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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you'll sponsor a Ukrainian refugee?

280 replies

TheBeesKnee · 07/03/2022 13:17

The humanitarian pathway means that charities, communities and individuals can sponsor refugees. I've felt very disturbed and useless this past week and want to do something, contribute somehow, make a difference to someone's life.

We have a spare room, so we could take someone in? Just need to talk to DP.

Would be interested to hear if anyone else plans to or experiences - either in this war or any previous if applicable.

OP posts:
VelvetChairGirl · 13/03/2022 12:26

I am curious about all those saying they would offer a spare room, why they were not doing so already to the millions of families in this country stuck i temporary accommodation for years, which are normally B&Bs which throw them out during the day, or 1 room bedsits.

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/03/2022 12:29

Maybe because it will be time-limited?

Aibu2bangry · 13/03/2022 12:36

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

DonnyOpickme · 13/03/2022 13:54

The idea is that the refugees have as much independence possible from the info I have. So cooking for themselves, doing own laundry and so forth. The emphasis is very much on it being accommodation only. There is the opportunity to meet each other beforehand to see if it is an ok fit. Take the point of the pp though, the lack of an end point is something to be factored in as the info only talks about a 6 month min period. I expect there will be a lot of emotional blackmail - fir want of a better phrase- to come.

User76745333 · 13/03/2022 14:08

We have a spare house (elderly relative gone into a care home) which we were going to do up gradually. It’s dated but it’s a three bed with a garden and has a fully functional kitchen with appliances and a bathroom. It’s also furnished. We will probably offer it

user468375484 · 13/03/2022 15:48

Also the measly £350 monthly payment per group you house would barely cover basic costs. Who will find their daily to day expenses and travel and entertainment? Also the government payment will affect any tax credits/benefits/pension we receive so many will end up even worse off

The £350 is just for rent and bills - they're also eligible to work or claim benefits which should cover their food / clothes / toiletries / bus fares and so on.

Outside the SE, £350 is about what you'd expect to get if you took in a lodger, so it's not an unreasonable sum for rent and bills.

I haven't seen details yet on if it will affect benefits / single person discount. However, it will almost certainly be tax free under the Rent A Room scheme (up to £7500/year)

Obviously this is going to be much more cost effective if you're only taking a single person or couple. No one is going to take Olga and her 6 kids for £350/month!

Househogger · 13/03/2022 17:16

As you can see from my username I live in a large house on my own (I am one of the boomer househoggers mentioned on here). I am seriously interested in doing this. I have two double spare rooms and a single.
I would need the reassurance of being linked to a support organisation though.
Just the same as taking in a stranger from the UK, we could get on very well or I could get someone who made me feel sidelined and uncomfortable in my own home.
I intend to look into it and offer but I do need back up in the background in case of problems.
I am property rich/ income quite poor. I wouldn't want to make any money out of it as I would be glad of someone to help if I was in that situation. I could take an older person like myself or a woman with two or three children under 16 (any sex of child). I think I will enquire and see whhat happens.

Househogger · 13/03/2022 17:22

Velvetchairgirl Reason I have not already offered accommodation to a homeless family stuck in a B&B is same concerns. -Frightened of getting someone who would be very difficult/ abusive. It involves taking a big chance and needs proper support.

ajandjjmum · 14/03/2022 09:25

I've been looking to try and find where to register an interest in this. Has anyone found out how to do it?

We have an independent annexe that we're happy to offer.

EezyOozy · 14/03/2022 11:57

@ajandjjmum You should be able to register interest formally using a web form that will be going live today, apparently! It doesn't seem to be live yet. If you're interested I've set up another thread for people interested in offering housing into refugees here (and the processes and practicalities around this):

thread for those interested in refugee hosting/sponsorship http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4503717-thread-for-those-interested-in-refugee-hosting-sponsorship

TheBeesKnee · 14/03/2022 17:03

So the website has launched [link homesforukraine.campaign.gov.uk/] but I can't sign up yet, I'm guessing that's a lot of traffic going through.

OP posts:
ABitBesotted · 14/03/2022 17:07

Hmm.

To ask if you'll sponsor a Ukrainian refugee?
Aibu2bangry · 14/03/2022 17:22

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Peasock · 14/03/2022 17:24

@ABitBesotted

Hmm.
Just remove the /] at the end of the link.
watchingrnfire · 14/03/2022 17:28

No I wouldn't. Especially after seeing how Ukrainian soldiers are treating non-Ukrainian people in their country.
And where was the sponsoring for afghans, Iraqis Syrians? This country goes and causes havoc in their countries but doesn't expect anyone in the uk to sponsor them. Nothing makes Ukrainians any more better or worthier than others.

watchingrnfire · 14/03/2022 17:29

*Ukrainian immigrants I should've wrote

ABitBesotted · 14/03/2022 17:32

Thank you, @peasock

LanaSQ · 14/03/2022 18:11

I desperately want to help and think I should. Unthread I shared my experiences of working with refugees so I have no 'rose coloured' glasses so I know how complicated a process this is.

The more I think about it, sadly this feels like another quickly spouted government initiative to get some good publicity and get Europe off Johnson's back.
Refugees in their thousands, living with strangers....and what happens at the end of that time...where do they live?

Johnson will put this in place, with very little support for anyone, we'll end up with no where near the numbers of refugees here than we could have taken, and the government will declare a success ( on the back of uk volunteers).

The implications of this are huge, this government needs to do some serious planning and spending rather than spouting more unworkable soundbites. So cross.

LanaSQ · 14/03/2022 18:12

*upthread

StoneofDestiny · 14/03/2022 18:46

Yes - my current problem is I can't do 6 months as I have several holidays booked and house guests booked at other times. If I can get a straight run at 6 months, no problem.

StoneofDestiny · 14/03/2022 18:51

Hope the royals will come forwards with their many palaces and hundreds of rooms - they could house many many families.

ajandjjmum · 14/03/2022 19:41

@StoneofDestiny

Hope the royals will come forwards with their many palaces and hundreds of rooms - they could house many many families.
This old chestnut!
RivaLa · 14/03/2022 21:19

Some information from a City of Sanctuary volunteer, experienced in supporting refugees. Hope it helps if you are considering this.

It’s fabulous that so many people here in Ripon and across Britain want to welcome Ukrainians into their homes or provide accommodation for them. This is a really significant moment in British history! If you’re interested in hosting then this could be the beginning of a fantastic lifelong friendship, but it's important to bear in mind that it could also be challenging. Here are 7 key things to consider - hope this helps!
The information we offer is based on lots of experience with refugees locally and internationally. I myself have hosted a Syrian refugee in my home in Ripon for 8 months, which was a genuinely brilliant experience.

  • - - - - - -
FIRST, think about timescales. The scheme asks you to commit to 6 months, but longer if you can. What will you do when this time is up? It would be unfair to make them homeless, so some careful planning and fair warning will be needed. Of course, it might go so well that you want to keep extending it! SECOND, think about what will happen if you don’t see eye to eye… Living with someone else can be challenging  They may raise their children in a way you wouldn’t, leave dirty pans in the sink, trek mud across the carpet, take all the hot water or play loud music. We’re all human! THIRD, Ukrainians will be coming direct from a war zone and their journey here may also have been very stressful and dangerous. Could you cope with symptoms of trauma in your home at 3am (like night terrors, flashbacks, severe insomnia etc), and the effect on any young children in your home? Refugees from other countries, who come here on government programmes, have already spent several years in a safe host country and have had time to do some recovery before they get here. FOURTH, refugees usually want, and are encouraged, to become as independent as possible. They may or may not want to live as part of your family. You might need to think about times when they can have exclusive access to your kitchen, and set a fixed time when they can have the bathroom. They might need a lot of space and privacy to work through what’s happened to them. Contact with other Ukrainians will really help them, and you could support them by facilitating this. Their desire to spend time with you may wax and wane from day to day, or week to week. One day they might really want your company, and the next day they might be in an awful mood and want to be left alone – just like any of us, really! FIFTH, existing refugee hosting schemes often only accept applications from sponsors in cities, which does make sense because there will already be people from the same country as the refugee, along with cultural clubs and associations, interpreters, ethnic food shops, appropriate places of worship, etc. Where YOU live might be just the right place for a woman with small children to come to, but it might not – for example, they may be used to big-city life, or there may be very few other Ukrainians nearby; or they may have no English, or if you’re in a small village and they’re totally dependent on you to get anywhere. SIXTH, can you afford it? The government will pay £350 per household, but if you take in a family of 4 then it's going to cost you more in heat, light and power than if you take a single person. The scheme doesn't allow you to charge them rent. FINALLY, and most importantly, applying for the scheme has to be about the refugee/s’ needs, not the sponsor’s need to have this experience. For example, you’d need to be careful not to ask any probing questions about what’s happened to them, and accept that if they don’t volunteer the information, you may never find out. So if you’re thinking about sponsoring, then good for you - but it’s best to think long and hard about all the pros and cons. A quick “I want to help” is lovely, but other people’s wellbeing is at stake – people who have already suffered massively.
TheOnlyMrsMac · 15/03/2022 09:26

homesforukraine.campaign.gov.uk/

cityofsanctuary.org/

Not everyone can offer accommodation, but there are many other ways to help. Here is one, helping some of the most vulnerable children in Ukraine:
www.wearelumos.org
www.wearelumos.org/get-involved/ukraine-appeal/

bellinisurge · 15/03/2022 09:31

No space not much money but happy to give money to help out. A grandparent was a child refugee.

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