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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy colleague a ready meal?

409 replies

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 17:55

I hardly ever think of AIBUs but this feels appropriate
In the office the other day, I was going to stretch my legs. A colleague asked me to buy her a chicken ready meal if I went near a shop.
I went to marks and Spencer to buy Percy pigs. The ready meals were about £5. She didn't offer me money before I went, she's not in my team and I might not see her in person for months. I would probably have ended up paying for her lunch.
I also don't like her, she's rude and weird and messed with my stuff once because I was using the desk she likes.
Final point, I'm vegan and don't want to buy chicken, but I was too chicken (lol) to say that.
If I liked her, I would have happily bought a meal but I would have said can I get you a veggie one instead, and I wouldn't have minded if I didn't get paid back.
I told her the meals were £5 and I didn't feel comfortable spending that much of her money without her agreement. But I never had any real intention of buying one, mostly because there were no actual supermarkets nearby anyway.
Context, I'm a manager and she isn't, but I'm a lone parent and broke as shit.

So, was I a total cow (YABU) or a diplomatic genius? (YANBU)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Aprilx · 03/03/2022 21:17

I think you sound juvenile and as somebody else said strangely pleased with yourself for having a hand in somebody else missing out on lunch.

I have worked in office environments for three decades and people have always picked up lunch, snacks, drinks for other people if they are going out. How this would make somebody a twat I do not know. Some people would hand over the money straight away, others might settle up afterwards, both quite normal things to do.

You sound like a very unpleasant colleague,

Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 21:18

@Aprilx

I think you sound juvenile and as somebody else said strangely pleased with yourself for having a hand in somebody else missing out on lunch.

I have worked in office environments for three decades and people have always picked up lunch, snacks, drinks for other people if they are going out. How this would make somebody a twat I do not know. Some people would hand over the money straight away, others might settle up afterwards, both quite normal things to do.

You sound like a very unpleasant colleague,

She didn't miss out on lunch. She went out herself shortly after and returned ten minutes later with lunch. But yes, I was juvenile. I'll give you that.
OP posts:
Calmdown14 · 03/03/2022 21:19

I don't think you did anything wrong but being vegan was your easy get out!

I'd not feel comfortable choosing on that criteria. Curry, Chinese, pasta. Too many options of price range as well

BuyDirt · 03/03/2022 21:21

Apparently Aldi sell similar sweets to Percy pig and they’re vegan. Leo the Lions, I think they’re called. No idea how they compare, never tried a Percy pig or a Leo lion but maybe worth a try OP.

Skinnytailedsquirrel · 03/03/2022 21:21

You sound really weird OP.

iheartmybeachhut · 03/03/2022 21:23

It doesn't matter what you call yourself. It's still an insult to me and other 100% vegans. The last bit is rather childish.

Hawkins001 · 03/03/2022 21:29

Always best to get £ first and then agree on limits for food prices

Pinkfluff76 · 03/03/2022 21:31

What a cheeker fucker. She could’ve given you her bank card to tap!!

Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 21:32

@BuyDirt

Apparently Aldi sell similar sweets to Percy pig and they’re vegan. Leo the Lions, I think they’re called. No idea how they compare, never tried a Percy pig or a Leo lion but maybe worth a try OP.
Thank you!
OP posts:
Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 21:32

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

You sound really weird OP.
Thank you Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 21:32

@iheartmybeachhut

It doesn't matter what you call yourself. It's still an insult to me and other 100% vegans. The last bit is rather childish.
Oh hush
OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 03/03/2022 21:32

Oh no - by new I mean that 2005 travesty
As opposed to the old one with Colin fifth

Sad
Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 21:32

@Pinkfluff76

What a cheeker fucker. She could’ve given you her bank card to tap!!
Yes!!
OP posts:
Mydogmylife · 03/03/2022 21:35

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

I love these responses Grin Personally I think I was a bit of a twat. She was a twat to me first though but she doesn't realise she was because she's generally twatty.
Personally I think you were a bit of a twat as well! Just say no , you sound strangely pleased with yourself
NatriumChloride · 03/03/2022 21:38

Weird and ridiculously passive aggressive. I would have asked her to give me her card or cash to pay or told her I was in a rush and wouldn’t be able to go in and hunt for ready meals. That way she could have had an opportunity to buy herself her lunch.
YABU and a little childish.

BuyDirt · 03/03/2022 21:40

It doesn't matter what you call yourself. It's still an insult to me and other 100% vegans. The last bit is rather childish.

As a vegan, I’m not insulted. If everyone ate like OP, I’d be much happier than where we are now with most people eating meat, dairy and eggs. Vegan isn’t a badge of honour and attitudes like yours do more harm than good. I hate that people eat these things but being insulted doesn’t help.

ilovesooty · 03/03/2022 21:41

Yes but suppose the OP didn't bring her card back?

Perhaps you should just have said "No....not getting your lunch. You're rude and weird" Grin

Pigeonpocket · 03/03/2022 21:42

This thread is so weird.

Who asks someone they barely know to choose their lunch for them? Why does half this thread think that's normal?!

Why don't people understand that if you morally object to something (meat) then it's perfectly normal to not want to buy it?

I'm with you, OP.

RainbowBridge21 · 03/03/2022 21:47

This is such a weird thread!!
Tbf it sounds like you were put on the spot a bit and just didn't handle it very well. Next time eh?

Doris86 · 03/03/2022 21:55

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

Does nobody think she was unreasonable to ask a manager she barely knows to buy her lunch without offering cash up front? I would never
No I think the unreasonable one was the person who agreed to get some lunch for her, and then didn’t on the assumption she’d refuse to pay.

If you’d bought her lunch and given it to her, she would have said ‘what do I owe you?’ and given you cash or a bank transfer.

Iamthewombat · 03/03/2022 21:56

Why don't people understand that if you morally object to something (meat) then it's perfectly normal to not want to buy it?

Everyone gets that, although it’s not like the OP a was asked to buy crack, is it. What is weird is that the OP didn’t tell her colleague that she wasn’t going to fetch her a chicken ready meal because she is a vegan. Why couldn’t she just say so? Particularly because she makes such a song and dance about being ‘a manager’.

The truth is, the OP was affronted that she - a MANAGER! - was asked to do a favour for a colleague she cherishes a grudge against, and deliberately jerked the colleague around. She has plenty of face saving excuses though. She’s a vegan! The colleague is ‘twatty’! The colleague probably wouldn’t give her the money! Etc etc.

Pebbledashery · 03/03/2022 21:56

Kathryn is such a snake

Pebbledashery · 03/03/2022 21:57

Wrong thread!

birdlawyerr · 03/03/2022 21:59

Good job eating meat is bad for the environment 👍

BuyDirt · 03/03/2022 22:01

Kathryn is such a snake

😂