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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you'll sponsor a Ukrainian refugee?

280 replies

TheBeesKnee · 07/03/2022 13:17

The humanitarian pathway means that charities, communities and individuals can sponsor refugees. I've felt very disturbed and useless this past week and want to do something, contribute somehow, make a difference to someone's life.

We have a spare room, so we could take someone in? Just need to talk to DP.

Would be interested to hear if anyone else plans to or experiences - either in this war or any previous if applicable.

OP posts:
TimBoothseyes · 07/03/2022 18:20

No. I don't have the space, finances or the mental strength to cope.

TiddyTidTwo · 07/03/2022 18:27

I would but I live in a tiny one bed cottage with my cat and dog. However, I do have a caravan which has everything you'd need to live in. My daughter works in a large pub/restaurant on a huge camping site. My caravan pitched there complete with possible employment is the best I can come up with to help.

I have also donated a sum for aid but want to do more!

TiddyTidTwo · 07/03/2022 18:28

Edit: it's an idea only so far...

FangsForTheMemory · 07/03/2022 19:15

I have registered with Refugees At Home. No heard back from them yet, I should think they are swamped.

TheOnlyMrsMac · 07/03/2022 19:41

NACCOM is taking registrations for people wanting to host refugees and also offers an opportunity to donate if you are unable to host.

Frazzled50yrold · 07/03/2022 20:03

I've hosted Ukrainian and Belarusian children in the past.It's obviously quite different because it's time bound but it would give me the confidence to offer a place to a family. Whether they'd want to live 5 miles from the nearest shop without even being on a bus route is another matter.

Woollystockings · 07/03/2022 20:05

You need to live I a city, I think, to host refugees.

grapewines · 07/03/2022 20:18

@girlmom21

Desperate women with small children? How cold you are.

I don't think it's fair to make these statements. People have different boundaries and limits. You don't know who you're welcoming into your home.

It's all well and good to say "yeah I'd definitely do it" on an online forum but the reality and practicality is very different.

Don't attack people who are just being honest about their feelings.

Absolutely this. Thank you.

Also, it's just Ukraine, OP. No "the". The Russians referred to "the Ukraine" during the Soviet times. Ukraine is the independent country. It's important.

From Wiki:

"The use of "the Ukraine" is officially deprecated by the Ukrainian government and many English language media publications. Ukraine is the official full name of the country, as stated in its declaration of independence and its constitution; there is no official alternative long name."

EezyOozy · 07/03/2022 20:30

We have a spare room and could afford
To clothe and feed a mother and 1/2 children. Beyond that I'm not sure what we could afford for them. The Refugees for Home site specifically states only those living in cities can apply, which is sad. We live in a lovely peaceful village with a train station and good transport links to the nearest city... i suppose they would tea t refugees to be "stranded" and would like them to be able to walk to the places they need to be.

EezyOozy · 07/03/2022 20:32

*I suppose they wouldn't want refugees to be stranded

Frazzled50yrold · 07/03/2022 20:44

I'm hoping that other opportunities will be offered to allow people to assist refugees ie: with day trips or a simple meal

NukesOfHazard · 07/03/2022 20:47

I have the time the space and the money

But I also have an autistic child who has to be kept on an even keel

In my shoes. If I didn’t have any children I’d be doing it for sure - but no me

user468375484 · 07/03/2022 20:48

@hassletassle

We have a spare room and could afford To clothe and feed a mother and 1/2 children. Beyond that I'm not sure what we could afford for them. The Refugees for Home site specifically states only those living in cities can apply, which is sad. We live in a lovely peaceful village with a train station and good transport links to the nearest city... i suppose they would tea t refugees to be "stranded" and would like them to be able to walk to the places they need to be.
Trouble is that, best case scenario, they're receiving £39.63 a week from the government, which has to cover everything beyond housing. Some are receiving nothing, or are only receiving a small stipend from a charity.

How much would a train ticket to the nearest city cost?

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/03/2022 20:51

It’s a worthy thought but honestly, how many people do you know who could afford to accommodate, keep warm, feed, bathe another family, possibly for months and months?

We’re on a good household income but there’s very little spare at the end of the month.

EezyOozy · 07/03/2022 20:54

@user468375484 indeed, I get it. Just a shame as there are many outside of cities that would be able to put people up. It would cost about £5 (one way) to the nearest city, that's advance purchase. So yes, they couldn't afford it on little to no income .

Dinoteeth · 07/03/2022 20:56

@MrsSkylerWhite

It’s a worthy thought but honestly, how many people do you know who could afford to accommodate, keep warm, feed, bathe another family, possibly for months and months?

We’re on a good household income but there’s very little spare at the end of the month.

That's another consideration, few people could afford to do it even those who could would be making sacrifices elsewhere.
Original poster
TheBeesKnee · 08/03/2022 00:18

@MrsSkylerWhite

It’s a worthy thought but honestly, how many people do you know who could afford to accommodate, keep warm, feed, bathe another family, possibly for months and months?

We’re on a good household income but there’s very little spare at the end of the month.

Personally, not many. However, Mumsnet is generally quite a bit more well off than the general population so I don't think my question is that outrageous, given the demographic.
OP posts:
LinuxPenguinPCnerd · 08/03/2022 22:10

No spare room and currently skipping meals due to lack of money. So no.

veevee04 · 08/03/2022 22:19

No I don't fancy strangers living with us and particularly my DD I have donated money. If I was very rich and had spare properties I would .

ABitBesotted · 08/03/2022 22:54

*If I was very rich and had spare properties I would.

Isn't it pretty to think so.

sst1234 · 08/03/2022 23:31

@Arabellla

These threads always get posted and it's never followed up with a post by the OP saying they actually housed a refugee.
Refugees are the new hobby. Everyone needs to have one. Honestly the virtue signalling is getting so absurd now, it’s crazy. 15 mins of fame is so last century, nowadays it’s 15 mins of self righteousness. Then move onto the next bandwagon.
Helenahandkart · 09/03/2022 11:12

That seems a bit harsh. Apparently the refugee agencies are inundated with offers of spare rooms and can’t process them quickly enough, so at least some people must be following up on their ‘virtue signalling’.

For what it’s worth, I have offered my spare room and basic meals to UK-based Ukrainian friends, to house their friends/family. They’ve told me that it’s impossible to get them over here to take me up on the offer because of the bureaucracy involved. Hopefully that will change soon, so that I can get started on my new ‘refugee hobby’.

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/03/2022 12:49

Helenahandkart
For what it’s worth, I have offered my spare room and basic meals to UK-based Ukrainian friends, to house their friends/family. They’ve told me that it’s impossible to get them over here to take me up on the offer because of the bureaucracy involved. Hopefully that will change soon, so that I can get started on my new ‘refugee hobby’.“

If I understood PMQ’s today, the sponsorship scheme is being finalised now so you will have the opportunity very soon.

Helenahandkart · 09/03/2022 12:54

I hope do! My Ukrainian friend was in tears yesterday about her mother and sister trapped without electricity for a week, no milk or bread, and tanks driving through their gardens.

DoggerelBank · 09/03/2022 13:31

@MrsSkylerWhite

Helenahandkart For what it’s worth, I have offered my spare room and basic meals to UK-based Ukrainian friends, to house their friends/family. They’ve told me that it’s impossible to get them over here to take me up on the offer because of the bureaucracy involved. Hopefully that will change soon, so that I can get started on my new ‘refugee hobby’.“

If I understood PMQ’s today, the sponsorship scheme is being finalised now so you will have the opportunity very soon.

Thanks for the PMQ tip. Fingers crossed not long to wait now for details of the sponsorship scheme. And that the small print doesn't make it less useful than they're trying to make it sound.
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