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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has anyone refused to go back into the office?

841 replies

GreenPepperRed · 27/02/2022 00:12

Just that really. Have a job that can easily be done working from home. Company is now saying compulsory 3 days in the office. Has anyone just not gone in and carried on working from home? How did that turn out?

The majority of my department is insisting they are not going in. Can confirm they are serious because I went in to the office a couple days back and there was probably 10% of the people in.

Intrigued what my company will do. Fire us all?

OP posts:
CallyfromBlakes7 · 03/03/2022 13:32

@Notyourtypicalvirgo - excellent post

Notyourtypicalvirgo · 03/03/2022 13:32

[quote CallyfromBlakes7]@Notyourtypicalvirgo - excellent post[/quote]
Thank you 😊

CallyfromBlakes7 · 03/03/2022 13:34

@RobynMyEmployer

Working from the office: "I've finished all my work. May as well ask if there's anything else I can help with."

Working from home: "I've finished all my work. May as well walk the dog."

Nah. Working from the office - I've finished all my work. Sit here twiddling my thumbs posting on Mumsnet until 5.30 when I can go home.

Working from home - I've finished all my work. May as well put the washing machine on (don't have a dog). 5.35 comes and an email comes in. Oh I may as well deal with that as I am here and have time (if I had been in the office I'd have been on the train home and would not have seen it until tomorrow).

ufucoffee · 03/03/2022 13:37

@Notyourtypicalvirgo
Can you explain what you mean be 'a safe space for Mums' actually means. I genuinely don't know.

Notyourtypicalvirgo · 03/03/2022 13:42

@RobynMyEmployer I mean I'm sorry that happens to you but that sounds like a boundary issue. I only do work outside of my contracted hours if it's truly urgent (and I have been known to get taxis to central London at 4am in a genuine time of crisis). Just because someone emails you at 5.35pm doesn't mean you need to respond if you are working from home.

Notyourtypicalvirgo · 03/03/2022 13:46

[quote ufucoffee]@Notyourtypicalvirgo
Can you explain what you mean be 'a safe space for Mums' actually means. I genuinely don't know. [/quote]
A safe space means a space either online or offline that has been designed for mothers (I'd hope all parents actually including dad's and guardians) to talk about the challenges in their lives without fear of reprimand or reprecussions.

That's not to say childless people shouldn't be on Mumsnet, but childless people coming to Mumsnet to judge and pile on to mothers with their own agenda is intrusion into a safe space.

It's like me going onto an LGBTQ website and crying "what about straight people???", I just wouldn't do it, it's a dick move

GoldenOmber · 03/03/2022 13:55

As a working mum myself (albeit currently off sick - and I’ve still been getting pings on my work phone Hmm ), I don’t feel it helps me to be lumped in with absolute piss-takers like MabelsApron on some kind of crusade for equality in the workplace, thanks.

My employer is pretty good for working parents. What this has meant for me is that when my DC’s breakfast club didn’t reopen b/c covid, work let me formally change my working pattern so I could do school pick-up. If I get a call from school or nursery saying a child is ill, I know nobody will fuss when I need to go and get them.

What it doesn’t mean is that I can avoid doing the hours and the work I’m contracted for to save myself money/time, and then grump about discrimination if someone pulls me up on it. That’s not helping working mothers; that’s setting us back.

GoldenOmber · 03/03/2022 13:57

Argh sorry - “piss-takers like MabelsApron ’s colleagues” that should say! Sorry, blame the lurgy…

Notyourtypicalvirgo · 03/03/2022 14:04

@GoldenOmber

As a working mum myself (albeit currently off sick - and I’ve still been getting pings on my work phone Hmm ), I don’t feel it helps me to be lumped in with absolute piss-takers like MabelsApron on some kind of crusade for equality in the workplace, thanks.

My employer is pretty good for working parents. What this has meant for me is that when my DC’s breakfast club didn’t reopen b/c covid, work let me formally change my working pattern so I could do school pick-up. If I get a call from school or nursery saying a child is ill, I know nobody will fuss when I need to go and get them.

What it doesn’t mean is that I can avoid doing the hours and the work I’m contracted for to save myself money/time, and then grump about discrimination if someone pulls me up on it. That’s not helping working mothers; that’s setting us back.

That's your opinion based on your work environment 🤷🏽‍♀️ I've worked in toxic environments like that where parents (because my husband does school pickup a lot right now even though I'm on maternity leave) would be judged for taking out 20 minutes to collect their kids from school and guess what.....I left.

I've worked hard my whole life and I'm going to reap the benefits of that. Me or my partner collecting our kids had never been an issue because the work still gets done but if it ever did become an issue 9 times out of 10 for an office job it's a sign of a toxic workplace.

I'm not performing open heart surgery, having to send an email or join a call 20 minutes later is an absolute nothing and my team appreciate that I trust them and take this standpoint.

Anywhere that would penalise a parent for this is not worth working for in my opinion 🤷🏽‍♀️

LouisRenault · 03/03/2022 14:17

50 years ago there were no women in the workplace.

What absolute tosh.

GoldenOmber · 03/03/2022 14:22

That's your opinion based on your work environment 🤷🏽‍♀️

What, that some people (parents or not) will take the piss sometimes? I don’t think that’s unique to my work environment.

Also not really clear on what you’re saying here. On the one hand, you say that all parents who head out during work hours to do pickups and dropoffs are making up their hours (even if you don’t know them and their colleagues say they aren’t). But on the other hand, when I gave my workplace as an example of somewhere where they changed my work hours around so I could do exactly that, that’s a ‘toxic’ workplace to you?

Belladonna12 · 03/03/2022 14:23

A safe space means a space either online or offline that has been designed for mothers (I'd hope all parents actually including dad's and guardians) to talk about the challenges in their lives without fear of reprimand or reprecussions.

Lol. Have you been on AIBU before?

Whitefire · 03/03/2022 14:24

@LouisRenault

50 years ago there were no women in the workplace.

What absolute tosh.

Yeah 50 years ago really isn't that long ago.
Whitefire · 03/03/2022 14:26

Yeah I don't want Mumsnet to be a "safe space" as that is code for "always agree with me"

Parker231 · 03/03/2022 14:27

@LouisRenault

50 years ago there were no women in the workplace.

What absolute tosh.

50 years ago my DM was working as an engineer in Ghent and my DMil as a teacher in Quebec. They weren’t unusual.
Porridgeislife · 03/03/2022 14:27

50 years ago is 1972. Yep, no women in the workplace AT ALL Grin

Porcupineintherough · 03/03/2022 14:28

50 years ago there were no women in the workplace.

There have always been women in the workplace. Always.

Notyourtypicalvirgo · 03/03/2022 14:29

@LouisRenault

50 years ago there were no women in the workplace.

What absolute tosh.

Ah that old tactic, perhaps I should have said 70 years ago and there were less women in the workplace rather than none.

That ok with you or do you want to correct my grammar next? 😂

Notyourtypicalvirgo · 03/03/2022 14:33

@GoldenOmber

That's your opinion based on your work environment 🤷🏽‍♀️

What, that some people (parents or not) will take the piss sometimes? I don’t think that’s unique to my work environment.

Also not really clear on what you’re saying here. On the one hand, you say that all parents who head out during work hours to do pickups and dropoffs are making up their hours (even if you don’t know them and their colleagues say they aren’t). But on the other hand, when I gave my workplace as an example of somewhere where they changed my work hours around so I could do exactly that, that’s a ‘toxic’ workplace to you?

GoldenOmber, if I'm completely honest with you, I think you're the one who brings toxicity into your workplace 🤷🏽‍♀️

I said my part....keep arguing amongst yourselves in the middle of the day. I'm sure your employer is absolutely loving how productive you are currently being....😂

Great employees, so much better than those pesky parents who sneak off to pick up their children or would rather spend their commute time actually interacting with their families....

BitterTits · 03/03/2022 14:37

look it up but the average worker is only productive for 4 hours a day and your brain can only concentrate about 90 minutes at a time

Good job these average workers aren't staffing our schools, hospitals, shops, transport and infrastructure then isn't it? This statement is everything that's entitled.

GoldenOmber · 03/03/2022 14:38

GoldenOmber, if I'm completely honest with you, I think you're the one who brings toxicity into your workplace 🤷🏽‍♀️

I said my part....keep arguing amongst yourselves in the middle of the day. I'm sure your employer is absolutely loving how productive you are currently being....😂

I did say like twice in the post you’re quoting that I’m currently off sick, but never mind that.

Just to check in that I’m understanding you properly here: you believe that I am bringing toxicity into my workplace, because… I thought it appropriate to ask for a formal change to my working pattern to let me drop my kids off? Goodness.

110APiccadilly · 03/03/2022 15:54

@Belladonna12 Ah, I think I assumed my company's policy was the law and it's obviously just their policy. So pre-Covid we did have home workers, and one of the requirements to be a home worker was to have someone come round and do a DSE assessment. I assumed we'd go back to that at some point, but maybe we won't if it's over and above what's legally required.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/03/2022 18:07

50 years ago there were no women in the workplace

Strange that; I could have sworn I started work in 1972, to say nothing of all the other women who'd already been there for years

And "having a safe place for mums" (which I agree with) doesn't necessarily involve your every word going unchallenged - especially if you choose to misrepresent posters by suggesting they've said workplace impact on women revolves around merely picking the kids up

MabelsApron · 03/03/2022 18:49

Message received. I’ve been here years, mainly for the infertility support, but that’s me told. I won’t bother posting here again.

Whitefire · 03/03/2022 18:53

@MabelsApron

Message received. I’ve been here years, mainly for the infertility support, but that’s me told. I won’t bother posting here again.
Please do not be chased off Mumsnet, this thread has been a bit weird to say the least. It sounds like MN has been a good source of support for you, don't cut yourself off from it.