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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we both don't need to do the school run??

86 replies

cantstandhimargh · 02/03/2022 09:08

Need a good old rant before I loose it! 35 weeks pregnant and I've had enough of OH I would quite honestly like him out the house until I have this baby.

I can appreciate I am probably hormonal but I can't see the point in us both needing to do the school run. I get up in the morning do breakfast last nights washing up and fold washing (he promised to do it last night but didn't and spoke to his mum and brother on the phone for 2 hours instead) and I get the kids ready. All he has to do is drop them off but NO apparently I am selfish because DS will have to stand in the rain for a few minutes. So what!!!! He won't die. DD goes in at 8:45 but by time you walk DS round aswell you will probably only be waiting a minute or two (he goes in at 8:50)

He has been on his phone all morning and made the kids late as he was trying to get some limited edition trainers.

I can't be fucked with him at all, the only thing he really does is the school run and I still have to beg him to do that.

He kicked the door like a child before leaving then doing crazy signs at me through the window. He's like a child!

Please am AIBU?

Apologies if my punctuation is horrible I've just had enough and needed to get it out!

OP posts:
Mindymomo · 02/03/2022 09:11

Hope you feel better now you’ve had a good rant. Take care.

FelicityPike · 02/03/2022 09:13

“ He kicked the door like a child before leaving then doing crazy signs at me through the window. He's like a child!”

Well isn’t he a delight?
Ignore him.

GoldenOmber · 02/03/2022 09:14

YANBU, he sounds pretty useless.

Winday · 02/03/2022 09:15

YANBU. Good luck.

Shoxfordian · 02/03/2022 09:15

He sounds like another kid

Ginandplatonic · 02/03/2022 09:17

Oh ffs another selfish, petulant man-child with anger issues. Why do people keep having children with terrible men??

Cocomarine · 02/03/2022 09:18

I’m actually quite cross with you OP.

You do every woman a disservice when you blame a man’s abusive behaviour on female hormones.

Just: no

This man is awful.
Throughly selfish.
That’s got the square root of fuck all to do with you being pregnant.

Onlyforcake · 02/03/2022 09:18

God. He sounds a co olete idiot. I'm very sure lots of people manage the school run with split start times all by themselves. Why is he so useless?

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 02/03/2022 09:19

He kicked a door?

He's abusive.

CheeseTown · 02/03/2022 09:19

What a waste of precious time and energy. Of course he should do both kids if there's only five minutes between their drop offs.

Please don't blame it on hormones
You've got a good reason to be frustrated. I think you need to have a good long chat before the baby is born. He needs to step up otherwise you won't manage once the baby is here.

Spudyoulikeit · 02/03/2022 09:19

Yanbu though there are so many families at my DCs school where both parents do the school run every day. No idea why 🤷‍♀️ Taking it in turns seems more logical to me.

Whatwouldscullydo · 02/03/2022 09:19

No you don't need to both go.

How does he think everyone else manages

Ragwort · 02/03/2022 09:21

I mean this kindly but why, why why do women keep having DC with useless men? I know I will be accused of victim blaming and it's 'too late' for this OP but we have countless threads like this on Mumsnet year after year .... does anyone ever read the threads and think before having a second, third child ...... with someone who has already shown themselves to be an incompetent father?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 02/03/2022 09:21

He's being an arse. He meant he didn't want to stand out in the rain.

SUPerSaver721 · 02/03/2022 09:22

He sounds awful, what age is he to be spending all morning on the phone trying to buy limited edition trainers. He sounds about 19 to me. Honestly your having a third child with him. Does he even work?

Sausagedogsarethebest · 02/03/2022 09:22

Go to the shop, buy the heaviest melon you can find, tie it to him, making sure it's pressing firmly on his bladder, then ask him to do the school run.

Honestly OP he sounds like a loser. He's not doing his share of parenting (or housework) and behaves like a spoilt child - a tantruming toddler to be more accurate. I dread to think what your life is going to be like once you have a baby to manage as well. Can't see this relationship lasting the course if he doesn't step up and take some responsibility.

SprayedWithDettol · 02/03/2022 09:23

I’d send him permanently to live with his mother as he obviously likes her more.

BobbinHood · 02/03/2022 09:24

He sounds like a loser and not someone to have a third, second or even first baby with but here you are.

riverpebbles · 02/03/2022 09:25

What an absolute twat.

Cocomarine · 02/03/2022 09:26

@CheeseTown

What a waste of precious time and energy. Of course he should do both kids if there's only five minutes between their drop offs.

Please don't blame it on hormones
You've got a good reason to be frustrated. I think you need to have a good long chat before the baby is born. He needs to step up otherwise you won't manage once the baby is here.

She will though. Manage. Just like she’s managed with the 2 she already has. Begging (literally her word: beg) for the small amount he actually does, and muddling through with the rest. This is what happens - women are subjected to this crap and they manage. Then they bring child #3 into the shitshow, and carry on managing that, too.

You really think, “a good long chat” is going to fix a selfish arsehole who already has to be begged to do a school run, and responds by making the children late, then kicking a door, then making “crazy” gestures through a window?

Don’t be naïve.

A good long talk is for the good man who dashes off to work and hasn’t realised that putting his breakfast dishes first in the sink would be appreciated.

The only good long talk that deals with abusing men, is the good long talk about the divorce that’s underway.

Rainbowqueeen · 02/03/2022 09:26

Tell him you’ve been thinking and you are happy to switch jobs. So he gets kids ready and you do school run.

Actually I’d be getting my ducks in a row abs putting together an exit plan. Not saying you need to use it right away but it will make you stronger subconsciously if you have a back up plan.

DinoWino · 02/03/2022 09:27

YABU to be thinking any of this is due to you being hormonal. He’s just an arse. Why was he on the phone to his mum and brother for two hours? Unless it was some kind of family emergency then he should have had the dishes and washing folded as agreed. Stop picking up the slack for him he should have being doing that this morning instead of dicking around ordering limited edition trainers (is he a teenager?!) Srand up for yourself OP.

Two parents are not needed for a school run with only 5mins split start times. You already know this though. You need to have a serious chat with him about pulling his weight.

Sparkletastic · 02/03/2022 09:28

He sounds very immature.

whoruntheworldgirls · 02/03/2022 09:30

He's an absolute arsehole OP, he had children, he has to contribute towards their needs!

DinoWino · 02/03/2022 09:31

Actually cocomarine has made an excellent point about futility of having a serious chat so I take that back. Just tell him to buck up or ship out

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