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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we both don't need to do the school run??

86 replies

cantstandhimargh · 02/03/2022 09:08

Need a good old rant before I loose it! 35 weeks pregnant and I've had enough of OH I would quite honestly like him out the house until I have this baby.

I can appreciate I am probably hormonal but I can't see the point in us both needing to do the school run. I get up in the morning do breakfast last nights washing up and fold washing (he promised to do it last night but didn't and spoke to his mum and brother on the phone for 2 hours instead) and I get the kids ready. All he has to do is drop them off but NO apparently I am selfish because DS will have to stand in the rain for a few minutes. So what!!!! He won't die. DD goes in at 8:45 but by time you walk DS round aswell you will probably only be waiting a minute or two (he goes in at 8:50)

He has been on his phone all morning and made the kids late as he was trying to get some limited edition trainers.

I can't be fucked with him at all, the only thing he really does is the school run and I still have to beg him to do that.

He kicked the door like a child before leaving then doing crazy signs at me through the window. He's like a child!

Please am AIBU?

Apologies if my punctuation is horrible I've just had enough and needed to get it out!

OP posts:
Original poster
cantstandhimargh · 02/03/2022 11:12

@77kidsandcounting my back hurts when I do the washing up I just end up slumped over the sink. Also not everyone's pregnancy is the same so I'm not sure why you are comparing yours and mine..

He wasn't like this before though I never seen signs of me ending up with such a useless husband but then DS only started school last year. Everything was much more laid back but now that he has to do actual parent things he despises it.

OP posts:
redandwhite1 · 02/03/2022 11:13

Wow what a baby!!

We collect together on the rare occasion we can but drop off never

lifeuphigh · 02/03/2022 11:14

I was going to say YABU because there are a couple of families at DD's school where both parents do the school run and I think it's lovely. I wish DH was able to spend that much time with us.

Then I read your post. I think the only unreasonable thing about it is that you're blaming your (totally valid) upset on your hormones.

Arabellla · 02/03/2022 11:27

He's a twat, read him the riot act and dump him if he doesn't act.

(he promised to do it last night but didn't and spoke to his mum and brother on the phone for 2 hours instead)

Is this the guy who calls each family member for 1 hour each night, taking 5 hours each night in total?

Iamkmackered1979 · 02/03/2022 11:37

There’s one thing being a single parent and doing it all because there is no one else to help and another doing it all whilst someone else sits on their arse. Just don’t do it, make sure kids are fed and dressed but do nothing for him. I could not put up with that
Sorry you are going through this. Hard to know what to say as leaving or chucking him out whilst you’re 35 weeks pregnant isn’t really great for you but I’d certainly be thinking about it strongly. Doesn’t he work?

LowlandLucky · 02/03/2022 11:39

Do nothing for him, let him sort his own laundry, let him prepare his own meals, making a cuppa ? only make one for you. When he moans tell him if he wants to be part of the family he needs to bloody grow up.

SartresSoul · 02/03/2022 11:47

This has nothing to do with your hormones and everything to do with the fact you’re married to a massive man child. I don’t think he will change so it’s your choice whether you continue putting up with it or leave. He sounds like a dick.

Stompythedinosaur · 02/03/2022 11:54

He sounds like an arsehole.

herehere35 · 02/03/2022 12:07

Oh YANBU

When I was pregnant my OH did everything in the mornings. Got our DD up/ dressed/ breakfast/ drop off & pick up every day. Still does it now. What an a** your OH is.

Hope you feel better and please don't get out of bed tomorrow morning 😬

Whereohwhereohwhere · 02/03/2022 12:10

YANBU. He sounds awful.

BlingLoving · 02/03/2022 12:10

So he doesn't do the household chores he said he would do. When you do them, he doesn't feel bad or apologise that you have to do them (the fact that you're pregnant it irrelevant - if DH says he'll do a chore, he does it. And if he doesn't, he feels bad and makes it up to me).

And then on top of that, he can't bear to look after his two children for 5 minutes?

Sounds like a prince. Not sure what you're getting out of this relationship quite honestly.

AryaStarkWolf · 02/03/2022 12:10

YANBU what an asshole and what shitty childish behaviour

SleepingStandingUp · 02/03/2022 12:14

DS only started school last year. Everything was much more laid back but now that he has to do actual parent things he despises it. why didn't he do any actual parent things before school?

PinkSyCo · 02/03/2022 12:21

Well he sounds a real peach doesn’t he? I feel sorry for your kids having to witness his horrible behaviour all because their petulant, immature father to take the poor things to school. Does he work OP?

AryaStarkWolf · 02/03/2022 12:23

@cantstandhimargh

The thing is though when I speak to him about it he doesn't seem to understand. All he ever says is plenty of women are heavily pregnant and just get on with it. He will see me bent over the sink washing up struggling and he won't offer to help.

I think I am just going to have to suck it up until baby is here and grin and bare it. But I've really had enough everything he does makes me cringe as I feel like I'm in a relationship with a child not a nearly 32 year old.

What a fucking Prince :/ Plenty of heavily pregnant "just get on with it" like who is he talking about, who are all these heavily pregnant women he knows who don't get any extra help from their partners. Would he tell a heavily pregnant woman on a bus that she doesn't need his seat because plenty of heavily pregnant women just get on with it and don't need to sit?
runsmidgeOMG · 02/03/2022 12:26

What does he contribute OP ? Sorry if I've missed anything but does he work? Not that excuses his behaviour in ANY way just wondering what he brings to the table (if anything)
Thanks for you!

dworky · 02/03/2022 12:31

LTB. Seriously.

dfendyr · 02/03/2022 12:37

Has he just changed or has he always been like this?

Is he likely to be 'better' after you have the 3rd child?

pictish · 02/03/2022 12:43

Why do you have to go too? Do you take the children separately?

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 02/03/2022 12:47

Why are you with him, op?

What does he contribute?

Does he know anything about pregnancy and the strain it puts on a woman's body??

I swear I've never seen so many threads about useless and abusive men as I have this week on Mumsnet. It's frustrating and heartbreaking.

hangrylady · 02/03/2022 12:57

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

He kicked a door?

He's abusive.

Bit dramatic
LittleOwl153 · 02/03/2022 19:33

I think I am just going to have to suck it up until baby is here and grin and bare it.

This is why these men do this... because women let them.

Stand up for yourself OP. It does not take 2 people to take 2 children to school 5 minutes apart - even when it's raining!

If he won't offer to help with the washing up when you are struggling - stop doing it! Tell him you can't do it as your back hurts so he needs to. If he doesn't do it - leave it!

Cocogreen · 02/03/2022 19:41

"I swear I've never seen so many threads about useless and abusive men as I have this week on Mumsnet. It's frustrating and heartbreaking"

Yes I've been aghast @whiteworldgettingwhiter and I can't bring myself to comment on most of them because these poor women are usually the most vulnerable, pregnant or sahms.
I feel like it's kicking people when they're down to say LTB because I want to say that every thread.
I despair for these poor women and the pieces of shit men they're with, it's so depressing.

pilates · 02/03/2022 19:51

Does he have a job?
So he doesn’t help with the children you already have, doesn’t help with chores and behaves like a badly behaved child himself. Kicking the door - what sort of role model is he? Doesn’t bode well for you, sorry 😞

optimistic40 · 02/03/2022 20:14

No. I'm sorry. He's a knob :-(

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