjoy the fact you got what you wanted Smile

Shitfuckcommaetc · 09/03/2022 07:52

@lemongreentea

YABU - this was never a surprise as you asked your husband for it. Do you have other stuff going on OP? Are you generally happy with your husband or do you find he annoys you generally and doesn't do things the way you want?
She's not even mad at her husband 😂

Are we all reading the same post?!

Dammitthisisshit · 09/03/2022 07:57

Struth mumsnet doesn’t like surprises!
I get it OP, but I love a surprise. For me that is the thing that makes a birthday special.

NewtoHolland · 09/03/2022 07:58

To be honest I don't really get it...
You asked for this so it's not really a suprise...
I can understand slight disappointment,
But you asked for this so it was never a suprise in the first place really

I hope you are able to go and enjoy your treatment.

Ohyesiam · 09/03/2022 08:00

As you had requested it, it was never going to be a surprise.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 09/03/2022 08:03

You are over reacting not to want to go!

It’s just a slight mishap. Your DH didn’t tell them not to contact you.

It was lovely of your DH to pick up your hint and get what you wanted. It is something you wanted, and will enjoy and appreciate.

I hope you have a lovely day.

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 09/03/2022 08:07

You are completely overthinking this. DH didn't tell them it was meant to be a surprise so they applied their normal policies in notifying you. If he wanted it kept from you he should have given his own email address.

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 09/03/2022 08:08

Where are you based? I love an expensive treatment so I am happy to go along instead of you.

WomanStanleyWoman · 09/03/2022 08:11

You hinted for the present; you got the present. Now you’re whinging because it wasn’t a surprise you got the present?

Are you always this much of a princess?

SolasAnla · 09/03/2022 08:13

If your husband did not give your details to them you could gently point that they got lucky this time, his mistress also likes a relaxing spa day......😁😏
That type of complaint is best done in person☺😉 as you get to see how professional the front desk is🤷🏼‍♀️.

Seriously if your husband did not give your details they have a GDPR issue which could cost them in time, fines and reputation. They should have treated your comment as a complaint and acknowledge having received it.
On the hubby side just let him know, you hinted, he listened and got what you wanted.

IamMaz · 09/03/2022 08:16

I think it's normal practice for gift vouchers such as this to be emailed directly to the recipient.
I presume they asked your DH for your email address so they could do this? He wasn't to know they would email you before your birthday and may not have specified the exact date.

I have often bought similar vouchers as gifts - but use the option for them to be sent to ME so that I can forward them when I want to. I wouldn't want to rely on the company to send them on time.
I think the company did what they were asked and your DH should have been a bit more savvy.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 09/03/2022 08:22

you have got the present you wanted!
what could be wrong?

MrsLargeEmbodied · 09/03/2022 08:23

it is not their fault, how should they have known it was a gift

it was your dh's fault

dont complain to him, that would be divaish

foorisajar · 09/03/2022 08:27

Sorry OP, but grow up

pinkyredrose · 09/03/2022 08:28

I'm sorry you're going through this.

MayorMargeret · 09/03/2022 08:28

If they emailed to thank you for your visit then it sounds like they have system problems! I would wait until you get there to mention your lovely surprise gift wasn't a surprise thanks to their emails. They should be apologetic and explain why it happened. Don't let it spoil your day though.

Vitani · 09/03/2022 08:30

this is your biggest problem? Have you seen what's going on in the world?

Stuff like this is so patronising. Yes, there's a war on, yes there's people starving and going through extreme suffering. That doesn't mean people who are privileged not to be in those situations, never get to have a moan of be annoyed about anything. Honestly, I hope those who trot this shite out never complain about anything because there's always someone with worse problems? I hope you always have a smile on your face.

BigHairyCoconut · 09/03/2022 08:31

I can understand you being disappointed if you hadn't been hinting at all about this gift, but you pretty much knew it was coming Confused

TabithaTittlemouse · 09/03/2022 08:33

It would be silly not to go.
You’re a bit disappointed and that’s ok, you can’t help how you feel but don’t spoil it.

I would be delighted to get that email!

stuntbubbles · 09/03/2022 08:35

I would sue for emotional distress.

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