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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy colleague a ready meal?

409 replies

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 17:55

I hardly ever think of AIBUs but this feels appropriate
In the office the other day, I was going to stretch my legs. A colleague asked me to buy her a chicken ready meal if I went near a shop.
I went to marks and Spencer to buy Percy pigs. The ready meals were about £5. She didn't offer me money before I went, she's not in my team and I might not see her in person for months. I would probably have ended up paying for her lunch.
I also don't like her, she's rude and weird and messed with my stuff once because I was using the desk she likes.
Final point, I'm vegan and don't want to buy chicken, but I was too chicken (lol) to say that.
If I liked her, I would have happily bought a meal but I would have said can I get you a veggie one instead, and I wouldn't have minded if I didn't get paid back.
I told her the meals were £5 and I didn't feel comfortable spending that much of her money without her agreement. But I never had any real intention of buying one, mostly because there were no actual supermarkets nearby anyway.
Context, I'm a manager and she isn't, but I'm a lone parent and broke as shit.

So, was I a total cow (YABU) or a diplomatic genius? (YANBU)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Mrsmadevans · 03/03/2022 20:41

M&S have a load of meals much cheaper than £5 OP
missing the point Grin

Zonder · 03/03/2022 20:44

@HarlanPepper

This is a fucking weird and annoying thread. I hate the OP for starting it, everyone else for posting on it, and myself for wasting five minutes of my life reading it.
For that alone OP IBU.
Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 20:46

@HarlanPepper

This is a fucking weird and annoying thread. I hate the OP for starting it, everyone else for posting on it, and myself for wasting five minutes of my life reading it.
Love you too
OP posts:
Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 20:46

@Mrsmadevans

M&S have a load of meals much cheaper than £5 OP missing the point Grin
Not where I was looking!!
OP posts:
Electriq · 03/03/2022 20:49

Its probably been covered but my only thought was percy piga aren't vegan.

BeeDavis · 03/03/2022 20:52

Strange because in my office if anyone is going to the shop on lunch they ask if anyone wants anything… but then again, we’re not cunts to each other.

WTF475878237NC · 03/03/2022 20:53

Oh yes they have beeswax.

Wulfenite · 03/03/2022 20:54

I am vegan and wouldn't buy meat for someone unless they really needed my help for some reason. It was a super weird thing of her to ask. She should sort her own shopping.

Wulfenite · 03/03/2022 20:54

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CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 20:55

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Iamthewombat · 03/03/2022 20:57

Op you were right not to buy her anything, she was being a cf and you'd never have seen that fiver again 😂

Christ. Fancy going through life mistrusting everyone. How do you or the OP know that she would ‘never have seen that fiver again’? This woman is a colleague. The OP already knows her. She’s not a stranger. If this woman had stolen from the OP or anyone else before, the OP would certainly have told us!

If a colleague asked me to buy X in M&S I’d do it and expect them to settle up when I got back. I wouldn’t think, “what a CF, she thinks she’s going to get it for free”. If the colleague didn’t say, “what do I owe you?” straight away, and 99% of people would, I’d say, “that was £5” or whatever.

Anybody who would assume that a colleague making a request like this would never intend to pay is one of the same people whose mindset is, “I have to grab all the best things for myself because I assume that everyone is as selfish and mistrustful as me”. The people who strip the shelves of milk and bread as soon as there’s a rumour of a shortage? The people who are ripping packs of loo roll out of pallets before they even get on the shelves, to buy as much as possible for themselves and sod everyone else? Yes, the same people.

DogsAndGin · 03/03/2022 20:59

Diplomatic genius for sure Grin

caringcarer · 03/03/2022 21:00

If you did not want to do the favour you should have just said no.

iheartmybeachhut · 03/03/2022 21:04

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

The only vegans i know that care about beeswax are the hardcore ones who check toilet roll holders for animal based glue. Life is just too short.

I mean I wasn't going to admit it on this thread but now you've said that I probably will keep eating them
So I'm not only a sanctimonious vegan I'm a hypocritical one too

You're not a vegan then ?Confused
CognitiveDissolver · 03/03/2022 21:07

Weird request, almost as if she was testing you to see how compliant you were.

Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 21:07

No I'm not a vegan apparently
I don't eat any animal products apart from a tiny bit of beeswax every few months in some Percy pigs
But I'm not a vegan

OP posts:
Iamthewombat · 03/03/2022 21:09

@caringcarer

If you did not want to do the favour you should have just said no.
It couldn’t possibly be that she was busy, or feeling knackered, or didn’t know the area well, and was hungry. No. Those explanations would be too far fetched.
StarsAndSugarlumps · 03/03/2022 21:09

I voted YANBU but then changed it when I realised you can’t ever have had any intention of getting it for her, because it was meat, so you should have said that do she could arrange something else.

Iamthewombat · 03/03/2022 21:10

Sorry, quoted wrong post!

iheartmybeachhut · 03/03/2022 21:10

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

No I'm not a vegan apparently I don't eat any animal products apart from a tiny bit of beeswax every few months in some Percy pigs But I'm not a vegan
Proper vegans wouldn't knowingly eat anything like that at anytime even one sweet. Just call yourself a veggie and done with.
Iamthewombat · 03/03/2022 21:10

@CognitiveDissolver

Weird request, almost as if she was testing you to see how compliant you were.
This was the one I meant to quote. To which I added:

It couldn’t possibly be that she was busy, or feeling knackered, or didn’t know the area well, and was hungry. No. Those explanations would be too far fetched.

Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 21:13

@StarsAndSugarlumps

I voted YANBU but then changed it when I realised you can’t ever have had any intention of getting it for her, because it was meat, so you should have said that do she could arrange something else.
I've said several times that I would have bought her the chicken if I'd come across a very easy to buy meal than was under £2. I wasn't going to go hunting over town or spending £5 of my own money. But I would have bought chicken, despite not wanting to.
OP posts:
Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 21:14

Proper vegans wouldn't knowingly eat anything like that at anytime even one sweet. Just call yourself a veggie and done with.
Since I don't eat dairy or eggs it would be a bit weird and misleading to call myself veggie
For the sake of the odd bag of Percy pigs I'm not giving up the word vegan, sorry not sorry 😘

OP posts:
BuyDirt · 03/03/2022 21:16

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CathyorClaire · 03/03/2022 21:16

I'd do it for a friend but not for someone who had form for messing with my stuff and being a bellend.

She's a CF for asking with history behind her and you're not BU not doing it. That said I'd have made it clear I wasn't going to be her shopping fairy upfront.