Husband txt picture of our ill child to another woman

OlympicProcrastinator · 26/02/2022 02:29

YANBU that would be a deal breaker for me. So sorry OP.

RobertSmithsLipstick · 26/02/2022 02:33

Me too.
I'm fairly liberal in what would cross the line for me, but this would be too far over it to ever be forgiven.

AuntyBumBum · 26/02/2022 02:35

@youhearditherefirst

I found out my husband was txting another woman whilst sat at our ill child's bedside in hospital. His txts were all about getting sympathy. She wasn't responding so he sent her a picture of our child hooked up to machines and very ill no doubt to get a reaction.

He has tried to make out I'm overacting by being utterly disgusted by this and not being able to forgive him. So everyone - aibu?

What other woman??

Christoncrutches · 26/02/2022 02:35

Define ‘another woman’… i hope you’re child recovers soon.

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 26/02/2022 02:35

If she wasn't responding it sounds like she thinks he's a disgusting tosser too!
That is really vile of him

Neenawneenaw76 · 26/02/2022 02:37

Who is this woman? Honestly I'm a bit confused by this post. Are they old friends, having an affair, work colleagues, how did you find out? We need more info? How is your DC doing?

Original poster

youhearditherefirst · 26/02/2022 02:39

She is a co-worker he has feelings for, she shot him down and he continued to txt her sporadically which she ignored - I've seen the txts!

He then txt her about our child. When she wasn't engaging he sent the picture.

OP posts:

Original poster

youhearditherefirst · 26/02/2022 02:40

They are much better and home now. Thank you
Xx

OP posts:

RobertSmithsLipstick · 26/02/2022 02:44

So you knew he has feelings for her before these texts?
Is he supposed to be trying to make things right with you?

OlympicProcrastinator · 26/02/2022 02:44

Why are you even with a man who is texting another woman ‘he has feelings for?’ That should be enough for you to get rid. But to add into the mix he’s a pest and using your sick child for sympathy, invading their privacy and dignity is absolutely fucking appalling!
Do not waste another day of your life with this cretin.

Neenawneenaw76 · 26/02/2022 02:50

Yeah he's definitely a c**t xxx

Butterfly44 · 26/02/2022 02:50

Yes I'd have a massive problem with that. The woman doesn't want to engage and he's still harassing her and using your son to gain a response. What a creep. Poor co- worker. Likely she doesn't feel comfortable at work, if it was me I'd be straight to the bosses.
As for your marriage...time to leave. What respect is that to you as his wife and to his son. Disgusting behaviour.

AuntyBumBum · 26/02/2022 02:51

Yes, I'm very sorry about the sick child as a very difficult thing in its own right, but it doesn't make any difference here. The advice is the same with or without photos of your sick child.

SarahBellam · 26/02/2022 03:07

Your DH is a creep on four counts: Trying to cheat on you, harassing a woman who told him she’s not interested and trying to manipulate her in the worst way to get her to respond, invading your child’s privacy when they were at their most vulnerable, and minimising and gaslighting you about it. Any one of those on their own is despicable, but taken together they amount to a picture of an awful, selfish, vile excuse for a man. He has shown you who he is. Believe him.

Migrainesbythedozen · 26/02/2022 03:20

@youhearditherefirst

She is a co-worker he has feelings for, she shot him down and he continued to txt her sporadically which she ignored - I've seen the txts!

He then txt her about our child. When she wasn't engaging he sent the picture.

No way are you even remotely being unreasonable. No way! I feel so fucking furious for you, how dare he use an innocent vulnerable child like that, to get his jollies from another woman? What sort of sick degenerate is he?!??

So your husband has admitted to having feelings for a co-worker, still works with her, and still texts her?

And you're ok with him still working there? Let alone texting her regularly?
Let alone now while your DC is ill?

What a selfish, cold, disgusting piece of garbage he is!

Sorry but him still working at the place his co-worker who he likes works, would be a deal-breaker to me, I would have demanded he change jobs.

On top of that, texting her now and then would be a deal-breaker when he is married and I know about his feelings for her.

Then, texting this her when his child is sick, and sending HER a pic of your and his child?

OP, every single one, each of these three on their own individually are LTB category. But acting like you, his wife and mother of his sick child is over-reacting that he is using your child in a vulnerable situation and an image of them to get the attention of the co-worker? While he is a married man and your child is sick?

OP, seriously, this could be more LTB territory. I could never, never forgive him for a) having such disrespect for me, his wife and mother of his child, and b) having such disrespect for our innocent child who shouldn't have their sickness exploited for him to get his jollies from attention of another woman. You didn't consent to him photographing/sending a photo of your child in such a vulnerable position. And your child sure as shit didn't. OP I could not ever come back from any of the 3 individually, but put them all together and add on the vulnerability of your innocent child he used, sorry, he would be thrown out that night. I could never get past that, not even in several lifetimes. The moment he used an innocent child to get attention outside the marriage, any like or respect for him I had would be gone. Using an innocent and vulnerable child like that is despicable and there is no justification, no excuse and no getting past that. Ever.

Associatepeggy · 26/02/2022 03:56

I am sorry op this is absolutely vile.

As pp said, he is trying to cheat on you and harassing this woman and try manipulate her into engaging with him, even though she has been clear.

He is disgusting

Justilou1 · 26/02/2022 04:18

If your DH was at all functional and connected to your child, this woman would not be on his radar at all at this time. His priorities are entirely self-focused and entitled. He’s obviously the problem here @youhearditherefirst. Not only is he exploiting your sick child, he is doing this in an attempt to coerce some kind of relationship with this woman that she doesn’t want… (Harrassment, much?) At the same time, he is gaslighting you and belittling your response when you discovered this. Absolutely unforgivable.

Chasingaftermidnight · 26/02/2022 04:38

@SarahBellam

Your DH is a creep on four counts: Trying to cheat on you, harassing a woman who told him she’s not interested and trying to manipulate her in the worst way to get her to respond, invading your child’s privacy when they were at their most vulnerable, and minimising and gaslighting you about it. Any one of those on their own is despicable, but taken together they amount to a picture of an awful, selfish, vile excuse for a man. He has shown you who he is. Believe him.

This. I’d also add a fifth count - instead of focussing on his sick child, he was thinking about how he could exploit the situation to manipulate his colleague. That tells you a lot about who he is as a parent.

RantyAunty · 26/02/2022 04:43

It's disgusting on many levels.

I'll tell him to leave.

Justilou1 · 26/02/2022 05:13

If I received these kinds of emails/texts from someone I worked with after shooting him down I wouldn’t hesitate to report him to HR.
He will be lucky to remain employed.
I bet when you kick him out he tries using THAT to make her feel sorry for him too, and when that doesn’t work, he’ll get angry and blame the colleague for the demise of his marriage. What a fucking manchild.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/02/2022 05:29

Your husband is showing contempt for women and their boundaries. Ditto that for his child. Is your dc female? I’m really she/ he is doing well.

What he has done really is disgusting and it is understandable you don’t want to forgive him. Don’t let him minimise and gas light you into thinking otherwise.

ilovepuppies2019 · 26/02/2022 05:49

This is so disgusting it turns my stomach. I thought initially it may have been to a female boss to get extra time off to spend with his child. From what you've said, I would be straight out the door to leave him immediately.

PearPickingPorky · 26/02/2022 06:07

Yes it's the "hows can I use my very sick child to manipulate this woman I fancy into giving me attention" angle that makes this dreadful. Where was his care and focus for his child?

Mumofsend · 26/02/2022 06:50

My ex did similar when our newborn son was fighting sepsis at 2 weeks old in hospital, except he went one step further and invited her to our home whilst son and I weren't there (but autistic 1 year old DD was).

I never forgave him, I kicked him out a few weeks later.

I hope you are OK OP

Anotheronestatisticssuck · 26/02/2022 06:51

That's so horrible :( the only thing most of us would be focusing on would be our really sick child, not how to manipulate someone they fancy using said child.
I hope they're doing much better now and continue that way xxx