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Original poster

"The pram doesnt go in the house before the baby does"

262 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/03/2022 01:39

Just watching some call the midwife on catch up. A father who has had a few says "I can see the pram from here [in the hall of their home], that makes me happy!"

But it wouldnt have been in the house would it? My grandma and my mother were both absolutely horrified when I bought my pram and took it home. It was horribly bad luck. I was led to believe that this was standard, it really upset my grandma in particular.

Of course what it really was was that back then there was a much bigger risk of the baby not coming home, so you made sure the baby was alive before buying the pram.

This wasnt just my family was it? I just dont remember anyone else who had kids after me, I was pretty much the first in my group, getting this from their mothers so it has made me wonder....

OP posts:
naffusername · 02/03/2022 01:42

You are right.

I didn't have the pram or the cot in the house before number one son was born.

My Mum drilled it into me.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 02/03/2022 01:46

Thanks......I did wonder!

I remember asking why, when if a second child was born the pram would already be there it wasnt bad luck, but it was different because the pram was there for the eldest. At least thats what mum said.

OP posts:
Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 02/03/2022 01:49

I have just remembered something else.

My mum was shocked that the pram place didnt let us put money down, and the shop store the pram, and then we would go back after the baby is born to get it. That was standard practice for her and grandma.

I do remember saying that I wasnt risking them closing down and keeping my money!

OP posts:
Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 02/03/2022 01:50

It was a more common superstition then, but that doesn't mean everyone did it.

Wednesdayafternoon · 02/03/2022 01:51

I didn't with my first (my mum wouldn't allow it) but with my second I had to due to him being born in the first lockdown! 😳

TheSandgroper · 02/03/2022 02:21

Family had bought all new baby stuff and brought it home to unwrap and parked it on the veranda to gas off. But then had a stillbirth and it all had to go back. That was hard.

User839516 · 02/03/2022 02:54

Before I had DC1 I didn’t buy anything for the baby until really last minute as it just felt like tempting fate and my mum said that was always pretty standard in her day anyway. We put a deposit down on a pram and the shop kept it for us until baby was due. My parents picked it up and brought it to us once baby was here. Obviously now with DC3 I have all the stuff in the house already but I still haven’t taken any of it out of the cupboard or bought anything new for the baby. I’m not really superstitious normally. I can’t cope when people plaster their pregnancy all over social media either, that also feels like tempting fate to me. I’ve yet to ‘announce’ a pregnancy 😬

HeyBlaby · 02/03/2022 03:10

My parents and grandparents never bought into this or other superstitions, so though it might have been common it certainly wasn't everyone.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 02/03/2022 03:19

"Tempting Fate".... that was the phrase I have been trying to think of that my mother uses.

OP posts:
Mrbay · 02/03/2022 03:28

My baby is 3 months old and I wasn't allowed my pram at home until I brought her home - my mum's wishes and I was very happy to allow her to do this

Hellolittlestar · 02/03/2022 03:31

It’s just a superstition, but to be honest I’m not keen on baby showers and fully decorated baby nurseries.

Beemail1 · 02/03/2022 03:40

Put outside to gas off?

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 02/03/2022 03:42

@TheSandgroper

Family had bought all new baby stuff and brought it home to unwrap and parked it on the veranda to gas off. But then had a stillbirth and it all had to go back. That was hard.
Oh that is absolutely heartbreaking, I am so sorry
OP posts:
Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 02/03/2022 03:44

@Beemail1

Put outside to gas off?
I read it to mean "put outside to air" but I could be wrong.
OP posts:
sashh · 02/03/2022 03:46

A couple of weeks before I was born the midwife thought I might be twins (pre ultrasound) and my mother's response was to burst in to tears because, "I've ordered my pram, and they don't do a twin version".

It was normal to order a pram and then pay it of weekly. I suppose that might be another reason not to have the pram at home, you might come home with more than one baby, a much nicer reason to not have the pram in the house.

Also when your family was complete, you never got rid of everything because well then you have tempted fate again.

Hydrate · 02/03/2022 04:07

I did not know of this superstition, and we had everything set up weeks ahead of my due dates.

StrangerYears · 02/03/2022 04:08

I've been doing my family tree. in 1920s (gulp- a hundred years ago) a lot of my family were still born/.died shortly after birth/ died during birth. So i guess assuming a baby might not come home was reasonably common until our grandparents era.
Mass vaccinations and better natal care has turned that all on its head (ie reduced risk hugely) but superstitions are still rife

Thefaceofboe · 02/03/2022 04:13

If sometimes going to happen to your baby it’s happening regardless of whether you brought a pram into the house. My mum told me not to and I told her to stop being ridiculous. It was unpractical, we had no where else to put it.

Bez3627 · 02/03/2022 04:18

@TheSandgroper

Family had bought all new baby stuff and brought it home to unwrap and parked it on the veranda to gas off. But then had a stillbirth and it all had to go back. That was hard.
So sorry. That would be excruciatingly painful.
Bez3627 · 02/03/2022 04:22

I have some friends who are immigrants from a village in an African nation who had a baby not long ago. Their culture is very much not to discuss the pregnancy in detail or have a baby shower before the birth. Most likely for similar reasons of higher child mortality.

It was a bit of a culture clash when their friends here wanted to pepper them with questions about how the pregnancy was going, how many weeks along, etc etc and to them, that was very intrusive and not the done thing.

StopStartStop · 02/03/2022 04:26

Not just your family. Expensive items like the pram and cot were bought (sometimes paid in instalments) and stayed at the shop until the baby came home. A lot of babies died. My great grandma had sixteen surviving children. Another of my great grandmas had nine and raised them all.

EmmaH2022 · 02/03/2022 04:26

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy

It was a more common superstition then, but that doesn't mean everyone did it.
Exactly.
Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 02/03/2022 04:34

Perhaps I should add that I had my first child in 1990, my mother had me in 1973 and my grandmother, the one who was most vocal about the baby crossing the threshold before the pram,had her first child in 1939.

So it is totally understandable why she felt that a live baby was a gift not an expectation.

OP posts:
Whattodoniw · 02/03/2022 04:39

@Hellolittlestar

It’s just a superstition, but to be honest I’m not keen on baby showers and fully decorated baby nurseries.

Agree with this one hundred percent

CarelessWhisper001 · 02/03/2022 04:54

@Bez3627 - this is what I don't understand, my MIL was adamant that I needed a baby shower but was completely appalled that we had the pram in the house.

I was against having a baby shower due to previous MCs and didn't want to 'tempt fate' as it were. Yet to me, having the pram ready to go towards the end of my pregnancy was one less thing to stress/ think about and I'd not even heard about the 'no pram in the house rule' until MIL got upset about it.