To want to use a normal light switch that I can turn on or off easily

[Enidcat5]

My husband is very tech savvy, he was very keen when we bought our first house to put in technology to 'makes things easier'. The problem is that I don't agree that it's making things easier, as everything seems more difficult to do.

There are smart plugs and wireless switches everywhere. Aside from the fact that I think they look awful (they are the white plastic ikea ones) and don't fit with our 1890 style house (it has lots of period features that I love) I am increasingly frustrated with how much harder these switches and systems make simple tasks.

This morning I went to put the dining room light on, so I pressed the normal wall switch. Nothing happened. I then see one of these smart switches on the table. He's programmed it to 'dim' the lights in the room so now I have to find the portable light switch each time I want to turn on or off the light. I have small children so there's no way this switch will stay where its meant to be. Also it's the room we use for working and kids homework plus meals, so I don't understand why we'd want to dim the light.

My hallway is dark so I have to put on a light to put kids shoes on to leave for nursery and school in the morning. We're always in a hurry. But to put light on I usually have to try at least 2 times to get the flipping smart switch to work, as its stiff and also for some reason they decided to make these things so they stick to the wall holder with a magnet. The amount of times it flies off when I'm rushing and I then have to hunt on the floor for it. It adds stress to the proceedings. There are also 2 of them and I inevitably pick the wrong one, so end up having to do the dropping and retrieving process twice.

My husband's reasoning is that it's useful to be able to dim the lights (we have soft lamps which could be used instead, or we could just use a dimmer?) and we can turn lights on and off from our phones. I don't understand the point of this. I'm walking past the light switch as I leave the room, I don't want to have to get my phone out to turn the bloody thing off when I can just point my finger at it and press. I get the interest in dimming but there are dimmer switches that look a whole lot nicer than these things and are much easier to use.

I want to get rid of them. I have said this several times and he's ignoring me. I've said it again this morning and he's in a huff. I am at the point of screaming.

Aibu?

@AgentJohnson

You both sound ridiculous and entrenched in your views. Set up a motion detector, programme your lights etc. There is a compromise to be found but it appears neither of you want to reach it.

Who rattled your cage this morning? I've already spoken to him about it reasonably, he disagrees. I'm asking for opinions on whether I'm being unreasonable. That's the absolute contradiction of 'entrenched in my views'. Go and have your ready brek, you sound awfy hangry.

@MMAMPWGHAP

100% with you OP. My husband has put some in too (but mainly in areas I don’t use much). My objections include: Harder to use, especially in the dark. Losing the remote. On a light fitting with 3 bulbs sometimes they get out of sync and only 2 come on. Eco nightmare, all that extra plastic and batteries.

He’s used some colour changing bulbs but as he’s colour blind can’t see that even set to white they do match the other bulbs and look absurd.
Hilariously he’s recently redecorated his office and I note has reverted to the manual light switch. I’ve not gloated but am obvs very pleased.

What happens when your Wi-Fi is down?

I can press the switch if WiFi down but then what's the point of the extra switch. Your objections sound very much like mine.

I'm the tech geek in our household. DH humours me so long as the solution is at least as easy for him to use as before and things work reliably.

We have these light switches

https://wifi-smart-home.co.uk/smart-switches/smart-wifi-light-switches/pure-glass-wifi-smart-light-switches/

He can use them as a normal switch.

In addition they 'glow in the dark' so easy to find and they can be controlled though Alexa and my phone.

No going downstairs again if someone has left a light on. Last thing at night I can turn off all the lights in one go. When we are away, the lights can come on as usual so the house looks occupied.

Alexa does need to know the names of things but things can be grouped together so that ' kitchen lights on ' turns on the lights we use when cooking. 'Let there be light' turns on every light in the house. 'Lights out, no talking' turns everything off.

It's not really the technology you are complaining about, it's the implementation you have which makes all the difference.

@LadyRoughDiamond

YANBU - are you sure you’re not married to my husband?! I’ve had to switch the shower off four times this morning because the internet decided that it should be on. Most smart home tech has an option to go back to manual settings - I’m quietly switching everything back to manual.

Oh my! If he starts messing with my shower it's divorce!

@FinallyHere

I'm the tech geek in our household. DH humours me so long as the solution is at least as easy for him to use as before and things work reliably.

We have these light switches

https://wifi-smart-home.co.uk/smart-switches/smart-wifi-light-switches/pure-glass-wifi-smart-light-switches/

He can use them as a normal switch.

In addition they 'glow in the dark' so easy to find and they can be controlled though Alexa and my phone.

No going downstairs again if someone has left a light on. Last thing at night I can turn off all the lights in one go. When we are away, the lights can come on as usual so the house looks occupied.

Alexa does need to know the names of things but things can be grouped together so that ' kitchen lights on ' turns on the lights we use when cooking. 'Let there be light' turns on every light in the house. 'Lights out, no talking' turns everything off.

It's not really the technology you are complaining about, it's the implementation you have which makes all the difference.

Really useful thanks!

@gamerchick

Husband tried the Alexa thing but I kept turning it off downstairs. He's confined the speaking to a machine bollocks to his bedroom. Stick to your guns, maybe give him one room he can fill his boots in.

I love alexa in the kitchen, she records my shopping list. We don't have her anywhere else though

@Cissyandflora

I’m with husband. I love tech! I’ve gone even further than him with it. (I do understand your frustration though)

Husband is that you?

YANBU

My husband did the same thing. A year later, he replaced them all because he said he was sick of my huffing... but I suspect he found them a pain in the arse too

Bin, break, deny rinse and repeat til he listens to you. Life is too short for arguments you've said your piece and been ignored nows the time for malicious compliance. I also repeatedly ask for help if I can't work instantly whatever ridiculous piece of new tech arrives it then gets consigned to the garage fairly quickly. However I bloody love my Alexa so I'm open to reasonable adjustments.

[quote windthatbobbin]I was crying with laughter by the end of your OP. Of course YANBU. It's quite a funny set of images, this reasonable person looking defeatedly at things that are supposed to help that actually make life harder. You should show him this guy on TikTok:

[/quote] I've already sent him this thread so I'll send this too, thank you!

@OldTinHat

This has made me laugh! I'm like your DH, OP, but all of my lights are hooked up to Alexa so operated by voice (but I can use my phone too). No unsightly contraptions as I use Philips Hue bulbs.

It works perfectly for me, I live alone, I can turn the bathroom lights on before getting out of bed in the middle of the night and so on.

However! When my family come to stay they're flicking light switches on and off (they will work but bugger up my Alexa settings), they try the voice controls but get the light names wrong (bathroom, lounge, dining room, landing...really so hard?!). I have to follow them to reset the switches and sort out the phone app 😆 It's hilarious and really annoying at the same time but they only come to visit a couple of times a year! I'm planning on putting post it notes on the switches next time they come!

Maybe you should come over and fix them. I like the sound of yours

I thought I was the only one!! There should be a support group.

We have the Philips system which does at least offer a wall switch. I don't think DH quite understood my unwillingness to use my phone to operate the lights but he did install the smart wall switches in response to my complaints.

YANBU - are you sure you’re not married to my husband?! I’ve had to switch the shower off four times this morning because the internet decided that it should be on

Is the internet linked to a smell receptor that decided you are rather whiffy and is giving you a hint?

I can understand wanting to dim the lights in the room where you have meals. A romantic dinner for two on Valentine's Day, or a sophisticated dinner party, would be absolutely ruined for me if the only option for lighting was bright overhead light.

Other than that though, you're entirely right. Annoying remote controls and smart lights are just a silly fad that adds no value. When we had our extension the electrician initially said it wasn't even possible to have under cabinet LED tape which dimmed by turning a knob on the wall, but it was perfectly do-able.

(In case anyone else is struggling, we just needed one of these www.tlc-direct.co.uk/Products/LTYT40DC12.html )

I have some hue bulbs so that I can dim them from an app but they still work with the normal wall switch. Technology should make your life easier not harder.

My BIL is a geek fixed up the house to work by voice command, very clever at first, the novelty quickly wore off, it’s a pain in the arse having to speak to the kettle instead of flicking a switch.
Alexa is cute for browsing but not the house.

Are things ok in the rest of your relationship OP? this obsession with controlling a home that you spend more time in than he does is a bit weird.

We have this stuff around the house as well - the number of times I've gone up to our bedroom without my phone and I've had to shout down the stairs to DH to turn the bedroom light on. However he also fiddles with actual wall switches so we are currently have to go between the two switches that operate our living room light (each end) as only a certain combination of positions switches it on or off.

Lamps in sockets are my preference. Every. Single. Time.

We have smart plugs and bulbs in floor and table lamps, as I like the wires to be hidden and out of sight, but would never put them in ceiling lights - that's mad!

I like being able to turn on the cosy lamps with voice control, but I only ever use the ceiling lights when I'm passing through a room or looking for something, so it's not exactly difficult to just flick a switch!

OMG this sounds very frustrating! Could you compromise by having smart, dimmable tech in say the living room and bedroom, and simple on-off switches in regularly used rooms like the kitchen, dining room and hall? It's all very well to say "just switch them back", but the house does belong jointly to the two of you...

yanbu

we have no light switch in one room - just a remote control.
I hate it. hate trying to find it in the dark because dh says the place I usually leave it 'spoils the look'.
at least I was able to get rid of the motion sensor light in the downstairs toilet. that was activated by movement of the door and programmed to be on for one minute only.

@CallItLoneliness

Are things ok in the rest of your relationship OP? this obsession with controlling a home that you spend more time in than he does is a bit weird.

I've been waiting for the LTB advice, I'm surprised no one has suggested it yet! Yes it's fine, we just don't agree on this particular point. I bloody love the server system he's got wired up plus the thingymajig that beams programmes from afar onto my telly box. It's just this one we don't agree on.

We have smart light bulbs but standard switches. And an echo flex somewhere quietly out of sight in a corner of most rooms.

Means lights can be switched on or off as normal at the wall, or by the phone, or by Alexa. I absolutely would not be having anything to do with some kind of weird remote control thing! And I don’t want to use voice command when children are sleeping either.

Adds functionality - can set them on when we are out, can set grumpy teen’s to come on slowly in the morning, can use the echos to announce meal times or give five minute warnings for bed without having to shout, etc. but is invisible and unobtrusive.

Considering smart radiator valves but not after reading this threat!

Your husband’s set up would drive me beyond crazy.

My DH had our our old house set up as ‘smart house’ and it drove me fucking insane. You would have to say exactly the right phrase for something to work, then half the time even if I did say the right phrase Alexa wouldn’t understand and would start playing some random song!!!!

We moved house last month, and I am very much relishing living in a ‘dumb’ house again.

I am not a fan of the smart house. DP has sneaked one smart lightbulb in that takes so much phone and app fiddling its been used twice. How many times a day do you need to change the color of light in a room unless you are running an unofficial disco or part time brothel?

I see some of this stuff as technology solutions in search of a problem - if I was physically disabled, limited in my mobility, had bad arthritis or something then I would be utterly grateful for technology that allowed me to change lights, set temperatures, open blinds or made lists without writing. But at present in my life this technology has no utility for me and only serves to complicate simple everyday tasks.

These were a series of adverts for a Scandi supermarket on this: