My husband keeps crossing the road dangerously with our baby

[snowmansnowman]

My husband has twice crossed the road unsafely with our 7 month old baby. The first time was a couple of months ago, when he ran across the road pushing the pram our baby in it while cars were getting ready to go. It was a red man for pedestrians, and red light for the cars which turned green as he ran across the road. His explanation was “I thought we had time and the cars weren’t going yet.” I had a very firm word with him that it’s dangerous and it can’t ever happen again.

The second time happened tonight. He was wearing our baby in a sling, we came to a traffic light, he pressed our wait button then proceeded to cross straight away, the man was still red for pedestrians. The light for cars were green throughout, cars on both lanes thankfully saw my husband and baby on the road and managed to brake and slow down, so they came to no harm.

I am so livid that he would put my baby at risk. He is generally a careless and clumsy person, and I’ve told him time and time again he needs to be more aware of things now that we have a baby.

At the moment I don’t want him to push the pram or wear the baby in the sling ever again. Am I being over the top? AIBU??

@mathanxiety You are spot on. And I am sorry that you and your daughter are or had been put in that position. Society’s himpathy has a lot to answer for.

@snowmansnowman YANBU at all. Keep advocating for your baby’s safety and don’t be swayed by excuses. I sincerely hope that he actually cares enough to listen and take it on board.

I’ve been sleep deprived and exhausted too (just like most parents) and that is when I would take extra care, because I know I am tired.

Most reasonable people would decide to use a crossing and just wait for the walk signal to turn green and not risk crossing the road when sleep deprived and especially when holding their baby.

Thank you so much everyone for all the support, I didn’t actually expect to see so many of you sharing your experiences and in essence encouraging me to stay strong as a new mum.

I’ve spoken to my husband who understood the gravity of the situation. He is mortified that he’s done that. The broken sleep seems to affect him worse than me so he now sleeps in the guest room so he has uninterrupted sleep. I end up doing all the night time parenting but to be honest I would rather be more tired myself than to have my baby in any near-miss situations again

And I’ve also decided that only I push the pram and carry the baby when out for now. He said he’s willing to earn my trust again and I will reassess this once I’m assured he’s had all his sleep and feeling more sorted. They never joked when they said a new baby can challenge the relationship!

YABU, he's made it this far through life without being mown down.

@OpheliaThrupps that would be a correct assumption for most people but my husband has actually been hit by cars before

They never joked when they said a new baby can challenge the relationship!

It's not the new baby who challenges relationships. It is the way having the baby throws the worst traits of one partner into stark relief - fecklessness, selfishness, the ability to completely abnegate responsibility.

Also the ability to ensure one person is left with all the night time parenting while he gets his full eight hours of peace.

I do not buy for one minute this story of recklessness caused by lack of sleep. He has been hit by cars before. But he now gets to sleep all night and you don't. Full marks for brazen chutzpah.

I end up doing all the night time parenting but to be honest I would rather be more tired myself than to have my baby in any near-miss situations again

If you notice over time that the solution to problems in your H's approach is that he ends up not doing things and you end up with more and more to do, please stand still long enough to note the pattern.

'He put the woolen jumpers into the hot wash one time too many so now I do all the laundry..'

'He forgot to pay the car insurance so now I do all the car admin..'

'He forgot that DS had football on Saturday morning so I drove him instead but never mind, I'll just rearrange my dental appointment..'

Reading some of the earlier posts it amazes me how many people clearly don't use traffic lights correctly. They are there to keep people safe. Where are you in such a rush to get to that you can't wait for a green light!!

Op YANBU . I'm just not sure how you can manage this going forward. You should not have to police your oh or do all parenting responsibilities for fear he might fail. Tats not fair on you. I'd maybe Google some horror stories and share with him. Try to help him see the risk.

No, but I'm not sure how that will go down. Men never think the same as women. They are risky by nature, or as u prefer to call them, dicks

I have noticed people of both sexes using baby carriages as battering rams, poking them into the street as if they are powerful enough to stop traffic--forgetting that there is a precious infant inside!

@PrincessNutella

I have noticed people of both sexes using baby carriages as battering rams, poking them into the street as if they are powerful enough to stop traffic--forgetting that there is a precious infant inside!

Yep and they use Parma as battering rams on pavements as well.

An utter cunt rammed one into my elderly mum’s legs from behind, because my mum wasn’t walking fast enough for her.

I would love to smash their face.

Parma?!

Unfortunately he has always been a very mindless and careless person.

Yet you still chose to have children with him. I truly don't understand this. Him being "lovely" in other ways does not make up for the fact that he is an wreckless, incompetent parent who can't even be trusted to care for their own child. What a mess. I would say LTB but how can you? You couldn't possibly leave the baby alone with him for visitation.