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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you'll sponsor a Ukrainian refugee?

280 replies

TheBeesKnee · 07/03/2022 13:17

The humanitarian pathway means that charities, communities and individuals can sponsor refugees. I've felt very disturbed and useless this past week and want to do something, contribute somehow, make a difference to someone's life.

We have a spare room, so we could take someone in? Just need to talk to DP.

Would be interested to hear if anyone else plans to or experiences - either in this war or any previous if applicable.

OP posts:
DoggerelBank · 07/03/2022 16:44

@DoggerelBank

Thanks, *@ChrisSays*. Useful to know.
Although wouldn't it be likely that those making the effort to come to the UK rather than staying in Hungary/Poland/Germany etc would be motivated by their knowledge of English? Why come here otherwise, when other countries are being more welcoming at this point?
ChrisSays · 07/03/2022 16:49

@DoggerelBank no idea, I was just responding to you asking why people assumed not many would speak English. In my job I meet lots of ‘clients’ who can’t speak a word of English so people definitely come here for and need interpreters.
I have no clue how the refugee triage will be organised but it’s not unreasonable to take language barrier in to consideration.

DoggerelBank · 07/03/2022 16:52

[quote MurmuratingStarling]**@TheBeesKnee If you want a Ukrainian refugee living with you, just google 'how can I offer a home to a refugee' ??? There are dozens of links and websites that will advise you. There's really no need to announce it on here, or ask others if they will be doing the same. It comes across and holier-than-thou, passive aggressive, and utterly thoughtless and ignorant. And the small handful of posters trying to make other posters feel guilty for saying no should be ashamed of themselves.

MOST people aren't able to help, as they are just about making enough money to feed their children and themselves, their rent or mortgage, their bills, and their petrol and car running costs. In addition, there's the knowledge that their energy bills are rising by 50-60% next month.

On top of all that, we have ALL been through a massive world pandemic, where millions of people have lost their income, their home, their loved ones, and their business, (and some have very near lost their sanity!) Some have had to deal with severe anxiety and mental health issues, home schooling, caring for elderly relatives, and some whilst working from home.

Right now some people can just about rustle up the will to get out of bed in the morning.

FFS read the room. Hmm And that goes to several other posters too!

We are all upset and shocked at what's happening in Ukraine, but it's not up to individual ordinary working people with ordinary homes and ordinary/low incomes to take the refugees in. And as has been said, many can't, and threads like this are pointless and smug, and help NO-ONE. What's more, we all know the OP is not going to take any refugees in. (and @Strawberryjellyicecream Wink would never do it either...)[/quote]
Well, I'm really grateful to @TheBeesKnee for starting this thread. It's really useful to discuss it with others with the same idea. I don't know anyone else in real life who is thinking about this and, for exactly the reasons you outline above, it's a bit awkward asking around. So thank you, OP.
Of course those not in a position to help shouldn't be made to feel bad about it. We all know the cost of living crisis is making things harder and harder for everyone. But I can assure you that real people really do do this, and it's not in order to smug it over others. Having a Mumsnet community doing it together would really help, I think. Isn't that the kind of thing Mumsnet is for? Holding each other's hands while we go through something new and challenging?

BottlingBurpsForGrandma · 07/03/2022 16:53

I am really interested to hear @Strawberryjellyicecream 's stories of hosting refugee families from Bosnia, Syria and Afghanistan and how it interracted with normal life. I have a feeling they are all mouth and no trousers but happy to be proved wrong.

I don't apologise for knowing my family's limits. Like most normal families, we have extremely limited resources to offer, although I don't necessarily mean financial.

Bjarnum · 07/03/2022 16:58

How do you go about offering accommodation to Ukrainian refugees? Could anyone who knows please inbox me? Thanks

Tethersend01 · 07/03/2022 16:58

Yes we would. We have room and luckily, currently the finances to soak up basic needs (food, extra heating costs etc).
However, having gone online to investigate further, the charities I have found say only apply if you live in a city! So that counts us out.
Also, as they would be living in our home we would only take women and children due to safeguarding reasons.
But yes, we can and will if the need arises.

caringcarer · 07/03/2022 17:02

The Canadian system of 5 all helping one family sounds really good. I kitted out an Afghan child with cricket kit. I offered to take an unaccompanied child in but was told it would be better for them to go to a Muslim family. Hence I bought them cricket kit and paid for a cricket club membership for them.

Whelmed · 07/03/2022 17:05

I'm not in a position to offer a place to stay to a refugee.

Trytryandtryagain11 · 07/03/2022 17:08

I've been considering doing the same, have just felt so useless and actually quite embarrassed by the policy this country has put in place to help the Ukrainian refugees. If anyone has any links where we can find out more I'd be really interested - I just can't make heads or tails of the info out there at the moment so don't know what we'd actually need to do or commit to!

AHungryCaterpillar · 07/03/2022 17:10

No I wouldn’t even consider it. Wouldn’t let anyone live in my house.

Wannakisstheteacher · 07/03/2022 17:11

No - there is just no way we could afford it right now. The price of petrol, gas, electricity, food.

NuclearBunker · 07/03/2022 17:12

No. Not in the monetary sense or in the "come live in my house" sense. Firstly, I think it's insulting and weird to sponsor a human being like they're a donkey or a llama or something. Secondly, the safety implications are huge

Puppyseahorse · 07/03/2022 17:14

You can do ‘community sponsorship’ where you form a responsible community group and identify housing for the refugee, which is paid by housing benefit. But it is a very long process to get approved- it’s not a humanitarian response, it’s a long term resettlement response.

Or, you can do ‘refugees at home’ and open up your spare room to an asylum seeker (ie, someone who has not yet been given refugee status.)

Those are the options really. But, governments don’t decide refugee policy based on how many rooms are available- lots more complicated than that.

TheOnlyMrsMac · 07/03/2022 17:16

Have a look at the City of Sanctuary UK website. Lots of ideas about how to help Ukrainian and other refugees, whether you can host or not.

RishiRich · 07/03/2022 17:20

I'd be happy to contribute financially but I don't have a spare bedroom to actually host anyone. The Canadian 'rule of 5' sounds brilliant.

Luckygreenduck · 07/03/2022 17:27

If people are interested in community sponsorship then check in out the organisation RESET which has lots of information. This is the process that was set up for Syrian refugees but I imagine any new scheme would be similar. Lots of similarities to the Canada version.
@Cognoscenti you could contact them and they may be able to match you to a community group in your area looking for a property or contact your Local Authority. They are likely to be looking for properties to house refugees and would pay you the local housing allowance rate.

user468375484 · 07/03/2022 17:27

On the topic of how you'd communicate with someone who spoke no English, the Google translate app is amazing.

A few years ago I spent a good evening in a Thai backpackers hostel with people from several different countries including two girls from China who spoke not a word of English. Through Google translate we explained the rules of the card game and chatted a bit - we all had a good evening.

You can even speak into the app and it automatically translates and speaks the translation back at you!

coloradoqueen · 07/03/2022 17:39

Unfortunately I'm not in the position to house someone, but if there were families locally, or local organisations helping refugees, I would definitely volunteer.

Chakraleaf · 07/03/2022 17:40

@HopefulProcrastinator

If I...
  • Didn't have children
  • Had the space
  • Wasn't counting the pennies until the next pay day

Then yes, I'd consider signing up as a safe place for women/children in need of it. Whether that's for Ukrainians or others in a vulnerable and impossible situation.

However, my reality like many in the UK is that taking care of me and mine is looking increasingly impossible - there's no way I could accomodate more people into our lives.

Exactly this.
MooPointCowsOpinion · 07/03/2022 17:41

I voted UABU because I assume you are in the Uk and we have taken a grand total of 50 people in and none for several days now. There are no Ukrainian refugees (or other nationalities to be honest) for you to take in.

user468375484 · 07/03/2022 17:45

@MooPointCowsOpinion

I voted UABU because I assume you are in the Uk and we have taken a grand total of 50 people in and none for several days now. There are no Ukrainian refugees (or other nationalities to be honest) for you to take in.
There are a great many people already here from countries other than Ukraine who need hosting. Mainly they're Afghan, Iraqi, Iranian, Eritrean, Syrian, Albanian or Sudanese.

If you're interested in hosting and live somewhere fairly urban you can go through
www.roomforrefugees.com
www.refugeesathome.org

DoggerelBank · 07/03/2022 17:51

@MooPointCowsOpinion

I voted UABU because I assume you are in the Uk and we have taken a grand total of 50 people in and none for several days now. There are no Ukrainian refugees (or other nationalities to be honest) for you to take in.
Shockingly poor response so far, agreed. I urge everyone to contact their MPs and ask them for news on this statement which the govt issued a week ago and seems to have said nothing about since:

"As well as existing asylum routes, an uncapped sponsored humanitarian visa route for those without existing connections to the UK will allow sponsors, such as councils, communities or private sponsors, to bring people to the UK. The sponsor would provide housing and integration support, and the arrivals will be to work and access services. Further details on this route will be shared shortly, including how people and organisations in the UK can apply to become sponsors and how those fleeing Ukraine can access the scheme."

Hillsmakeyoustrong · 07/03/2022 18:01

I spoke to my local council about housing a family from Afghanistan and did not feel encouraged. They said that as there were not many refugees in our local community, there wasn't the community infrastructure to support them. They also said the property would be subject to a security check and that properties don't always pass for seemingly bizarre reasons. Anyway, I didn't feel it was going to happen...

I would definitely financially sponsor a refugee from anywhere.

CMZ2018 · 07/03/2022 18:06

No

TraceyLacey · 07/03/2022 18:16

I'm interested in the feeling that it's not up to ordinary families to take in refugees. I wonder what would have happened to the evacuee programme in WW2 if the general population had thought this way?