To want to use a normal light switch that I can turn on or off easily

[Enidcat5]

My husband is very tech savvy, he was very keen when we bought our first house to put in technology to 'makes things easier'. The problem is that I don't agree that it's making things easier, as everything seems more difficult to do.

There are smart plugs and wireless switches everywhere. Aside from the fact that I think they look awful (they are the white plastic ikea ones) and don't fit with our 1890 style house (it has lots of period features that I love) I am increasingly frustrated with how much harder these switches and systems make simple tasks.

This morning I went to put the dining room light on, so I pressed the normal wall switch. Nothing happened. I then see one of these smart switches on the table. He's programmed it to 'dim' the lights in the room so now I have to find the portable light switch each time I want to turn on or off the light. I have small children so there's no way this switch will stay where its meant to be. Also it's the room we use for working and kids homework plus meals, so I don't understand why we'd want to dim the light.

My hallway is dark so I have to put on a light to put kids shoes on to leave for nursery and school in the morning. We're always in a hurry. But to put light on I usually have to try at least 2 times to get the flipping smart switch to work, as its stiff and also for some reason they decided to make these things so they stick to the wall holder with a magnet. The amount of times it flies off when I'm rushing and I then have to hunt on the floor for it. It adds stress to the proceedings. There are also 2 of them and I inevitably pick the wrong one, so end up having to do the dropping and retrieving process twice.

My husband's reasoning is that it's useful to be able to dim the lights (we have soft lamps which could be used instead, or we could just use a dimmer?) and we can turn lights on and off from our phones. I don't understand the point of this. I'm walking past the light switch as I leave the room, I don't want to have to get my phone out to turn the bloody thing off when I can just point my finger at it and press. I get the interest in dimming but there are dimmer switches that look a whole lot nicer than these things and are much easier to use.

I want to get rid of them. I have said this several times and he's ignoring me. I've said it again this morning and he's in a huff. I am at the point of screaming.

Aibu?

Sympathy. We have Alexa controlled lights (my husband's idea not mine obvs) which ocassionally are good like switching off when you're on bed, or switching off everything upstairs the kids have left on, using the app. But mostly I find it annoying and takes longer than using the switch. You can still use the switch but you have to switch it off and on again so I tend not to.

It's unanimous so far!!! Yes!!! The screwdriver's coming out

I feel like such a dick speaking to an inanimate object, it's bad enough requesting music, I don't think I could cope with lights as well!

Yanbu. Out your foot down. It’s your home too.

I have a light installed by a previous owner that I can only turn on or off with my phone. I HATE it. Especially when my phone is flat battery!

A lot of thisnis nonsense dreampt up by young male tech geeks who live at google/amazon etc and have no idea how middle aged women live. They can’t imagine a phone having a flat battery or a child losing a remote control. Resist them!!

So so glad my dh is a bit of a technophobe

We have a remote for a set of lights in our house. But the switch in the wall also works.

What happens when the remote runs out of battery power?

So so glad my dh is a bit of a technophobe
Me too! We have one smart plug that we use for the Christmas Tree lights and that's it - and we couldn't get that to work this year. If the whole house was wired up we would probably be in the dark half the time!

I’m with husband. I love tech! I’ve gone even further than him with it.
(I do understand your frustration though)

We only have one smart switch in our living room and it's bloody annoying. I am much more likely to decide about the lighting when I walk in or out of a room than any other time. I don't want to ask Alexa to put the light on, or find an app on my phone that's in a different room!

I feel your pain! I’m forever pressing switches when I ‘shouldn’t’ and am fed up
Of lights dimming or going out when I don’t want them to. DH has Hive; I couldn’t be bothered.

That is so annoying.

Thankfully I am the techie in our house so if it isn't helpful or practical it doesn't happen.

Friends have had a camper van conversion done. Very beautiful, very expensive. Everything is controlled by Alexa. God what a load of absolute tossery. 'Alexa turn on the lights '.......loooooong pause and silence and no activity......alexa wakes up and says 'turning on lights'.....pause then lights come on. You could have turned then on with your hand, got what you wanted, turned them off again and be halfway across the bloody field in the time it takes the faff to happen.

Similar here. The novelty was ok to start with. Especially during lockdown.
Dd has misplaced the remote that can go on the wall countless times. You always need a light when you don't have your phone.
And, lockdowns over and my dad was looking after dd for a couple of hours... sat in darkness as he doesn't have the app (and didn't know which lights were on that and which weren't).

My mission is to remove all and just return to old skool lights and switches that actually do their job.

I agree OP especially as you have an old period home and he's putting in cheap looking glitchy smart bulb tatt that's doesn't work anyway

I wouldn't wait for electrician
You can remove the lightbulbs if they are smart ones. Go to b&q and buy Norma led replacement bulbs or whatever you prefer.

Put his smart lightbulbs into a box in the loft. Job done.

Lights back and remind him when he gets home that you don't have time for this cheap shit, you've young DCs to look after, who all need to be able to see. He can have a smart lightbulb in the lamp by his bed. Other than that , until it's better quality and reliable and pre-agreed by you, he better not touch the lights again.

You both sound ridiculous and entrenched in your views. Set up a motion detector, programme your lights etc. There is a compromise to be found but it appears neither of you want to reach it.

100% with you OP. My husband has put some in too (but mainly in areas I don’t use much).
My objections include:
Harder to use, especially in the dark.
Losing the remote.
On a light fitting with 3 bulbs sometimes they get out of sync and only 2 come on.
Eco nightmare, all that extra plastic and batteries.

He’s used some colour changing bulbs but as he’s colour blind can’t see that even set to white they do match the other bulbs and look absurd.
Hilariously he’s recently redecorated his office and I note has reverted to the manual light switch. I’ve not gloated but am obvs very pleased.

What happens when your Wi-Fi is down?

YADNBU

We have a group of lamps set on Alexa so we just tell her to switch them on and off. It works very well.
Switched next to switches for switches sake is just a dick move

I do like my Alexa stuff but it has its limits and I live alone so I can do what I like. my setup is that the plug in lamps are smart and the wired in lights are not. Honestly if I was married to your DH I would be using the screwdriver for murder and not for electrical work, and I do like my tech. I'd be telling him he can have us much tech as he likes in the garden shed and he can go live there and if you haven't got a garden shed then send him out to build one. a ps is that I find the newer Echo Shows much better than the old Dots for voice recognition. I went over to Shows to monitor my tortoises.

YANBU. Those are really shit smart lights. I have smart switches almost everywhere, but if you didn’t know or like them, they the same as regular switches (well, they are flat, but you can just press them) they ADD functionality of being able to turn lights on and off with your hands full, dim them, or remotely turn them off, or put them on timers. Yours sound utterly pointless and seriously annoying.

I ADORE tech, but it should always make life easier, not harder. He’s a twit. Maybe a compromise would be to get better ones that actually are smart?

I would be livid but I would make my point by using a torch instead.
I have 3 lamps set up via Alexa in the sitting room and I love to say Alexa turn on the lamps rather than bend d out we n 3 times.

Husband tried the Alexa thing but I kept turning it off downstairs. He's confined the speaking to a machine bollocks to his bedroom. Stick to your guns, maybe give him one room he can fill his boots in.

I was crying with laughter by the end of your OP. Of course YANBU. It's quite a funny set of images, this reasonable person looking defeatedly at things that are supposed to help that actually make life harder. You should show him this guy on TikTok:

YANBU - are you sure you’re not married to my husband?! I’ve had to switch the shower off four times this morning because the internet decided that it should be on. Most smart home tech has an option to go back to manual settings - I’m quietly switching everything back to manual.

This has made me laugh! I'm like your DH, OP, but all of my lights are hooked up to Alexa so operated by voice (but I can use my phone too). No unsightly contraptions as I use Philips Hue bulbs.

It works perfectly for me, I live alone, I can turn the bathroom lights on before getting out of bed in the middle of the night and so on.

However! When my family come to stay they're flicking light switches on and off (they will work but bugger up my Alexa settings), they try the voice controls but get the light names wrong (bathroom, lounge, dining room, landing...really so hard?!). I have to follow them to reset the switches and sort out the phone app 😆 It's hilarious and really annoying at the same time but they only come to visit a couple of times a year! I'm planning on putting post it notes on the switches next time they come!

DH is into this sort of thing but our set up is pretty useful. We've got PIRs in key rooms like hall, landing and kitchen which is really handy not to have to use the switch with hands full. Also bulbs in other rooms that can be programmed to come on and off at set times - they can also be set to different colours and light levels using the phone app or home pod.