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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to use a normal light switch that I can turn on or off easily

91 replies

Enidcat5 · 04/03/2022 06:51

My husband is very tech savvy, he was very keen when we bought our first house to put in technology to 'makes things easier'. The problem is that I don't agree that it's making things easier, as everything seems more difficult to do.

There are smart plugs and wireless switches everywhere. Aside from the fact that I think they look awful (they are the white plastic ikea ones) and don't fit with our 1890 style house (it has lots of period features that I love) I am increasingly frustrated with how much harder these switches and systems make simple tasks.

This morning I went to put the dining room light on, so I pressed the normal wall switch. Nothing happened. I then see one of these smart switches on the table. He's programmed it to 'dim' the lights in the room so now I have to find the portable light switch each time I want to turn on or off the light. I have small children so there's no way this switch will stay where its meant to be. Also it's the room we use for working and kids homework plus meals, so I don't understand why we'd want to dim the light.

My hallway is dark so I have to put on a light to put kids shoes on to leave for nursery and school in the morning. We're always in a hurry. But to put light on I usually have to try at least 2 times to get the flipping smart switch to work, as its stiff and also for some reason they decided to make these things so they stick to the wall holder with a magnet. The amount of times it flies off when I'm rushing and I then have to hunt on the floor for it. It adds stress to the proceedings. There are also 2 of them and I inevitably pick the wrong one, so end up having to do the dropping and retrieving process twice.

My husband's reasoning is that it's useful to be able to dim the lights (we have soft lamps which could be used instead, or we could just use a dimmer?) and we can turn lights on and off from our phones. I don't understand the point of this. I'm walking past the light switch as I leave the room, I don't want to have to get my phone out to turn the bloody thing off when I can just point my finger at it and press. I get the interest in dimming but there are dimmer switches that look a whole lot nicer than these things and are much easier to use.

I want to get rid of them. I have said this several times and he's ignoring me. I've said it again this morning and he's in a huff. I am at the point of screaming.

Aibu?

OP posts:

heyitsthistle · 04/03/2022 06:56

YANBU! Just call out an electrician to change your light switch for a dimmer switch. This would drive me insane. I also don't carry my phone around everywhere!

I'm in the process of dumbing down our house. We had "smart" radiator valves which couldn't connect to the internet, so we had no control over our heating for months.

rifling · 04/03/2022 07:04

YANBU at all! That would drive me crazy.

KindlyKanga · 04/03/2022 07:08

How ridiculous! I'm with you whats wrong with just flicking a switch. It's so much easier than finding the app on your phone or whatever.

ThisIsGroundControl · 04/03/2022 07:08

Yanbu, do they only work when the Internet is working?

KindlyKanga · 04/03/2022 07:08

How are the kids going to use it as they get older?

EffOrfagain · 04/03/2022 07:09

YANBU, turning stuff on with your phone is only useful if you are not in the house so pretty pointless really for everyday life.

ManxRhyme · 04/03/2022 07:11

Scream and rage then tell him to fucking change them back. You are being too reasonable.

lurkingattheback · 04/03/2022 07:15

We have a few wi-if enabled lights and other tech and I agree finding my phone and using it to turn them on/off is a faff, but they are connected up to Apple home and Alexa. This means I just say, Siri turn off the bedroom light, Alexa turn up the heating. Great when I'm lying in bed.

Original poster

Enidcat5 · 04/03/2022 07:18

@ManxRhyme

Scream and rage then tell him to fucking change them back. You are being too reasonable.

This was my initial thought! And then I thought perhaps I'm being unreasonable as it's his home too. But it's been building up in my brain and now I'm just done.

OP posts:

Original poster

Enidcat5 · 04/03/2022 07:19

@lurkingattheback

I agree! But none of these are connected to a system like siri or alexa.

OP posts:

GeneLovesJezebel · 04/03/2022 07:19

@ManxRhyme

Scream and rage then tell him to fucking change them back. You are being too reasonable.

I agree. It’s your house too.

Original poster

Enidcat5 · 04/03/2022 07:20

@KindlyKanga

How are the kids going to use it as they get older?

You can still press the light switch but they are very stiff and if you apply pressure at wrong angle they fall off.

OP posts:

Joystir59 · 04/03/2022 07:21

He is playing games with your house tech, like a child. Call an electrician and have the lot of it removed, and tell him to stop being such a knob. Be assertive FFS! It's your house and home too.

WingingIt101 · 04/03/2022 07:27

Yanbu.

I think my husband and yours might be related. Mine is also obsessed with making us talk to the fucking house and it drives me mad. Thankfully he’s done ours with switches on the walls but if the internet cuts all the sodding lights go off and then you have to do some stupid switch on then off then on again routine to reset them.

He first installed them when I was 36 weeks pregnant with our first and I despised them. So much so I cried in the kitchen one night “I don’t want to talk to the fucking house I just want to know when I click a light switch it’ll come on”
He changed them back for a period and we eventually agreed a compromise.

I still bloody hate them though. You have my sympathy.

hanketypankety · 04/03/2022 07:27

Are you me??! my DH is like this and it drives me insane. He will stand there and say for Siri to turn on the living room lamp...in the time it's taken him to do that he could've just flipped the switch that he's stood right next to. Also, like you, I will go to turn on a light through the switch but nothing happens and I have to keep flipping it (whilst waiting a few seconds) for it to register that I'm doing it manually. A whole lot of time wasting. I also feel a knob for standing in a room and talking to my house.

Original poster

Enidcat5 · 04/03/2022 07:29

@Joystir59

He is playing games with your house tech, like a child. Call an electrician and have the lot of it removed, and tell him to stop being such a knob. Be assertive FFS! It's your house and home too.

I am assertive! He has complained that I am being unreasonable, hence the post to ask if anyone thinks I am. My next step is getting a screwdriver and then binning the bloody things!

OP posts:

AlwaysFireFighting · 04/03/2022 07:29

This would drive me fucking mental. My DH tried to insist we always play the radio through the Sonos speaker, which involves walkimg to wherever a phone or tablet has been left, unlocking it, scrolling to BBC Sounds app, finding correct station and clicking play.

I insisted on keeping my radio where it is thanks. Right next to meal prep area. One button to switch it on, and already preset to my preferred station.

Currently trialling smart radiator valves to save money by not heating upstairs whenever downstairs is heated. Sometimes my son's doesn't connect to internet and he wakes up in a freezing cold room.

Original poster

Enidcat5 · 04/03/2022 07:29

@Joystir59

He is playing games with your house tech, like a child. Call an electrician and have the lot of it removed, and tell him to stop being such a knob. Be assertive FFS! It's your house and home too.

Also yes to the child bit. Very much agree

OP posts:

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/03/2022 07:31

Sounds like a bloke thing to me - the love of gadgets, whether they’re more of a PITA to use or not.

What’s wrong with a dimmer switch? We’ve had those in 2 downstairs rooms for decades.

I suspect that’s also the reason why my washing machine has 14 zillion programmes, instead of the few that I actually use - but not the ‘just spin’ function I really do want now and then. Designed by men, for sure.

MaryLennoxsScowl · 04/03/2022 07:32

Oh god, my DH did this too, without explaining to me first that I’d need to download an app to use the bloody lights. My phone had stopped downloading apps as it was old and shit, so every time I needed the lights on I had to message him at work and tell him to put them on from his phone!!

Debroglie · 04/03/2022 07:34

Oh god I have a very similar issue.
Dh has put all the lamps on this WiFi system and sometimes I’m sitting reading and the lights will all just turn off and I’m plunged into darkness. I have mentioned that this happens and dh just mutters something about fixing the timings and nothing changes.
The heating also seemingly randomly switches on and off. The other day I was home alone and doing some cleaning so I opened all the windows to air the house and after a while realised that the heating had clicked on.
Dh has a weird control thing and is totally egocentric so I’m not going to fight about it but I do feel your pain.

EffOrfagain · 04/03/2022 07:35

We have both Siri and Alexa and both are limited use as you seem to have to say the exact phrase or they don't know what you are on about, Alexa thing is particularly useless. Hive seems ok as long as it is not connected to Alexa which seemed overly complicated to set up in the first place, Alexa's use is really limited to setting alarms, asking it to play a particular piece of music seems to be a step too far, Siri does manage this ok though. Getting these OP will probably not help much

Debroglie · 04/03/2022 07:38

I should have said that the heating is also controlled by his app as are the bloody speakers.
I’m going to buy myself a little battery-powered radio just so I can listen to radio 4 when I’m at home despite us having fancy Bose speakers in every room because I don’t know how to use them!
It’s like dc is living in the future and I’m off back to the 70s!

Debroglie · 04/03/2022 07:39

Dh not dc

GiantSweetcorn · 04/03/2022 07:39

It sounds more to me like he's bought rubbish smart products than the issue is actually with having smart products...

We have Lightwave switches and they are absolutely fine - the switches work as normal on the wall, no pinging off, no ruining routines, no lights going haywire if the internet cuts out, or anything like that. But I can also do it from my phone, and can tell Alexa to do it for me if my hands are full. We have also set it up to be able to say things like "Alexa we're leaving" and all the lights in the house go off, rather than coming home to find a stray bedroom light has been on all day because a child rushed back for a jumper and turned every light on on the way. I thought it was all wholly unnecessary but genuinely use it a lot now.

I don't think you're unreasonable at all for being furious with your awful sounding set up - and that needs to go - but there are better options.

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