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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to take child out of school

105 replies

Samantha312 · 27/02/2022 07:55

So MIL asked DH if we could take DD put of school for the day to celebrate great grandparents birthday on a narrow boat. Weekend slots are not available so a weekday is the only option. Although DD is only in reception I feel reluctant to take her out of school, or AIBU and she would benefit from this more than a day at school. It is an important birthday and obviously will mean a lot to the great grandparent.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 27/02/2022 09:21

@Samantha312

I would love her to go, I just don’t know how to go about it. If I request it it will be declined anyway?
All you do is write to the school, tell them your dd will be absent and why. They may say that it will go down as an unauthorised absence - then nothing else will happen.
LittleOwl153 · 27/02/2022 09:23

Unless she was 5 before 31st Jan, she is not actually compulsory school age anyway and therefore there is no 'authorisation' or otherwise.

Just tell her teacher what is happening and that it is a big birthday for grandparent. I'm sure they will send her off with their blessing. She will be marked absent - so what!

Please don't lie ir expect your child to lie. She will want to share her experience with her friends and the teachers will know. They will potentially tially think less of you for not being honest. As your daughter gets older you will have to take the unauthorised absence hit on occasions. School have to hold the line. However most schools/teachers are aware that life just isn't like that.

LittleOwl153 · 27/02/2022 09:24

31st Dec that should say.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 27/02/2022 09:29

@topcat2014

I wouldn't do it, and I would judge the GPs for not valuing education. But then I am one of life's rule following dullards :)
Not valuing education 😂 It's one day and the child is 4 or 5. Not all education happens in a classroom you know

OP just let the teacher know. It's really not the big deal you feel it is and in a year's time you'll wonder what you were worried about

goodnightgrumble · 27/02/2022 09:31

Do it! Talking as a teacher here too of early years.

Abraxan · 27/02/2022 09:33

It's one day. In my school it wouldn't be officially authorised as such but it wouldn't cause any issues at all.

There are very few school years/days that I wouldn't have allowed Dd to miss one day for such an occasion, let alone in reception.

MissMaple82 · 27/02/2022 09:34

Whaaat?? Let your child enjoy a day with their grandson a boat, what an amazing day for a young child. You are being unreasonable, they are in reception for christ sake!! Why begrudge your child and the grandparents one sodding day of a year! Get a grip

Lulu1919 · 27/02/2022 09:35

Do it !!!

Abraxan · 27/02/2022 09:35

Oh and yes, don't lie about it. Your Dd may tell them anyway. Just send/leave a message that states that Dd is absent due to a family event, and leave it as that.

No one will chase it up.

I teach and no one would be concerned about this type of thing.

WaterBottle123 · 27/02/2022 09:35

You don't need the school's permission OP! They might mark it as 'unauthorised' but that has zero consequences for you. Especially for a reception child.

I'd do it. Have done in fact

HairyScaryMonster · 27/02/2022 09:35

Was she 5 before Christmas? It's not even an issue if she's still 4, not compulsory school age til term after 5.

I know the school would be delighted for her to have such a special experience.

RedRobin100 · 27/02/2022 09:35

Seriously OP..

StripeyDeckchair · 27/02/2022 09:35

Don't call in sick.

She's 4.

She will talk to everyone in school about the trip. This will highlight the lie and no-one will believe you any time she is genuinely ill.

Neenawneenaw76 · 27/02/2022 09:36

@Porcupineintherough

She will have many days in reception, thousands more in school but this is her one chance to celebrate her great grandads birthday on a narrow boat. Not all education happens in the classroom, let her go.
Absolutely this!
OwlinaTree · 27/02/2022 09:38

@Twiglets1

What's one day out of reception class? All she will miss is a bit of finger painting or story time. YABU
Cheers for that. Hmm

Take her out, it's a one off. I teach reception and I'd tell you to go especially if her attendance is good on the whole.

PushingAnElephantUpTheStairs · 27/02/2022 09:39

Please do it. Time with great grandparents is very special.

And I'm laughing lots at the person who would judge you for not 'valuing education'. At that age, most of learning should be through play and discovery. Being on a narrowboat is an incredibly rich learning experience. Being around family and learning about customs and behaviour is also very valuable.

And even if none of thay was true, a special birthday for a great grandparent is an important day. Go and enjoy.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 27/02/2022 09:40

Take her out

I wish people could see the value of a very rare time out of education without all this dissing of a day in school.

Reception is where they learn to read. Amongst many other things. They cover crucial building blocks of reading every day.

I am not saying don’t go on the day out, I think you should, but because family and experiences matter TOO, not because ‘they don’t learn much in reception / one one day etc’.

Photolass · 27/02/2022 09:40

I would definitely take her, if only for the sake of her great grandparents, who might be upset if she's not there.
She has years of schooling ahead, so missing one day in reception isn't going to affect her.

Fedupsotired · 27/02/2022 09:41

She isn't legally required to be in school until the term AFTER she turns 5. If she is 4 they can't do anything!!

Fedupsotired · 27/02/2022 09:42

@topcat2014

I wouldn't do it, and I would judge the GPs for not valuing education. But then I am one of life's rule following dullards :)
@topcat2014 But at 4 she isn't breaking any rules as the child isn't required to be in school
newbiename · 27/02/2022 09:43

@topcat2014

I wouldn't do it, and I would judge the GPs for not valuing education. But then I am one of life's rule following dullards :)
For one day , in reception?
newbiename · 27/02/2022 09:44

Take her , but don't lie.

Tyrionsbitch · 27/02/2022 09:45

I'm a Reception teacher and I would do it. It's only one day and will give her a wonderful experience that she would never get at school.

Catflapping · 27/02/2022 09:49

I’m an attendance officer in a secondary school and would totally do this.

Original poster
Samantha312 · 27/02/2022 09:52

I’m going to take her 😊 I’ve made my decision now.

OP posts:
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