To ask to use the phone?

[LightingCandles]

I get a really good, half-price cheap deal with work on a SIM-only deal. We agreed I would go onto this SIM-only deal as it saves so much money. (Think about a tenner a month, no contract, unlimited everything)

I bought the SIM. Literally the same day, my phone stopped working.
I need a phone for work - think WhatsApp groups daily communications. This is non-negotiable. Work does not provide phones, everyone uses their own phone.

So I need a phone handset. I powered up an old phone we have. It is DC's old one, a huawei y6 (2019). Has gone through three DC, being factory reset each time but does have a cracked screen. It has WhatsApp, but doesn't do things like connect to my watch, I cannot download any apps at all as no space (so no parking app for example) Cannot use it to pay by card.

Due to being skint, we cannot buy me a new handset. See above re money saving.

DH has an old phone we managed to power up. It is an HTC one M8(2014). It is no better than the old one from the DC.

For comparison, DC1 has an iPhone they got as a birthday present. DC2 has a Samsung A41, again a present and DC3 has a hand-me-down Samsung.

DH however, has three phones. One for work. And two for personal use. One does not have a sim. He uses it when the other one needs to charge.

I asked to use the one without a sim. Apparently not ok, he doesn't want to give it up.

So I have to choose between a 2019 phone with no space, that barely does the minimum or a 2014 phone that is slower than slow.

AIBU to ask for the non-sim phone so I have a half-decent phone? Or is it rude as 1) I technically have a phone, 2)it does what I need (but not what I want) and 3) he still technically uses it.

Cos he did say he would prefer not to give it up. And I could use either of the other two old ones. And now I feel guilty.

He doesn't actually need the SIM-free one, so of course you get to use it. The preferences of someone who doesn't work do not trump the needs of someone who does. What would he do if you just took it?

Why can’t he just charge his phone if it’s got a low battery like everyone else - he can sit next to the charger

Are you a bit afraid of him op? Sounds a bit like you feel like you have to be careful about what you say to him.

He’s being ridiculous needing a spare phone so he Never has to deal with a battery going dead!

Is he getting any help with his depression and alcoholism?? Or does he just sit there all day on his phone drinking ?

So he can't be without tech for an hour while his phone charges?

Let him take the old phone as his spare one. You take the 2020 one.

Make sure he turns his phone to airplane mode while it charges so it charges much faster.

Your husband has been massively unreasonable.

If he barely leaves the house there’s no need for his phone to die - he can have it on charge before then.

He can still watch YouTube on his phone whilst it’s charging.

Given that’s the sum total of what he’ll be using it for and you need a decent phone for work he can get a grip

@Grilledaubergines

2 for personal use? Unless he’s dealing drugs or dick, he has no need for 2.

I know people are dealing in drugs (because it's been highlighted on Dixon of Dock Green) - but dick? How does that work? Is wrapped in silver paper? or clingfilm? Is it sold by weight or length? So many questions...

Presumably he doesn’t need the work one either at the moment for work so he can watch YouTube on that one.

I’m this is even a question!

Others have said it but if he rarely leaves the house, he doesn't need 2 phones. (Even if he did leave the house he doesn't need 2 phones).

He uses it for watching YouTube, the battery gets low, he plugs it in and continues watching you tube, or whatever else he is doing on it. No need for a 2nd phone.

If he's just sitting about the house all the time, go one better, it stays plugged in all the time, then it will never go low or run out. Then he can stop messing about with an old spare phone with no SIM. Buy a longer cable, he can plug it in wherever he sits.

So he doesn't work! He can therefore figure out when to charge his phone. Omg

What a selfish cunt. Do you like this man? I can't imagine anyone I know being that selfish

I'd be asking my husband why he is happy to inconvenience me by having to use a crappy phone with no apps, while he has a spare to use while one is charging?
And i would be thinking up a way to inconvenience him that was no skin off my nose just to piss him off

Yes DH should give you one of his phones!
But - are you aware of the whatsapp desktop app OP?

Get him a portable charger and take the spare phone. Next new phone purchase In the household is for you. No excuses.

This is just insane. There are obviously massive issues here (along with the fact he’s a selfish arsehole for needing 3 phones and not allowing you).

He's being a nob

Why can’t he use the old one your meant to be using as the one he uses when his needs charging? Then you’ve both got a newish one, he’s still got a ‘spare’ and everyone would be happy?

Your work can’t make you use WhatsApp etc without providing you with a phone. Trust me on this. DH refuses to even download the app because they can make you use your personal property for work and they can make you reply to messages outside your working hours.

It’s not really your DHs problem.

It’s hard to get the confidence to ask for basic benefits or rights at work to be respected but I suspect if you explain your personal phone is broken and you can’t afford a new one they will have to just sort out a new contract including a phone etc

You can also buy a 2 metre cable so phone is easier to use when charging.

hmm you require one for work purposes - you take priority over his needing charging - I mean really - charge overnight like everyone else ffs and if it needs charging more than once a day what the fuck is he doing with it

He’s a colossal wanker.

You need a phone for work. Presumably as you’re the only one working you’re paying for the household at the moment. He does not need three phones to sit around the house being a colossal wanker.

He uses it to connect to the internet and watch youtube when his other phone dies.

If he barely leaves the house , or even the bed, why does his phone run out of charge? Get him a longer cable or a power bock that he can carry around to charge his phone.

Simples.

Being depressed or drinking to excess is no reason to hog other resources like a phone.

Can you ask family or friends for an old phone?

OP you seem to have disappeared? I appreciate that you aren't happy with people suggesting he may be having an affair, although when a man has a second phone, let alone a third one, it really is what springs to most women's minds. I also understand that for whatever reason you don't want to rock the boat at work. However, why haven't you answered the question about what would your OH do if you just took one of his phones? Are you scared of him? This relationship just doesn't sound normal to me, especially as he's not even working at the moment, so there really is NO reason why he needs the third phone, and if it makes your life just a little bit easier, then surely as your OH he should be forcing you to take it, rather than clinging on for grim death. I suggest you ask yourself why he's not doing that, and then give some serious thought as to whether you really want to continue in a relationship with someone so incredibly selfish.

I think you should insist. Most people cope with one personal phone and just charge it before it dies. He’s being unnecessarily rude and unreasonable.

Could there be something on there that he doesn't want to risk you to seeing? Websites he's been visiting/videos he's been watching that he's scared of being uncovered? I genuinely can't think of anything other reasons he would refuse if its not drugs or an affair?