To find them really intrusive, now?

[IAmAFuckingIdiot]

We've traditionally been close to my in-laws - DH is an only child, and I don't have parents, so it worked quite well.

When we got engaged, MIL started behaving really poorly. They became really controlling and difficult; and ignoring any boundaries. MIL's wedding antics have been a thread themselves, but I've tried to be forgiving.

To cut a long story short, they were then nightmares during my pregnancy, and I wish we'd never told them, quite honestly. They visited the hospital multiple times, guessing when I was in labour if we didn't reply to them fast enough, and then when I actually was, kicked off and had to be removed. I was preparing to be air transferred during a traumatic labour... They still don't even think they did anything wrong, they've said they won't apologise as they'd do it again.

Last week DH and I went out to eat after work, with our baby. We weren't in our town, but the next one over. The in-laws showed up and took over. MIL upset the baby, and me, and I was physically shaking throughout. They didn't leave for an hour and a half; after which the baby was inconsolable, I was stressed and my food had been taken away cold because I'd been trying to get the baby back. She ignored me completely; and kept telling DH that the baby seemed sad and wouldn't stop looking at him...

Me and DH have had words about what happened. I hope I've dealt with that angle...

But I don't believe for a second that they turned up accidentally; FIL initially suggested that they'd driven to ours (an hour away) so MIL could see the baby, and then drove around pubs to find us as we weren't in...

And I find that, and them overall, so intrusive. They've messaged DH saying how thrilled they were to see us... I was not. They demand photos. They could see us daily and it'd never be enough. MIL moans about everything, it's always a slight on her... me breastfeeding, us having a boy, etc.

I'm dreading Mother's Day. MIL will want a full day and a big meal... I don't usually mind it; but right now, they put me so on edge. I feel like crying when they're around and the CPTSD symptoms are awful for a day or so before and afterwards.

Is this unreasonable? I'm happy for DH to go by himself whenever he wants to, but he won't want to.

@IAmAFuckingIdiot
This is quite a frightening post. I am very laid back with in-laws who are obsessed with my kids but oh my god, this is scary territory.

Turning up in a hospital when you hadnt asked and had to be REMOVED? Was it my hospital staff? Anyone who had to be forcibly removed from somewhere, I would be very worried about.

The driving round and searching for you is very worrying. I can’t believe anyone would minimise this.

If you wrote this as a man searching for a woman who he was obsessed with and she hadn’t told him where she was it would be stalker behaviour.

I understand this from an only child perspective as well. My DP calls me, if I dont answer, calls DH, if he doesnt answer, calls DC. Also can turn up unannounced. It has never felt as threatening as your posts sound though. Would never turn up at a private appointment or meal. Also, its not often, think fortnightly.