To want to use a normal light switch that I can turn on or off easily

[Enidcat5]

My husband is very tech savvy, he was very keen when we bought our first house to put in technology to 'makes things easier'. The problem is that I don't agree that it's making things easier, as everything seems more difficult to do.

There are smart plugs and wireless switches everywhere. Aside from the fact that I think they look awful (they are the white plastic ikea ones) and don't fit with our 1890 style house (it has lots of period features that I love) I am increasingly frustrated with how much harder these switches and systems make simple tasks.

This morning I went to put the dining room light on, so I pressed the normal wall switch. Nothing happened. I then see one of these smart switches on the table. He's programmed it to 'dim' the lights in the room so now I have to find the portable light switch each time I want to turn on or off the light. I have small children so there's no way this switch will stay where its meant to be. Also it's the room we use for working and kids homework plus meals, so I don't understand why we'd want to dim the light.

My hallway is dark so I have to put on a light to put kids shoes on to leave for nursery and school in the morning. We're always in a hurry. But to put light on I usually have to try at least 2 times to get the flipping smart switch to work, as its stiff and also for some reason they decided to make these things so they stick to the wall holder with a magnet. The amount of times it flies off when I'm rushing and I then have to hunt on the floor for it. It adds stress to the proceedings. There are also 2 of them and I inevitably pick the wrong one, so end up having to do the dropping and retrieving process twice.

My husband's reasoning is that it's useful to be able to dim the lights (we have soft lamps which could be used instead, or we could just use a dimmer?) and we can turn lights on and off from our phones. I don't understand the point of this. I'm walking past the light switch as I leave the room, I don't want to have to get my phone out to turn the bloody thing off when I can just point my finger at it and press. I get the interest in dimming but there are dimmer switches that look a whole lot nicer than these things and are much easier to use.

I want to get rid of them. I have said this several times and he's ignoring me. I've said it again this morning and he's in a huff. I am at the point of screaming.

Aibu?

An average of YADNBU. I'm pretty chuffed with that one thanks all. I'm off to be more assertive and wield the screwdriver at these ineffective plastic things.

Currently trialling smart radiator valves to save money by not heating upstairs whenever downstairs is heated.

I have thermostatic valves on all radiators so only heat where I want and don't have to rely on dodgy wifi signal either. Some of these sotries sound horrendous, it's simple to change a 'smart' switch for a proper one, no need for an expensive electrician, I've replaced or changed sockets and I'm 74, just make sure the power's off and take a photo of the wiring if you're unsure.

He's lying to you when he says he's doing it to 'make things easier'.

What he really means is he LOVES gadgets, the more the better, he just can't stop himself, doesn't matter how much they cost, what they look like, if they get lost or are impossible to use... he just loves gadgets...

Sorry, OP!

Wasn't a LTB, it was a genuine question, I study this stuff for a living. Sometimes tech obsession is tech obsession, and sometimes it's....worse.

Examples, with trigger warning

theconversation.com/the-smart-home-could-worsen-domestic-abuse-but-the-same-technology-may-also-make-us-safer-82897

www.nytimes.com/2018/06/23/technology/smart-home-devices-domestic-abuse.html

Mine would be getting the dc ready and out the door in the morning until he’s fixed it. Late to work? That would be a consequence for making my home hard to live in. When you do it that way you aren’t undoing their work, just making them take over the things they’ve made harder for you.

Oh this would drive me mad. I'd have them changed back to switches while he was at work. And not apologize for it.

@timeisnotaline

Mine would be getting the dc ready and out the door in the morning until he’s fixed it. Late to work? That would be a consequence for making my home hard to live in. When you do it that way you aren’t undoing their work, just making them take over the things they’ve made harder for you.

Would love to, only he leaves an hour before they leave.

@LightSpeeds

He's lying to you when he says he's doing it to 'make things easier'.

What he really means is he LOVES gadgets, the more the better, he just can't stop himself, doesn't matter how much they cost, what they look like, if they get lost or are impossible to use... he just loves gadgets...

Sorry, OP!

Yup...le sigh...

@CallItLoneliness

Wasn't a LTB, it was a genuine question, I study this stuff for a living. Sometimes tech obsession is tech obsession, and sometimes it's....worse.

Interesting thank you. The link doesn't work but I'll Google

I hear you, mine leaves at 6am usually. He would still be staying home later a couple of mornings a week to do the run for this, sometimes work needs to flex!

You have all reminded me of my ex husband and even though my divorce has been horrendous I no longer have to put up with shit like this. Thanks 😊

Chipperfish that advert’s hilarious! My ex was massively into pointless tech and it’s amused me hugely to imagine him in that same situation!
I agree that it can have its place - I have back problems and turning the lamp behind the sofa on and off got difficult until we got a smart switch controlled by Alexa, but I couldn’t be doing that with everything. For a start, Alexa doesn’t always understand DHs accent.

I don't understand the point of smart switches/bulbs etc if you're just going to use them the same as the "normal" switches. My house is a smart house in that we have lots of tech but it is all centrally controlled via the Google home app - which I can use on both the Google speakers and my phone - and is set up to make our lives easier.

We have smart bulbs in every room in my flat, and we also have Google home minis in mine and DDs bedroom, one in the hall and one in the living room. If you want to turn the lights on you can either say "Google turn on X light", use the app on my phone or use the normal switch on the wall. We also watch TV via chrome cast so if I want to watch something on Netflix/Disney+ etc I can either control it from my phone or I can say "Google, play Bridgerton from Netflix on thr Living Room TV" and it will put it on and then you can control it (pause and restart/increase or decrease volume etc either via the voice control, TV remote or phone app)

I love the system because it is so easy to use and it's great for setting up routines - when I leave for work I can say "Google, I'm going to work and it will automatically ensure everything is off (lights/tv/music etc), will reset the heating thermostat so that the heating doesn't come on while I'm out of the house and will activate our home security system. When I get home, especially when it's late in the evening, I like that I can turn on the hall light and the heating/fan (depending on the weather) as I'm walking home, so I arrive home to a lit, warm/cool flat.

We also have routines set via the Google app for bedtimes - on mine I say "Goodnight Google" and it will turn everything off, ask me when to set my morning alarm and then lay white noise for an hour before automatically turning off. In the morning when my alarm goes off, when I tell it to stop then it will tell me the time, weather forecast, selected headlines of the day and then play a chosen playlist of songs from Spotify.

DDs is similar - she has set hers so that at night she says "Mischief Managed" (she's a huge Harry Potter fan, as am I) and it will turn off her bedroom lights, turn on her projector (projects little stars onto the ceiling) while it read the next chapter of her audio book and then it turns off the projector and audio book and plays white noise for an hour. In the morning it sets her alarm off at 7am Mon-Fri and 9am Sat/Sun and plays a playlist of songs. During the winter it also slowly turns on the light - it starts just before her alarm goes off and gets brighter- so that it helps with the dark mornings and getting up.

All of the smart systems we have set up are super easy to use and the smart tech is all coordinated via the Google home system so it is all in one place and you don't need your phone/remotes/switches (though those options are there if you want them) to use anything, you just ask Google to do it.

There's also the added benefit that because all our Google minis are linked, if I'm cleaning or moving around and listening to an audio book for example then I can move from room to room and all I have to do is tell Google where I'm moving to next and it will continue playing in the next room - it means I don't have to have my phone or headphones in all the time but I also don't have to keep stopping and starting it manually I just say "pause and continue on living room/bedroom/hall speaker".

Tech is great as long as you use it functionally and make sure it's accessible to everyone in the household, which it doesn't sound like your system is, OP.

I’m the techie in my house. I’m slowly changing our lights over to smart ones controlled by Alexa. It’s great for the most part. I have an outside light that I used to have to find shoes, open garage door, leaaaaaannn out, flip the switch on, take dog out, open garage door, leaaaannnn out, flip switch off. Now I just say “Alexa, backyard on/off”. I can turn it on by percentage too, “Alexa, turn backyard on 25%”, which I’ll do if the neighbors are out enjoying an evening outside.

At night I can say my goodnight phrase and all the lights go off and the bedroom light starts a 10 minute timer that gradually turns off. I have ‘away routines that vary the times the lights turn off and on, I can check on the house/cats when we are traveling, I use the reminders and timers.

Honestly all of that is nice, but I originally bought Alexa for us and our adopted dads. They were moving to a senior living community and I was hearing the horror stories of people not being able to contact loved ones during lockdowns and decided that was not going to happen. I got them used to it before they moved and it was great to keep in touch during lockdowns. They also use it a lot after a stroke left one unable to read for audiobooks.

I also ended up buying one for my mum who ended up in a transitional like rehab unit for a period of time this past summer with temporary cognitive deficiencies due to brain cancer treatment. She didn’t have to do anything and I could ‘drop in’ at any time to check on her and talk to her.

So yes some of the new smart stuff is limited, but can be really helpful when set up, other functions like the communication is invaluable in certain circumstances. (If you will be responsible for old people get them started using it before you need it!)

Now my funny story about when tech goes wrong…. We were away for the weekend and I got a call at 10:30 or so at night. It was a neighbor asking if everything was ok. I was really confused until she explained another neighbor had called and let them know our backyard light was blinking on and off. Turns out there was a short power outage and the light had gone into setup mode, they were concerned we were trying to signal for help. I thanked her and assured her that we weren’t using Morse code. She laughed and sent her DH to unscrew it. So I guess there’s one more benefit, you could signal distress with the app if you needed to!

@OldTinHat

This has made me laugh! I'm like your DH, OP, but all of my lights are hooked up to Alexa so operated by voice (but I can use my phone too). No unsightly contraptions as I use Philips Hue bulbs.

It works perfectly for me, I live alone, I can turn the bathroom lights on before getting out of bed in the middle of the night and so on.

However! When my family come to stay they're flicking light switches on and off (they will work but bugger up my Alexa settings), they try the voice controls but get the light names wrong (bathroom, lounge, dining room, landing...really so hard?!). I have to follow them to reset the switches and sort out the phone app 😆 It's hilarious and really annoying at the same time but they only come to visit a couple of times a year! I'm planning on putting post it notes on the switches next time they come!

I have mine set up so that they are grouped to an Alexa. Then you just have to say ‘lights on’ and the ones linked in that room come on. Or my mother comes to stay and turns everything on and off in one go all the time…