Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy colleague a ready meal?

409 replies

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 17:55

I hardly ever think of AIBUs but this feels appropriate
In the office the other day, I was going to stretch my legs. A colleague asked me to buy her a chicken ready meal if I went near a shop.
I went to marks and Spencer to buy Percy pigs. The ready meals were about £5. She didn't offer me money before I went, she's not in my team and I might not see her in person for months. I would probably have ended up paying for her lunch.
I also don't like her, she's rude and weird and messed with my stuff once because I was using the desk she likes.
Final point, I'm vegan and don't want to buy chicken, but I was too chicken (lol) to say that.
If I liked her, I would have happily bought a meal but I would have said can I get you a veggie one instead, and I wouldn't have minded if I didn't get paid back.
I told her the meals were £5 and I didn't feel comfortable spending that much of her money without her agreement. But I never had any real intention of buying one, mostly because there were no actual supermarkets nearby anyway.
Context, I'm a manager and she isn't, but I'm a lone parent and broke as shit.

So, was I a total cow (YABU) or a diplomatic genius? (YANBU)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
shiteheart · 03/03/2022 22:01

I don't think PP are suitable for vegans? They're vegetarian only.

GoodSister · 03/03/2022 22:08

YANBU people should get their own lunch, it’s always the same people who ask and the same people who pick lunches up

Doris86 · 03/03/2022 22:11

@GoodSister

YANBU people should get their own lunch, it’s always the same people who ask and the same people who pick lunches up
Seriously, have you never helped someone out when they are busy?
PurpleDaisies · 03/03/2022 22:13

@shiteheart

I don't think PP are suitable for vegans? They're vegetarian only.
You’re right-they’ve got beeswax in them,
Chocomelon · 03/03/2022 22:16

It's irrelevant that you are a manager but I think it is rude to ask someone to pick up lunch for them!

Chocomelon · 03/03/2022 22:16

In these circumstances

Chocomelon · 03/03/2022 22:17

I thought they're were Percy pigs suitable for vegans

Or maybe vegetarians

Not sure now!

PurpleDaisies · 03/03/2022 22:19

@Chocomelon

I thought they're were Percy pigs suitable for vegans

Or maybe vegetarians

Not sure now!

Cancel the cheque
OnTheBoardwalk · 03/03/2022 22:23

@Regularsizedrudy

Her: can you get me a chicken ready meal? You: no, sorry

Saves on all that internal frustration you’ve got going on

This! Just say no

How long was your walk? You left her waiting all this time

WTF475878237NC · 03/03/2022 22:24

I was a disappointing lunch promising twat

^ you said it Grin

No way would I give a colleague I don't really know my bank card to tap, nor would I expect someone else to.

Ostagazuzulum · 03/03/2022 22:27

YANBU - if someone asks you to buy lunch like that then it's polite to offer money. I'm all manager and skint due to repaying loans from an ex but my boss and peers expect me to grab drinks as I'm only one who passes Costas on way to work. No money offered most times. Then at Xmas I have nearly 29 staff and it's expected I'll get them something but it all adds up.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 03/03/2022 22:32

You were really unnecessarily unkind, OP. As are the people cheering you on.

TreatTrimTame · 03/03/2022 22:36

YABU for using the word "sainsbo's" and im off to eat a sausage sandwich in protest with the hope you think of poor little Peppa before you use that word again.

Lavender24 · 03/03/2022 22:40

I agree that ideally you should have said no straight away but I understand that it might have felt awkward. She was cheeky to ask in the first place and even cheekier to not offer money upfront. Also does she know you're vegan? I'm vegan too and had a work colleague ask me to buy her bacon once. It was a firm no. I've also refused to do a Greggs run and pick up the office cow lactation which didn't go down well

ClemFandangoo · 03/03/2022 22:43

@littlefireseverywhere

Percy pigs are vegan!
They’re veggie. Some varieties have beeswax in so they’re not vegan.
HollowTalk · 03/03/2022 22:54

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

Does nobody think she was unreasonable to ask a manager she barely knows to buy her lunch without offering cash up front? I would never
Yea, definitely.
Iamthewombat · 03/03/2022 23:04

@Ostagazuzulum

YANBU - if someone asks you to buy lunch like that then it's polite to offer money. I'm all manager and skint due to repaying loans from an ex but my boss and peers expect me to grab drinks as I'm only one who passes Costas on way to work. No money offered most times. Then at Xmas I have nearly 29 staff and it's expected I'll get them something but it all adds up.
What’s “all manager”? Is it a bit like being “all woman”?

What have your boss’s and peers’ regular requests for free Costa coffees because you walk past the shop got to do with the OP’s situation? Just say no or tell them what they owe you. That’s what the OP should have done, but didn’t because she wanted to make her colleague’s life difficult. In any event there’s no evidence that the OP’s colleague didn’t plan to reimburse her.

What this thread reveals is the level of passive aggression people are carrying around with them. Why not just say “no” instead of nurturing spite and resentment?

Pleiades2020 · 03/03/2022 23:19

Please, enough with the attacks on Vegans and Veganism. In UK law it falls under the same category as religion or belief, and it's unacceptable to discriminate against someone with those beliefs.

www.vegansociety.com/get-involved/international-rights-network/what-rights-do-vegans-have
(scroll down to the UK Equality Law section)

The OP was quite within her rights to refuse to buy a chicken ready meal because of her beliefs - and that would probably have been the best course of action. However, it's understandable why she didn't as she's probably had a lot of bullying over her veganism in the same way that many posters on here have done. Please respect her choice.

PurpleDaisies · 03/03/2022 23:27

@Pleiades2020

Please, enough with the attacks on Vegans and Veganism. In UK law it falls under the same category as religion or belief, and it's unacceptable to discriminate against someone with those beliefs.

www.vegansociety.com/get-involved/international-rights-network/what-rights-do-vegans-have
(scroll down to the UK Equality Law section)

The OP was quite within her rights to refuse to buy a chicken ready meal because of her beliefs - and that would probably have been the best course of action. However, it's understandable why she didn't as she's probably had a lot of bullying over her veganism in the same way that many posters on here have done. Please respect her choice.

The op’s “belief” in veganism is so strong that she still eats beeswax. Anyone is within their rights to refuse to buy a ready meal for anyone else for pretty much any reason they want. It’s not a legal right to have someone else do your lunch run. Being vegan is a red herring.

I respect anyone’s choice to be vegan/vegetarian/whatever. It’s harder to respect those who don’t stick to what their label means (fish eating “vegetarians”, honey eating “vegans” etc). If matters because if people some some vegetarians eating fish etc then you get fish fingers as the vegetarian option on menus.

EatYourVegetables · 03/03/2022 23:44

Please don’t use words like “sansbos”.

Nat94 · 04/03/2022 00:05

If you agreed to get someone some lunch then you absolutely should of done this. I would feel so guilty playing games with people that they went hungry all day as they were expecting me to bring them food as agreed?

Please next time just say no if you don’t care about people and stop with your power trip.

ilovesooty · 04/03/2022 00:11

She didn't go hungry all day.
I still think it would have been easier if the OP had just refused in the first place though. (And told her she was a twatty bellend) Grin

WhackingPhoenix · 04/03/2022 00:35

Why would you agree to get her something if you had no intention of doing so, then come back happily chomping on your own snacks with no lunch for her? If I nipped to the shop and a colleague asked me to get them something, it would never occur to me to refuse! I’d just grab them what they’d asked for, keep the receipt and sort the money out afterwards.

Is it because you’re A Very Important Manager? Or just because you’re a twat?

Clumsyvolcano · 04/03/2022 01:03

I don’t see the issue with this? You were going to the shop anyway, she asked you for a favour. What’s weird? It would be logical to ask for the money in advance. If you didn’t want to buy it because you’re vegan, that’s fine I suppose, although you’re not the one that would eat it so I don’t get the big thing about this either really. You should have said you didn’t have time or something if you really didn’t want to go.

phishy · 04/03/2022 01:57

OP, I think you’re getting a lot of hate because most of these lot would have got the meal, and then would have felt aggrieved when she inevitably didn’t pay them.

You’ve deviated from sheep like behaviour and need to be punished.

Well done for not getting for something for a rude person who would never have paid you back.

And ignore the vegan bashing. I’m an omnivore but find that omnivores do hold vegans to super high standards whilst tucking into pork chops themselves.

Swipe left for the next trending thread