Jo Malone candles and MIL.

[Flatdeadfrog]

I've name changed as details are a little bit outing as I've talked to friends about this.

My MIL is a bit of a scented candle aficionado and can be a bit precious about the types of scented candles she'll have in the house. That's fair enough, as you like what you like. BUT for mothers day, she has specified she wants a new scented candle for her hall.

DH likes to oblige his mum as she's actually lovely, but his default is to just buy an expensive Jo Malone candle. We don't actually have a Jo Malone budget, as we are feeling the pinch as I am on maternity leave and we're struggling a bit financially because of it.

DH and I have had an argument about it tonight, as I feel that MIL would be upset to think that we're spending our weekly food budget on an expensive candle (and frankly I think it's a waste), but DH really wants to get something nice for his mum. MIL loves scented candles, but something cheaper like a Yankee candle would just be shoved to the back of the cupboard.

AIBU to think MIL can do without a candle this year? Or can anybody recommend anything nice scent/candle wise that wouldn't get wasted like a Yankee candle would?

MIL is lovely, she would be appalled at the idea we'd spent our weekly food shop on a candle, but DH can't see past getting his mum a gift for mothers day and getting what she's asked for.

A gift token for whatever amount your husband wants to pay (out of his personal spending money rather than the household account) sounds like a good idea.

I know two people who have had serious house fires because of candles. Just saying.

Self confessed candle snob here and agree with all the comments about not getting an Aldi dupe it will come across as cheap even if the smell is good.
White company ones are lovely but I bought a St Eval Xmas one for my mum and it was much better then the White Company I bought myself and cheaper! Lesson learnt there.
TKMaxx also do candles that look luxury but won't break the bank.

I don't think you should get Aldi if she normally insists on Jo Malone.
St Eval seems popular on here but not heard of it.
You could also go for Neom or white company. I'm sure MIL will Google if she's not heard of the company.

I agree white company- they are posh enough to be posh. Or go for a smaller travel size one.

I would say I was a bit of a candle obsessive person too, comes from living in an old dark house I suppose. I do love a Jo Malone.. However, there is miles and miles of other options in between a Jo Malone and a yankee candle. To be honest the thought of a yankee candle makes me shudder a bit, but as others have mentioned White Company are gorgeous. Also there is a company called Lower Lodge Candles they manufacture for Jo Malone and their 2kg one is £65 as opposed to JM's £320. The scents are supposed to be gorgeous. The 2kg is massive but they do a smaller candle for £16 which is the same size as a JM for £49. You can also buy the lid which is a JM touch.

lowerlodgecandles.com/collections/oak-hills

MIL is lovely, she would be appalled at the idea we'd spent our weekly food shop on a candle

Not sure that’s true given that’s exactly what she’s asked for you to do. She knows you’re on maternity leave and surely knows they are very expensive.

What's your mum getting and you? Is he forking out 150 for Mother's Day? And when you say the weekly food budget do you literally mean you won't be able to spend as much on food as a result or the equivalent of a weekly shop, that you have in a savings account. I'd spend the equivalent of our weekly shop on DM and DMIL for Mother's Day because they regularly help us out with childcare, financially, support and its a fraction of what they deserve.

Grandmother and mum of 3 and I specifically ask for a text or a call on Mother’s Day; cards and gifts are outlawed these days. Much nicer without feelings of guilt and recriminations.

Speak to mil and say the large candle is not in your budget right now, is there another brand she would like

I used to follow a well known journalist and she had a fascination with all things designer from clothes to shoes, handbags, skin creams and candles. I don't have a designer budget and I'd look daft with standard clothes and a posh bag. One day I was in one of the posher department stores, just for a nosey. They had both dyptique and JM candles so I thought I would buy one of the smaller ones as a treat. Until I saw the price. No way could I justify spending that on 8 hours of nice scent. Sorry OP but you're going to have to stand your ground on this , unless you can buy your MIL gift vouchers towards one for all her occasions this year . I'm sure she will understand

I have to admit i am the same, the cheaper ones smell absolutely vile and fake. However I would rather not have a candle than have a cheaper one, and I would definitely not want my ds and dil to be spending their food budget on a gift for me.

I have a really nice personalised candle from Kindred Fires (online)

I don't think you can scale down as far as Aldi, but Melt or St Eval candles both smell lovely and look posh, and all you have to say is hope you love this DM and apologies, but Jo Malone prices would push our budget into a choice between eating or heating right now. Hope to be back on the jo Malone track next year.

MiL obviously doesn’t realise that you are financially stretched. Did you save and plan for your maternity? Also since your DH is so keen to please is that because she is generous to you both either financially or helping out with dc maybe?

Fwiw I would highly recommend you start a monthly savings account for birthdays and Xmas for all family/dc.

I think you should just buy her something different. If she likes expensive candles isn’t there something you could give that has a similar aesthetic but is less spendy?

If she’s specified that candle surely she knows it’s your shopping budget to buy it?

Jo Malone candles use v cheap ingredients - they are absolutely ludicrously priced, compared to artisan, hand poured, beeswax/soy candles, for example.

I got sucked in for a while, but then got concerned about burning pretty nasty paraffin wax, so ditched them for smaller brands (I buy from two local makers now).

JM have one heck of a PR dept, and great packaging, but crap quality candles, imo.

Someone bought me a candle from a small maker in the Peak District. I can't recall the type, but it was FABULOUS. Gorgeous scent.

Another vote for TKmax

Another vote for White Company.

Sand & Fog from TK Maxx are lovely, and they look quite fancy!

@SlashBeef

Please not Aldi I have a family member that always gives Aldi beauty products and I would hand on heart prefer no gift at all. TK Maxx definitely worth a try.

I'll have them . TK Maxx ones are great. I'm only just starting to get into candles and have yet to spend more than £7 for one - the DW Home ones are really great and keep my room smelling great even after they've been blown out. Eyeing up the suggestions on here though...

The Highland soap company ones are lovely. They are 100 percent soy and look and smell very expensive. I would particularly recommend the honey and whisky one. They cost about 20 pound or 2 for 35. They do lovely giftwrapping too and have matching bathroom products that are also really nice.

@BurscoughBooths

Don’t bother with the Aldi candles; they are in no way comparable with a decent candle. There are decent alternatives to Jo Malone. How much are you wanting DH to spend?

I might have said the same but I have bought the Faux Malone Fig & Cassis candle from Aldi and it’s amazing. I can see why someone might not want to give Aldi as a gift even though I’d be very happy to receive one myself.

There are loads of candle brands, I second St Eval and I have found Ecoya and Neom candles to be long lasting and nice scents; both are not cheap but cheaper than Jo Malone. Jo Malone is so expensive now - I hope their candles’ scents lasts longer than their perfumes!

I "treated" myself to a Neom candle at Christmas and I really hate the smell! Spending money doesn't guarantee you'll like it.
I think it's easy to spend a fair bit for Mother's Day, card, flowers - a meal out would break the budget entirely! So the candle doesn't seem so bad to me to buy instead of other things, unless you wouldn't have done flowers or a lunch out etc anyway.
OP hasn't actually said mil asked for Jo Malone, just that there's some she wouldn't like, so I don't know if there's any others that would be looked on favourably? Maybe something local/farm made or you could make one yourself for her to treasure!