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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I am going to be starving at this wedding?

795 replies

Aztecprint6 · 06/03/2022 16:23

Wedding breakfast is at 4:30pm.

Evening food will be wedding cake and some cheese.

AIBU to think I am going to have to bring along a sandwich and some late night snacks?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 08/03/2022 20:01

What you’ve missed @LimeSegment is not all wedding three course meals are actually filling, especially if you’re a veggie.

Fluffycloudland77 · 08/03/2022 20:05

@Aztecprint6 If you use a food flask you can take something hot incase the weathers chilly on the day.

Fluffycloudland77 · 08/03/2022 20:14

The last wedding dh dragged me to had one hog roast bap with some stuffing. No gravy OR applesauce or plate. And wedding cake. Which I couldn’t have as I have a cows milk allergy.

One bap each from waiters and they were floury so it went everywhere. It rained so they did an “indoor hog roast” which tasted just like cheap foreign pork slow cooked.

We were evening only guests so just normal meals all day assuming there would be more than one bap each or salad or side orders. I kept myself going on the kids sweet cart sweets. Then I got home and the cat refused to come in as it was midnight and I’d ruined his routine by not being there at 9pm sharp to dispense treats.

Dh is banned from accepting wedding invites now.

LimeSegment · 08/03/2022 20:16

PurpleDaisies I haven't missed anything, yes wedding meals vary in how filling they are, but out of canapes, three courses, cheese course, cake and drinks, everyone is going to find something they can eat. No one is going to be starving/shaking/fainting. Saying you will be is just pure greed.

PurpleDaisies · 08/03/2022 20:18

No one is going to be starving/shaking/fainting.

How do you know? You know everyone’s appetite? You know what all wedding venues serve? You know the timeline of every wedding day?

That’s a very arrogant position to take.

LimeSegment · 08/03/2022 20:18

Then I got home and the cat refused to come in as it was midnight and I’d ruined his routine by not being there at 9pm sharp to dispense treats.

Dh is banned from accepting wedding invites now.

Confused
BobMortimersPetOwl · 08/03/2022 20:20

I don't really understand why people are trying to compare food to flowers.

It's perfectly standard to remember how something made us feel. So we don't remember the centrepieces or whether the chairs had bows on them, but we remember laughing or feeling bad.

Feeling hungry isn't a pleasant feeling, so of course you'd naturally remember not enjoying the wedding if the food was lacking.

And yes the day is about the bride and groom. But they're hosting people, and therefore the comfort and enjoyment of their guests should be their priority.

backinthebox · 08/03/2022 20:20

Mmm, cheese!

to think I am going to be starving at this wedding?
LimeSegment · 08/03/2022 20:22

How do you know? You know everyone’s appetite? You know what all wedding venues serve? You know the timeline of every wedding day?

That’s a very arrogant position to take.

Not really, even without knowing all that, I can confidently say that no one will starve at a wedding in the UK today. Absolutely no one will go in their normal self and crawl out 4.5 hours later skin and bone needing medical attention.

backinthebox · 08/03/2022 20:23

Can’t quite work out whether that should serve 10 or 12 wedding guests. What do you reckon - would it stretch to 12? Or should there be fish and chips at 10pm and bacon butties at midnight, with a fry-up at around 3am for those still dancing? To mop up the alcohol, you know?

Baconandmaplesyrup · 08/03/2022 20:23

@BobMortimersPetOwl

I don't really understand why people are trying to compare food to flowers.

It's perfectly standard to remember how something made us feel. So we don't remember the centrepieces or whether the chairs had bows on them, but we remember laughing or feeling bad.

Feeling hungry isn't a pleasant feeling, so of course you'd naturally remember not enjoying the wedding if the food was lacking.

And yes the day is about the bride and groom. But they're hosting people, and therefore the comfort and enjoyment of their guests should be their priority.

Honestly no I don’t remember feeling hungry ages later. Being hungry isn’t like an illness, it’s ok to feel hungry. And most people don’t feel hungry after a five course meal.
PurpleDaisies · 08/03/2022 20:24

What exactly do you find so objectionable about someone deciding to take extra food in case they still hungry?
The other issue is alcohol. If you have only been served a small meal, you can find yourself absolutely wasted.

PurpleDaisies · 08/03/2022 20:24

Being hungry isn’t like an illness, it’s ok to feel hungry.

But who wants to feel hungry at a wedding? It’s a special occasion. It’s not day to day eating which is what makes you fat or not.

MayLeaveADentInYourSofa · 08/03/2022 20:31

We had this timing at our wedding.

Ceremony at 3. Three course meal starting at 4.30/5. Light evening buffet.

When I booked it I had assumed that everyone would have lunch before they came but apparently guests were hungry during the afternoon, then the 3 course meal did not fill them enough and the buffet later was too little.

abeanbaked · 08/03/2022 20:35

I don’t eat cheese or cake, so I’d be taking my own food.

Do people actually do this? I would never take my own snacks to a wedding. Assuming there will be canapés and you are capable of making yourself a decent breakfast. A three course meal, cake and cheese (I'm assuming it's a cheeseboard with biscuits aswell) is more than enough fgs.

Why do MN'ers take their own food to weddings out of fear at starving to death but will feed a family of 5 for a week on one medium chicken?

EeeICouldRipATissue · 08/03/2022 20:37

What you’ve missed @LimeSegment is not all wedding three course meals are actually filling, especially if you’re a veggie

Exactiy - in some cases the main course is literally just some variation of vegetable.

EeeICouldRipATissue · 08/03/2022 20:37

Bold fail

PurpleDaisies · 08/03/2022 20:37

Why does it matter to you if others take snacks @abeanbaked? It doesn’t affect you in the slightest.

Look how many times you’ve said “I assume”. The problem comes when there aren’t canapés, or the food is tiny, or late, or horrible. Lots of us have been caught out before.

Justgettingbye · 08/03/2022 20:39

Adults having to take snacks and bags of food to a wedding is bizarre

PurpleDaisies · 08/03/2022 20:44

@Justgettingbye

Adults having to take snacks and bags of food to a wedding is bizarre
Why? It’s a long time when you’re not in control of what, when or how much you’re eating and there’s likely to be a lot of alcohol flowing.
abeanbaked · 08/03/2022 21:04

@PurpleDaisies because unless said adults are diabetic or have some other medical condition where they cannot be allowed to feel a single hunger pang, there really is no need. If OP has a decent breakfast then I don't see why a full wedding breakfast, cheese and cake is an unsubstantial amount of food.

PurpleDaisies · 08/03/2022 21:09

And round and round and round we go again.

This thread is clearly divided into people who have been to under catered weddings and those who haven’t.

abeanbaked · 08/03/2022 21:11

@PurpleDaisies

And round and round and round we go again.

This thread is clearly divided into people who have been to under catered weddings and those who haven’t.

Well yes, this is AIBU. It's usually between those who think the OP is BU and those who don't..have you done this before?
Roussette · 08/03/2022 21:13

I have been to hundreds of weddings in my time (I'm old Grin), and thank goodness I've never ever seen anyone get food out of their handbag and start noshing. Maybe they go outside and do it or something. I would find it totally bizarre. And rude to be honest.

And I've never heard anyone whinge at the table about being hungry either.

It must be an MN thing... bit like boiling your towels after they've touched your skin once. Or not answering the phone or door ever.

Roussette · 08/03/2022 21:15

This thread is clearly divided into people who have been to under catered weddings and those who haven’t

I probably have. Wracking my brains here...

I just don't dwell on it. I just enjoy the wedding for what it is.