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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to take child out of school

105 replies

Samantha312 · 27/02/2022 07:55

So MIL asked DH if we could take DD put of school for the day to celebrate great grandparents birthday on a narrow boat. Weekend slots are not available so a weekday is the only option. Although DD is only in reception I feel reluctant to take her out of school, or AIBU and she would benefit from this more than a day at school. It is an important birthday and obviously will mean a lot to the great grandparent.

OP posts:
araiwa · 27/02/2022 07:56

I wouldn't think twice

ClutterofStarlings · 27/02/2022 07:57

Honestly? If it’s one day and she’s only in reception, I would take her out, but then, where I live, you wouldn’t get a fine.

AllYouCanEatBrestaurant · 27/02/2022 07:57

Some things are worth missing a day of school. Celebrating with an elderly relative is one of them in my book.

lucylucyapplejuicy · 27/02/2022 07:58

YABU she is not going to miss anything in 1 day off especially in reception let her celebrate with family and be part of their special day

Porcupineintherough · 27/02/2022 07:58

She will have many days in reception, thousands more in school but this is her one chance to celebrate her great grandads birthday on a narrow boat. Not all education happens in the classroom, let her go.

LaurieFairyCake · 27/02/2022 07:58

On a narrow boat is a fabulous day out - how special for her, I wouldn't hesitate

Friendshipqn · 27/02/2022 07:59

She will love it - do it!

BendingSpoons · 27/02/2022 08:00

Tricky. I wouldn't be too keen in that once you have done it once, there may be other reasons to do the same e.g. someone else's significant birthday. Could it not be scheduled in the nearest holidays?

On the other hand, as a genuine one off it won't make much difference for one day. I'm not convinced they learn that much per day!

I don't think I would personally but can see why others would.

Twiglets1 · 27/02/2022 08:00

What's one day out of reception class? All she will miss is a bit of finger painting or story time. YABU

GeneLovesJezebel · 27/02/2022 08:01

Do school day it’s ok to take her out for that reason ?

EnjoyingTheSilence · 27/02/2022 08:01

I would take her out of school. If you’re worried that it’ll start something with your mil thinking you’ll always do this, let her know it’s because it’s a very special day and she’s so young, but this won’t be a frequent thing

Have an amazing time, it’ll be great for everyone

Original poster
Samantha312 · 27/02/2022 08:03

I would love her to go, I just don’t know how to go about it. If I request it it will be declined anyway?

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 27/02/2022 08:05

Take her out. She's 4 years old and when she is 74 she may enjoy looking at a photo of her on a narrow boat with her great-grandparents and four generations of her family. Missing one day of reception won't make any difference at all.

PicaK · 27/02/2022 08:06

She could get a sickness bug and be off for 48h. It won't affect her schooling. So 1 day celebrating won't either.

Friendshipqn · 27/02/2022 08:07

Is she 5 yet? If so, when did she turn 5?

If you don’t want the hassle of telling school the real reason, you can always just call in sick. Of course, she’ll tell them what really happened when they ask if she’s feeling better! And I wouldn’t worry about it. I used to be a teacher and kids do and will tell (it’s actually quite funny - But I didn’t judge the parents or anything like that!). Don’t coach her, just let it happen. You won’t get into any trouble.

user1469770863 · 27/02/2022 08:08

Retired reception class teacher here. Please take her. Your little girl's education will be made up of so many things. She may miss a tiny bit of school based learning for the one day, but she will gain so much more .. the narrow boat trip ( how exciting, and I recommend you read to her 'Snowy', a lovely children book about a child who lived on one) also the reinforcement that she is part of a multi-generational family who love her and want her to be part of a special day. Please take her... I would have said this to any of the thousands of children I taught over a thirty five year career.

Riseholme · 27/02/2022 08:08

Because she's not legally obliged to be in school at 4 I don't think the school can decline your request.
When mine were in primary the teachers never had a problem with the odd day off school of it was a special event.
That was 18 years ago though and there's a lot more ridiculous rules.

Friendshipqn · 27/02/2022 08:08

I ask if she’s 5 yet because there’s no legal requirement for her to be in school until the term after she turns 5!

So if she’s 4, or just 5, tell them and they can’t say no.

naanbread2 · 27/02/2022 08:09

Don't pretend she's ill as reception kids are incapable of keeping up a lie.
Explain to the teacher what the plan is but ham it up loads (eg - she's very elderly, we haven't seen her since pre-covid, family from abroad are coming who have never met dd etc).

Sometimeswinning · 27/02/2022 08:10

If she's 4 I don't think you even need a reason. If she's 5 make the request and keep her hone regardless of the decision. They'll know where she is when she's off and you won't need to lie on the day.

Toddlerteaplease · 27/02/2022 08:11

@user1469770863 my retired primary teacher mum, would also say exactly the same!

icklekid · 27/02/2022 08:11

They can’t authorise the absence but I’d still complete the holiday form so you don’t need to lie and say she was ill on the day

Cattitudes · 27/02/2022 08:12

I would talk to the school, or rather get dh to talk to them, they have some discretion especially in reception. They will probably say they can't authorise it but they think she will have fun. Make it clear to MIL that it is an exception due to the event and her being in reception.

nearlyspringyay · 27/02/2022 08:12

We asked formally for a day off in reception, for my fil's wedding, it was declined and dts were 4! Obviously we took them out anyway, and I would in your case op, I'd just call in sick to save the hassle though.

DDivaStar · 27/02/2022 08:15

One day at that age will make no difference to her education. How lovely she is able to spend time with a great grandparent.

They can't authorise it but request and go anyway or just phone in to say she's not well.