to think I am going to be starving at this wedding?

[Aztecprint6]

Wedding breakfast is at 4:30pm.

Evening food will be wedding cake and some cheese.

AIBU to think I am going to have to bring along a sandwich and some late night snacks?

The obsession with food sums up why we have an obesity issue in this country.

If I'd eaten a 3-course meal between 4.30-6pm that would be me done for the day? Bar a small snack maybe - so what they've suggested (cheese and cake) sounds perfectly adequate. Assuming you've had breakfast and lunch too...People need to give their heads a wobble.

It may be the most important day to the B&G but to the guests, who will all be extremely happy for B&G, it's an all day party / celebration and that requires decent amount of food to keep the good times rolling

I think you’ve made it very clear, that a starter, a main, a dessert, likely bread basket, tea and coffee, then wedding cake and a cheese board in five hours for you personally is not a decent amount of food and you’d be so hungry you would need to leave.

I think everyone accepts that. But I think you also need to accept for many other people this is a lot of food and more than decent.

@Baconandmaplesyrup 5 hours? Most weddings are 12 hours. Service through to end of reception midday to midnight.

Quite frankly everyone saying that guests should be grateful to attend blah blah blah are clearly just not that bothered about guest comfort so, whatever. Just know that however lovely the flowers are, grand the venue is, your day will likely be remembered for the wrong reasons. It is what it is.

Yeah but you'd eat lunch before you went @anotherheadache wouldn't you? What @Baconandmaplesyrup is talking about is the food you're getting from 4.30pm onwards which seems plentiful by anyone's standards.

@CornishGem1975

The obsession with food sums up why we have an obesity issue in this country.

If I'd eaten a 3-course meal between 4.30-6pm that would be me done for the day? Bar a small snack maybe - so what they've suggested (cheese and cake) sounds perfectly adequate. Assuming you've had breakfast and lunch too...People need to give their heads a wobble.

Yep. If a 3 course meal followed by cheese a few hours later isn't enough for someone, they have serious problems.

So if you have a big breakfast/lunch before you get there, and eat a three course meal at 5pm (by the time it gets served etc.), do you think you'll need more than a bit of cheese in the evening? That's way more than I normally eat in a day!!

Plus cake. Don’t forget the cake.
It all sounds plenty to me.

@anotherheadache At my wedding I will be bothered about guests comfort of course, they will be made very comfortable. But what I won’t do is go to lots of lengths and expense to pander to a minority of guest’s gluttony . Sorry not sorry.

Gluttony
Stodge
Massive
Serious problems
Sloshed

Think we should start a bingo card of how many different dramatic adjectives and phrases we can get on this thread
Have we had gobble, face stuffing, ginormous yet?

@EeeICouldRipATissue

Gluttony Stodge Massive Serious problems Sloshed

Think we should start a bingo card of how many different dramatic adjectives and phrases we can get on this thread
Have we had gobble, face stuffing, ginormous yet?

And then on some other thread someone will argue that there is 'competitive undereating on MN' and when I ask for proof, they'll bring up this thread lol.

@LuckySantangelo35 if you're considering guest comfort and providing food then job done. There a big difference between having hungry guests and 'catering for gluttony'. If you are scrimping on the food for the 'best quality flowers'... well be prepared that people will, whether you like it or not, when reminiscing about your day, not remember the flowers but will remember if they were hungry. I don't understand how you don't see there is a difference between providing snacks and providing a too much food. You seem very sensitive and defensive. I'm wondering if it's touched a nerve about your own wedding? I don't give a shit either way 🤷‍♀️

@anotherheadache lol I’m not married as yet.
What you seem to be forgetting is that in the instance the Op describes the bride and groom are providing snacks and pretty substantial snacks at that! A cheese course whatever that entails and cake! Following what will likely have been a three course wedding breakfast a couple of hours beforehand. How is that neglecting guests comfort? Surely you want them comfortable and sated rather than stuffed full?

well be prepared that people will, whether you like it or not, when reminiscing about your day, not remember the flowers but will remember if they were hungry

Yes, I couldn't even begin to tell you what the flowers looked like at the weddings I've been to over the years, I can barely even remember what flowers my own were
People don't often remember your colour scheme or what flowers you had on the tables/ pews etc

@EeeICouldRipATissue

Gluttony Stodge Massive Serious problems Sloshed

Think we should start a bingo card of how many different dramatic adjectives and phrases we can get on this thread
Have we had gobble, face stuffing, ginormous yet?

But there are two sides right, the terms shit, crap, stingy etc have all been used as well.

When people cater they need to cater to the majority and be overly generous, because it’s a celebration and food is part of that, and which this five courses undoubtedly is over generous in comparison to most peoples evening meals.

Most people do not normally eat a starter, main, dessert, bread, cheeseboard and then cake between 5pm and 9pm on a daily basis. For some people it’s simply not enough food though, and for those, instead of slagging it off and declaring everyone would need to leave as they’d be so hungry, it’s maybe best to understand thay your need for food is higher than others and as such bring your own additional substantial meals to supplement the five courses on offer.

If hosts catered to the extreme at either end, those who eat very little or those who ate an awful lot, then they would have a massive over or under catering issue on their hands.

@LuckySantangelo35 in my very first post on this thread I stated "unless there are bread and meats to go with it then just cheese won't be enough'. You are assuming that it's going to be like a ploughman's lunch with all the extras, but you don't know that. If it is literally cheese and crackers then many people wouldn't find that enough no.

The wider conversation of the thread then went onto evening food, with many people giving examples of weddings being ruined as a a guest due to lack of food.

For most women they won't have lunch before going as they will be getting ready, hair makeup nice clothes.. I don't each lunch once I'm dressed up and ready to go, so usually weddings are a long day of little food. Until the wedding breakfast. Although 3 courses they are rarely big portions. Enough to satisfy for a few hours but definitely not enough to still be full in the evening, especially after drinking. I just don't understand what you don't comprehend?

No they won’t be “big” portions. They will be normal correct sized portions in terms of what’s advised, which should be very sufficient for most people, as there is three courses in the main meal alone, but at either end of the scale for sone it will be too much food and others not enough.

But you’re right, no it won’t be “ big portions” nor should it be.

[quote anotherheadache]@LuckySantangelo35 in my very first post on this thread I stated "unless there are bread and meats to go with it then just cheese won't be enough'. You are assuming that it's going to be like a ploughman's lunch with all the extras, but you don't know that. If it is literally cheese and crackers then many people wouldn't find that enough no.

The wider conversation of the thread then went onto evening food, with many people giving examples of weddings being ruined as a a guest due to lack of food.

For most women they won't have lunch before going as they will be getting ready, hair makeup nice clothes.. I don't each lunch once I'm dressed up and ready to go, so usually weddings are a long day of little food. Until the wedding breakfast. Although 3 courses they are rarely big portions. Enough to satisfy for a few hours but definitely not enough to still be full in the evening, especially after drinking. I just don't understand what you don't comprehend? [/quote]
Even if I'm getting ready for a large formal event, I'll still eat at least once if I know the first meal served will be at 4. Even with a hair appointment and an outfit crisis. It's reasonable for the hosts to assume that guests will arrive having eaten.

3 "small" portions (let's conservatively estimate a salad, salmon with sides, and a small dessert) is still a substantial evening meal to a person with a healthy diet. Especially knowing there will be cake and cheese later in the evening.

So frustrating to live in a culture where adults complain if their guts aren't constantly being stuffed. Makes me nervous to host any kind of event myself if this is the expectation and reaction.

@anotherheadache if my guests felt the wedding had been “ruined” because there wasn’t a constant stream of big portions of food coming their way I’d probably be reevaluating my relationship with them to be honest!

Not the bride and groom’s problem if you don’t eat brunch/lunch before coming. And you’re right, “big” portions are not usually served, it’s a wedding usually a la carte type cuisine not a Hungry Horse pub or Harvester! 🤣

@EeeICouldRipATissue But what about the bride and groom will remember? They might remember the flowers and it is their day after all!

Only the really food obsessed people would have the food at a wedding ranking in their most profound memories of the day. When I think back to the weddings I’ve been to I have loads of memories but the food isn’t really up there in terms of what instantly springs to mind when I think back on them

Why on earth can't anyone get ready for a wedding and eat? If I wanted to, I'd be making myself a sandwich or whatever, then put make up on, get dressed. Then off we go to the wedding.

It's all irrelevant really bcause I'm not obsessed with food at a wedding. Just feed me something, I'm fine with that. I can barely remember what I was served at various weddings, I was too busy concentrating on catching up with friends and rellies, thinking how great the band was, dancing, drinking, having fun.

But what about the bride and groom will remember? They might remember the flowers and it is their day after all!
Yes, the bride and groom might remember more.
This thread's more about from the guests point of view though?
As in guests aren't likely to care or notice how many flowers are on the table, they do remember how comfortable/fun the wedding is though.

@EeeICouldRipATissue you can be comfortable and have fun without endless “big portions” of food all evening though

I always make sure to have something to eat right as we are getting ready for a wedding because there is often a long lag until food. I aim for something bland that I know will sit well, that requires little prep or can be acquired easily, like a plain turkey sandwich.

@EeeICouldRipATissue also, the thread might be about a guests perspective but for me when I’m a guest a wedding I know I’m not the most important person there and my perspective is that I will be fitting in with the bride and groom and their day/schedule not the other way round

Yes as much as I like my food, it’s never been the most memorable thing for me at a wedding, but it’s clear for some how much they get fed is a key factor into how good the wedding is.

I also don’t understand the concept of most women won’t eat if they are doing their hair and make up. I am capable of eating during this time and every single woman I know is.

If you know dinner is at 4.30/5 then you should eat in advance.

I think sone just personal idiosyncrasies arising, like I don’t eat if I’m getting ready and I need very large quatities of food later or I intend to drink so so much alcohol I need extreme quantities of food to soak it up, or I don’t eat during the day so need large quantities at night, or I dance so much that I need huge portions to be able to keep going.

These are all fine, as is an individual thinking the key memorable part of a wedding is the shee quantity of food they can have , but I don’t think it’s ok to expect hosts to excessively cater due to these behaviours.