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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you'll sponsor a Ukrainian refugee?

280 replies

TheBeesKnee · 07/03/2022 13:17

The humanitarian pathway means that charities, communities and individuals can sponsor refugees. I've felt very disturbed and useless this past week and want to do something, contribute somehow, make a difference to someone's life.

We have a spare room, so we could take someone in? Just need to talk to DP.

Would be interested to hear if anyone else plans to or experiences - either in this war or any previous if applicable.

OP posts:
Vodkaskirts · 07/03/2022 13:39

I have been thinking along similar lines - Wondering whether it would be a option

HermioneWeasley · 07/03/2022 13:44

No, I wouldn’t. We don’t have a spare room and I don’t want traumatised strangers with no shared language in my house. Presumably it’s at least medium term rather than a night or two? I am happy to contribute financially to support families being given suitable accommodation and the right mental health support.

HermioneWeasley · 07/03/2022 13:45

Given that most of the refugees from this war are women and children, I think it’s widely open to abuse - I can see lots of predatory men and people traffickers signing up to offer to sponsor.

Blackcatsocks · 07/03/2022 13:49

No. I feel like enough is already happening. Rising prices, working like a dog, trying to keep the show on the road. The last thing I need is more people living in my house.

HopefulProcrastinator · 07/03/2022 13:56

If I...

  • Didn't have children
  • Had the space
  • Wasn't counting the pennies until the next pay day

Then yes, I'd consider signing up as a safe place for women/children in need of it. Whether that's for Ukrainians or others in a vulnerable and impossible situation.

However, my reality like many in the UK is that taking care of me and mine is looking increasingly impossible - there's no way I could accomodate more people into our lives.

WorraLiberty · 07/03/2022 13:58

@Blackcatsocks

No. I feel like enough is already happening. Rising prices, working like a dog, trying to keep the show on the road. The last thing I need is more people living in my house.
I think this is the reality of it for many people.

Juggling everything you mentioned and inviting a severely traumatised family into your home, with a probable language barrier could be a recipe for disaster.

Add to that, that it's hard to trust local authorities would provide the money and support needed to both the refugees and the home owners.

MintyFreshBreath · 07/03/2022 13:58

No. I’m happy to give money, which I’ve done already. It wasn’t loads but we couldn’t put someone up unfortunately.

Arabellla · 07/03/2022 13:59

These threads always get posted and it's never followed up with a post by the OP saying they actually housed a refugee.

girlmom21 · 07/03/2022 14:00

I wouldn't because I have young children.

Don't you have to be able to give them a job as well as a home?

thepeopleversuswork · 07/03/2022 14:01

I would really like to do this but I don't have a spare room. Interested to hear if anyone else has an idea how to sponsor a refugee without actually accommodating them?

BottlingBurpsForGrandma · 07/03/2022 14:01

I won't, because the unfortunate reality is my own children come first. Safeguarding them and their mental and physical wellbeing will always be my priority.

I am very supportive of my family members in a different situation who want to do this, but I will not make my children compromise their comfort and safety so we can have traumatised individuals who do not share a first language in our home.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 07/03/2022 14:03

The government won't allow them to come here anyway!

SpanishPapers · 07/03/2022 14:03

I would consider it, yes. If anyone has any links for how one can register for this, I'd be very grateful.

BlackeyedSusan · 07/03/2022 14:07

Sponsoring them doesn't mean they live in your house. It means you are financially responsible for them if it all goes tits up for them financially

Ex sponsored someone but they supported themselves so we never had to pay out. Just be capable of paying out. (Potentially taking them in, paying medical bills etc)

Well that's what it meant 15 years or so ago.

shiningstar2 · 07/03/2022 14:14

We have a spare room and have thought of it but I think it would be too difficult. When you see the horror they are going through its all too easy to think ...of course ...come and crash at mine. It'll work ok but thinking it through I know the practicalities of the situation wouldn't work for me. Yes for a week at most...medium term ..how? I'm not a great cook and now there are just the two of us we cook when we feel like it. No proper routine. Would I cook for them? Would they like our food? Worse . Would they need the kitchen at separate times breakfast lunch and dinner? We have one bathroom.Would that work? Yes in an emergency I'd have just crossed a border as in Poland but not long term. Have contributed financially and would be up for a "befriending" service. Supporting English learning, finding their feet in our city, helping with official forms, inviting over for a meal but not staying.

Original poster
TheBeesKnee · 07/03/2022 14:27

@girlmom21

I wouldn't because I have young children.

Don't you have to be able to give them a job as well as a home?

Oh gosh, do you? Confused I didn't see that. Tbh the Gov website isn't very helpful, they're directing people to call a helpline. I don't want to call with stupid questions and be wasting everyone's time.
OP posts:
girlmom21 · 07/03/2022 14:29

I might have misunderstood but that's what I thought they said on the news.

It's worth giving them a call. They may not expect women with young children to work immediately.

Original poster
TheBeesKnee · 07/03/2022 14:30

@Arabellla

These threads always get posted and it's never followed up with a post by the OP saying they actually housed a refugee.
Maybe they're busy or it didn't actually happen. I promise to follow up in a month tops and let you know if we go ahead :)
OP posts:
Cognoscenti · 07/03/2022 14:33

Do they have to be in the same house as you? Or could you offer a rental for free?
We have some and would happily offer the latter (furnished) but maybe they're looking for families to host and feed refugees, in which case simply having accommodation wouldn't be much use.

x2boys · 07/03/2022 14:34

No ,we live in a small two bed house ,with an extremely vulnerable disabled child and we don't have any spare money ,everything is going up ,I don't see the point of these threads of course I feel extremely sorry for Ukrainian refugees,but like millions of other families in the UK we don't have any spare money .

WeirdlyKind · 07/03/2022 14:34

No- unfortunately I'm deeply uncomfortable with the idea of a stranger living with me (due to a sexual assault in my twenties).

I'm donating what I can in supplies and goods which is my limit.

Cognoscenti · 07/03/2022 14:35

@BlackeyedSusan

Sponsoring them doesn't mean they live in your house. It means you are financially responsible for them if it all goes tits up for them financially

Ex sponsored someone but they supported themselves so we never had to pay out. Just be capable of paying out. (Potentially taking them in, paying medical bills etc)

Well that's what it meant 15 years or so ago.

If this is the case then absolutely, I would sponsor at least one family.
Woollystockings · 07/03/2022 14:35

I too thought at the moment sponsorship meant for a job / and that job would have to be graduate level/on the shortage occupation list. And the government is only allowing those with relatives in the country anyway.

Helenahandkart · 07/03/2022 14:40

I’m considering offering up my spare room. I have UK-based Ukrainian friends so thought initially I would offer my spare room to them for their family if needed. I don’t know anything about the legalities of it, and wouldn’t be in a position to give them a job, but I could put a roof over their heads and share my somewhat limited resources with them.
One of my extended family members was a Kurdish refugee, and I spoke to her about her experience. It made me appreciate just how desperate people are, and how much we have in the UK in comparison.
I’m not sure how I would feel about housing a complete stranger, particularly a man though.

Original poster
TheBeesKnee · 07/03/2022 14:41

@x2boys

No ,we live in a small two bed house ,with an extremely vulnerable disabled child and we don't have any spare money ,everything is going up ,I don't see the point of these threads of course I feel extremely sorry for Ukrainian refugees,but like millions of other families in the UK we don't have any spare money .
What do you mean you don't see the point?

I want to help, I have some spare space, I'm asking whether other people have done this in the past, are doing it now, and if they have any insight or experience about the process.

This hinges on a lot of things: DP's input, what the process is actually like, e.g. do you get matched with a random family, how long are we expected to host, or as a PP said would it be purely a financial backing and they would never actually step foot into our house?

OP posts: