A friend who I used to be close with, think contact every few days etc. has made it clear ( almost three years ago ). That she didn't wish for the friendship to continue in that kind of way.
She's had a lot going on and so have I. But the retreat definitely came from her. She made it clear she wants to talk only once in a while and just be cordial. Rather than actually meet etc. it really stung, not going to lie.
We have a lot of mutual friends and have seen each other at weddings a couple of times and always been very polite to each other and happy to catch up.
For some reason I don't have her on Instagram anymore but I can see she still likes a lot of mutual friends pics etc and sees people we have in common occasionally. I'm never invited, however I always invite her when I see mutual friends. It's very rare though that I or her see our mutual friends. But it just feels hostile to me, not to invite her to reunions etc. the things she's planned with mutual friends aren't really reunion type things. More like staying together to attend weddings we are all invited to. I'm making this distinction to say that there's never been a time she has invited everyone in a reunion type setting and left me out of it. Neither have I. I have invited her and she's not been able to make it. ( so she says ).
Anyway, it still stings. It's been nearly 3 years and we occasionally talk, but she keeps me massively at arms length. I don't like this dynamic. It hurts me and makes me feel rejected every time.
Can I just leave it now ? Or do I need to accept the 'friendship' the way she wants it to be ? I'll always be happy to see her when I do, say at a wedding. But other than that, I don't really want to write to her anymore and I don't want to invite her to things she never comes to, just out of some obligation - when she's made it clear she doesn't want to be a close friend to me anymore.