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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Come tell me I’m an awful mum

314 replies

PancakeDisaster · 01/03/2022 18:11

Pancake day obviously

I always dread it. I’m a fairly ok cook but there are two things I can’t do, fry anything or mash anything. I burn fried stuff or undercook it and I can never get none lumpy mash.

I had ago at making pancakes for DD and I.

Whatever I did it didn’t work as it came out lumpy and uncooked in the middle.

DD (aged 7) is now crying saying all her friends at school will be having pancakes and it’s not fair – she’s right, from FB I can see at least 20 of the 26 in her class have had pancakes today. She’s stomped off to her room after telling me she hates me.

Just me and her at home so no-one else to have another attempt. I’ve used all my milk, flour and eggs trying to make them, I had several attempts.

Why am I so useless? Tell me I’m an awful mother and she’s never going to forgive me.

DD doesn't like the ready made pancakes (finds them salty) and last year I had one of those ready made batters and it still went wrong!

OP posts:
Girlmumdogmumboymum · 01/03/2022 20:38

@PancakeDisaster

Pancake day obviously

I always dread it. I’m a fairly ok cook but there are two things I can’t do, fry anything or mash anything. I burn fried stuff or undercook it and I can never get none lumpy mash.

I had ago at making pancakes for DD and I.

Whatever I did it didn’t work as it came out lumpy and uncooked in the middle.

DD (aged 7) is now crying saying all her friends at school will be having pancakes and it’s not fair – she’s right, from FB I can see at least 20 of the 26 in her class have had pancakes today. She’s stomped off to her room after telling me she hates me.

Just me and her at home so no-one else to have another attempt. I’ve used all my milk, flour and eggs trying to make them, I had several attempts.

Why am I so useless? Tell me I’m an awful mother and she’s never going to forgive me.

DD doesn't like the ready made pancakes (finds them salty) and last year I had one of those ready made batters and it still went wrong!

You're not a shit mum cos you can't make pancakes. I'll tell you what we always do, go for pancakes out on pancake day. Yes it costs a bit more, but it takes all the stress out of it and we enjoy the time together at a dessert restaurant.
Crystalvas · 01/03/2022 20:39

By the way OP your not an awful mum, your totally amazing the fact you’v done your best for your DC to make her pan cakes is amazing. Never put yourself down as mum, you do your best each day for her and thats amazing. So keep doing what you are doing. Because what your doing is what great mums tend to do.

Lalliella · 01/03/2022 20:40

It’s not acceptable for her to say she hates you over this. You need to tell her that.

Wnikat · 01/03/2022 20:40

I too have failed to make a single edible pancake. I too have been castigated by a 7 year old. Solidarity. One day they will appreciate that we tried…

Sewingsusan · 01/03/2022 20:42

Sorry to hear your troubles.
DD loves pancakes and make these weekly.
Makes 3 pancakes.

  1. Place 150ml milk in measuring jug.
  2. crack one egg into jug and give it mix with whisk.
  3. add 50g plain flour, a little at a time and whisk it regularly. Heat butter in pan, pour 1/3 red mixture and cook for about 1-2 minute each side or until it’s cooked. Enjoy.
UserError012345 · 01/03/2022 20:42

Just buy the mixture in a bottle and just add water. Lazy, yes but also fail proof.

Onceuponatimethen · 01/03/2022 20:44

My mother used to make some nasty food when we were growing up. Her boiled potatoes were particularly unpalatable. Sometimes I got grumpy as a kid.

But I adore her - she’s so much more than some of the gritty food. Op if everyone growing up in the uk had a mum who cared like you clearly do the world would be a much better place.

RoyKentsChestHair · 01/03/2022 20:46

I used to make terrible pancakes but I’ve found that the batter needs to be a lot runnier than you imagine. I ladle the batter into the pan, swirl it around and then tip the spare out (making sure not to tip out the half cooked pancake as well!) to make them really thin.

Get some eggs and flour tomorrow and have another go, plus side is that the supermarkets will probably have a load of half price eggs and frying pans Wink

blobby10 · 01/03/2022 20:49

You’re not a crap mum!!! My ex was a brilliant pancake maker (also a tosser but not of the pancakes 🤣🤣) but I can’t make them even with a special crepe pan that’s used for nothing else! He used a rough measuring system -
I weighed everything and still can’t do batter- can’t do Yorkshire puds either

Sunnierdays7 · 01/03/2022 20:52

Bless you for trying. Your daughter needs to understand that you tried your best.
Every year mine have failed until we invested in a very good non stick pan. It must be hot then we poured in pre made batter.
They worked first time ever x

katepilar · 01/03/2022 20:53

Sorry you are feeling you are a bad mum because of pancakes. They are not diffucult but somewhat tricky if anyone hasnt showed you how to do them.
If you were round the corner from me I'd come round and show you. I love making pancakes.
Its easy to loose it over pancakes in these times, both for you and your daughter. Be kind to yourself.

BlokeHereInPeace · 01/03/2022 20:54

Read the thread, people, or at least the OP's follow ups. All ended very well.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 01/03/2022 20:54

Fuck, I forgot about pancake day so you're a better mum than me. :o

It was meatball Tuesday in the Sugarbean house.

bultaoreune · 01/03/2022 20:56

I can make good pankcakes but I didn't know it was pancake day. Even if I knew I wouldn't have bothered. I am grateful for my child's teacher for doing it with them as an activity and making them for her class. She is a star!

User280905 · 01/03/2022 20:57

My pancakes were excellent, even if I do say so myself. Flipped to perfection. Then I got the full jar of Nutella out of the cupboard only to find it almost completely empty. Ds8 had a huge strop, the other 2 weighed in yelling at him to stop yelling, everyone was yelling, I left them to it and went for a bath. There's now a beautiful pile of cold pancakes sitting on the side with no-one eating them because there's no Nutella. Ungrateful shits, the teenagers could easily have walked to the shops for Nutella but instead stood around yelling at each other.

tkwal · 01/03/2022 20:59

You are not an awful mum . You tried, you care about your daughter. A PP pointed out that years ago there wasn't such a fuss over days like this and to be honest, my Mum , although she was fantastic at baking other things never mastered pancakes and ended up buying a packet of Kingsmill or ownbrand ones from the supermarket, if she remembered at all. If you want an easy and healthy option I could give you a recipe ? It needs 1 ripe banana, 1 egg and one dessertspoon of flour. Mash banana until very smooth, beat egg and add to banana, mix in flour. Cook in a pan at medium heat that has just been wiped with oil. Use a spoon to put dollops in the pan and you will have cute little mini pancakes that are gorgeous with honey , syrup, chocolate spread or fresh berries

SmolCat · 01/03/2022 21:04

I bet if you had put them on a plate saying “these are the best pancakes ever” she would have happily eaten them. If you’re down on yourself she will be too.

katepilar · 01/03/2022 21:05

@TheProvincialLady

Your daughter has behaved really badly. Saying “I hate you” for some failed pancakes is just horrible. I wouldn’t bother trying to make any more this year if that’s her attitude.
As a parent you need to guide little child through emotions and how to express them. Not to punish them for emotions.
INeedNewShoes · 01/03/2022 21:08

My hunch is that it's not your parenting that's the problem here, but your pan!

If you can't fry eggs or pancakes successfully either you need a new non-stick pan or you need to use more oil.

BoredZelda · 01/03/2022 21:09

A PP pointed out that years ago there wasn't such a fuss over days like this

Shrove tuesday, and having pancakes was a pretty big thing when I was a child - over 40 years ago.

Weekendvibes · 01/03/2022 21:13

Pancakes are so easy, anyone who can't Make one must be pretty useless! How on earth do manage to get through life if simple tasks prove such a bloody challenge?

How do you get through life without someone punching you in the face for being such an annoying and spiteful cunt?

BluebellsGreenbells · 01/03/2022 21:16

Weekendvibes

👏

BoredZelda · 01/03/2022 21:28

From 1985

Creameggs223 · 01/03/2022 21:37

I haven't made mine dc haven't mentioned them and I just can't be bothered after a long day so will do them tmz or when the dc ask about them.

anothernamedoesntsmellsosweet · 01/03/2022 21:38

Just have a go tomorrow. Practice in the day and by the time she is home from school you are well practised and full of pancakes. Win win. We had pancakes last week too. I love pancakes. Savoury ones are super easy. 3 tablespoons of flour, 3 tablespoons of milk and one egg per person. Then add fillings to batter. We have ham, cheese and sweet corn. Yum and so simple your dd can make them for herself x

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