My partners sister got married two years ago and I was surprised that I was not asked to be a bridesmaid for her as we get on well and her only sibling is my partner but I still helped out with wedding planning and attended hen do, etc. I asked her to be my bridesmaid despite this as I thought it was a nice thing to do for my partners family to get them involved and like I said we do get on well.
We get married in 3 months. We have been planning the hen do for a while and it was her idea that we should try bongo bingo as she has been before and completely sold the idea to me but the date are only realised 1 or 2 months before. We have been checking to see when it is available constantly. The dates are now available but she has planned to go on holiday for the entire month before our wedding so we can't have the hen do then. I gave her three dates the month before and she said she was busy for all three of them. She has arranged to go on a hen do on the Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the end of May in Manchester for a girl who has also asked her to be a bridesmaid. This girl has got several bridesmaids and my bridesmaid has only known her for a year. She is the girlfriend of the my bridesmaids partners friend and doesn't live anywhere near us so they rarely see each other, they aren't close and from what I gather they don't know each other that well, I may be jumping to conclusions but from what i can gather she has only been asked to be a bridesmaid as her partner us best man.
Anyway I am now having my hen do in Manchester the same weekend as it is the only date available. I told her and she said she might see me around. I was expecting her to try and find some middle ground and maybe spend a couple of days with her friend then meet up with us on the Sunday considering she will be in the same city? Her stance is that it is first come first serve and since her 'friend' planned her hen do first she will be spending the whole weekend with her. She said I should have arranged my hen do sooner but she knows that the dates for the bingo are only released a couple of months in advance. She hasn't apologised or even said she is sad that she will be missing my hen do.
Really I am gutted that she won't be there and I am upset that she seems unbothered about it or unwilling to try and work something out. I am so annoyed that I feel like telling her to not bothering being my bridesmaid as she has done nothing to contribute and doesn't seem bothered.
Am I being over the top? Should I be feeling this upset about it?