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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are these comments not nice ? Or am I being too sensitive?

89 replies

Userdeniedit99 · 25/02/2022 18:28

Friend says the following to me:
Userdeniedit99 ate all the starters (said to rest of group we were out with). She actually ate it all
Userdeniedit99 put that on friends phone. Infact, she did, not me
Userdeniedit99 is the eldest in the group (said to some blokes we were chatting to). She's actually the eldest

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 25/02/2022 18:29

Did you challenge her nonsense?

Cocycola · 25/02/2022 18:30

I really don't understand the problem here.

Octomore · 25/02/2022 18:31

The first and third are definitely not nice. I assume you challenged her?

Tbh, I don't understand the second one. What would you be putting on your friend's phone?

MichelleScarn · 25/02/2022 18:32

Was she pissed and in need of attention?

SugarAndCoffee · 25/02/2022 18:32

Userdeniedit99 ate all the starters (said to rest of group we were out with). She actually ate it all is this what she said? Or are you saying she blamed it on you but she ate all the starters?

Paddingtonthebear · 25/02/2022 18:32

Well she’s a liar isn’t she. You need to address it every time - “No, that’s not true you’re the oldest”, “No, that’s not true you ate it all”, “No, that’s not true it was you not me”. And “Why are you lying?”. Every time.

Or, you know, just get rid if you can.

HellonHeels · 25/02/2022 18:33

She sounds massively annoying

lljkk · 25/02/2022 18:39

it's weird. "Why do you keep saying stuff that's not true?"

BloodyForeland · 25/02/2022 18:41

I'm more interested in why she's decided to use you, rather than anyone else in the group, as her default fall guy -- does she see you as an easy target?

Don't you point out that what she's said isn't true, if you are in fact younger than her, didn't eat all the starters, and didn't put whatever it was on your mutual friend's phone, or do you grin and bear it?

WonderfulYou · 25/02/2022 18:47

It’s hard to tell from your examples.
Did you eat all of the starters or did she and blame it on you? Or did they not come and she joked that you had eaten them?

caranations · 25/02/2022 18:49

Friend?

No.

CaMePlaitPas · 25/02/2022 18:51

Is this person five years old? Because she speaks like my daughter.

Nickwinkle · 25/02/2022 19:02

Sounds like a primary school argument wtf

Natty13 · 25/02/2022 20:11

@BloodyForeland

I'm more interested in why she's decided to use you, rather than anyone else in the group, as her default fall guy -- does she see you as an easy target?

Don't you point out that what she's said isn't true, if you are in fact younger than her, didn't eat all the starters, and didn't put whatever it was on your mutual friend's phone, or do you grin and bear it?

I think this is clearly it. Anyone else would have challenged those things in the moment and not be posting for advice questioning if they were nice or not?hours later.

She doesn't seem like a nice person if she's lying and subtly putting you down at the same time. People like that seem out others who won't challenge it.

phishy · 25/02/2022 20:14

Yep she’s a bitch.

Are you challenging her every time? Just say ‘what are you on about, you are’.

Userdeniedit99 · 06/03/2022 23:25

@SugarAndCoffee my friend actually ate the food. Not me.
I've been a pushover for far too long. I've never challenged her. She sees me as a weak target for sure. Last week I started to push back. She had suggested booking a show for us. Originally it was a mid day show which was fine and I said to go ahead and book. Now I learn she's booked a very late show. I can still go, but that that's not the point. She booked the late showing without checking with me. it means I will get home at gone midnight and I have work the next day. I made it clear I had the arse with her. I think she was surprised. She will be seeing more of this from me when she puts me down/blames me/ uses me as her sidekick. Trying to be strong and push back. It's not easy as it's not in my nature

OP posts:
Userdeniedit99 · 06/03/2022 23:30

These comments from my friend are just the tip of the iceberg. There is a hell of a lot more but its too outting. In addition, she wants to use my premuim Spotify account (I have a spare one, but that's besides the point) and use my amazon prime account.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 06/03/2022 23:37

You need to learn how freeing and liberating it is to learn the power of saying no.

She's a dick, mate. She's not nice to you. She lies. She feels entitled to things you have paid for. She isn't your friend.

Say no. Bin her off. You won't regret it.

incognitoforthisone · 07/03/2022 00:03

Once again, I'm amazed at how many people have 'friends' they don't actually like. This woman's clearly horrible to you and you, understandably, hate her for it.

She doesn't like you. You don't like her. Why are you spending time together?

BigupPemberleyMassive · 07/03/2022 02:48

@incognitoforthisone

Once again, I'm amazed at how many people have 'friends' they don't actually like. This woman's clearly horrible to you and you, understandably, hate her for it.

She doesn't like you. You don't like her. Why are you spending time together?

This
NumberTheory · 07/03/2022 02:58

@incognitoforthisone

Once again, I'm amazed at how many people have 'friends' they don't actually like. This woman's clearly horrible to you and you, understandably, hate her for it.

She doesn't like you. You don't like her. Why are you spending time together?

^^ Exactly
Josette77 · 07/03/2022 03:48

You don't like each other. Move on.

Justilou1 · 07/03/2022 04:42

Tell her she only needs two brain cells to set up her own accounts and you’re not willing to divulge that. Promise me she doesn’t have access to your Netflix too.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/03/2022 05:05

So she uses you to make herself look good to others, be company so she isn’t Billy no mates and wants to financially take advantage of you.

Does she bring any joy into your life?

LoHicimosAmigos · 07/03/2022 05:10

Is it said in a jokey way? I'm not saying it is funny but there's some who think this sort of put down thing is humorous. I have a colleague like this who says 'well you're shit at your job aren't you?' 'You're too late to notice' 'some of us bring biscuits and you just choose to eat them.' It's all said in jest but if you're feeling particularly sensitive or low it really hurts. There's some truth in it too. I am late and eat all the biscuits.

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