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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

3 year old saying Bog

260 replies

Shurdle · 22/02/2022 07:23

Got pulled aside by nursery last week to say DS was calling the toilet “the bog”. I know in the UK some words are more acceptable than in other parts but where we are “bog” is considered crude slang. So obviously I told nursery I didn’t know where he’d got that from as we don’t say it but I’d ensure he knows the word is toilet.
On Friday he spent the day with my parents and came home calling the toilet the bog again. I messaged my mum to ask if she knew where he was getting it from and she said she had been saying it to him as it was easier than toilet which he was struggling to say. I told her nursery wasn’t happy and I didn’t like it either so could she stop. She laughed and said I was being precious but agreed she would continue teaching “toilet”.

He was with my parents yesterday afternoon and whilst in the bath he pointed to the toilet and said “that’s a shithouse”. Now I know my father says this but I don’t believe he would tell DS to say this so I reckon my mum has told him that I was complaining about the bog word and my father has said something like “call it the shithouse then” as a joke and DS has overheard??

Anyway my aibu - I rely on my parents heavily for childcare which they insist on doing for free. Do I just let it go rather than causing a scene bringing it up again??

YABU - confront them about saying bad words in front of DS
YANBU - let it go, it’s not worth the fallout.

OP posts:
LakieLady · 22/02/2022 17:52

@merrymelodies

Am I the only one to find this hilarious?
No, I do too, and I like the sound of the OP's dad!

I call it the bog and see nothing shocking or inappropriate about it, but I concede that in most houses, "shithouse" is a bit rude.

LakieLady · 22/02/2022 17:59

[quote Migrainesbythedozen]@campion Loo sounds dirty and vulgar to me, I don't understand the UK obsession with the word. Why can't they use the proper term, which is toilet.[/quote]
I don't like the word "loo", but for very different reasons. It sounds all twee and mimsy.

LakieLady · 22/02/2022 18:01

@Queenoftheashes

I think you should go with crapper.
Lol.

Or how about "house of easement"?

ouch321 · 22/02/2022 18:05

Lavatory or loo is polite.

Toilet is the most common though crude.

I use 'bathroom' if at home and 'washroom' if out and about.

YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators · 22/02/2022 18:23

Seriously?
I think you're being massively precious.
They're all just words. You have a preference: make sure DS knows what it is and reward preferred usage with smiles and praise. Ignore undesirable words.

StScholastica · 22/02/2022 18:28

I'm picturing your Dad as Jim Royle Grin, is your 3 year old named baby David?

DappledThings · 22/02/2022 18:29

I use 'bathroom' if at home and 'washroom' if out and about
Both bathroom and washroom are weirdly euphemistic. If someone asks where the bathroom is I assume they need the loo but are rather pathetically embarrassed about it.

hangrylady · 22/02/2022 18:31

@merrymelodies

Am I the only one to find this hilarious?
No, no you're not Grin
hangrylady · 22/02/2022 18:32

@StScholastica

I'm picturing your Dad as Jim Royle Grin, is your 3 year old named baby David?
Just off for an Eartha Kitt Grin
Anonymous48 · 22/02/2022 18:43

I agree with you, OP, that there's no reason for your child to be using these slang terms. Unfortunately, if you're relying on your parents for free childcare I don't think you have much of a right to police the language they use in front of him.

Moody123 · 22/02/2022 18:49

Haha! I probably would just say to your parents that you use toilet and it's confusing him. However I wouldn't say anything as they are providing free childcare and it's not a bad word (although shithouse is hilarious!)
If he was coming home saying the F or C word that's a different issue, but 'the bog' isn't bad as that's just what some people call it

Shurdle · 22/02/2022 18:53

@VeeringTowardsMuff1ns what a guess!! 😂😂

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 22/02/2022 18:57

I don't mind the word 'bog' but as the nursery does, then clearly he must not learn to use it.

As your parents say they cannot get him to say 'toilet', then tell them to use 'loo' - even easier to say than bog, readily understood and won't cause problems at nursery (where he'll learn to say 'toilet' idc)

rubbishatballet · 22/02/2022 19:02

I would rather bog than toilet, but loo the best option.

Can't bear nursery and school's insistence on using the word toilet - I'm another with an allergic reaction to it and have always corrected my DC.

CityCommuter · 22/02/2022 19:06

@Shurdle that is really funny and I can't help laughing sorry Grin

Just keep reiterating the word toilet and your DS will eventually start using that word...

Howshouldibehave · 22/02/2022 19:15

[quote Chichimcgee]@Shurdle my parents always said it was a deer word. Ds has bowel issues and a reoccurring questions at appointments with consultants and nurses is can he fart. If you go on the 111 website about tummy problems it asks if you’re able to fart. Then I heard them say it on CBeebies so I was like obviously it’s ok then lol[/quote]
Can I ask what a deer word is, I’ve never heard that before?

I would be cross if my parents carried on using words that were getting my child in trouble and wouldn’t stop if I’d asked them to.

I would suggest paying for your own childcare.

Cantfindausernamethatsnottaken · 22/02/2022 19:18

I dont find adults teaching children 'bad words'or swear words even slightly amusing.I think its disgusting actually.Tell your parents you will stop sending him if they wont use some common sense and decency .

Howshouldibehave · 22/02/2022 19:21

Anyway my aibu-I rely on my parents heavily for childcare which they insist on doing for free

I’d rather pay and have people who didn’t say ‘Shithouse’ to my kids.

CallMeNutribullet · 22/02/2022 19:21

Howling at the idea of adults "shuddering" at the word "toilet". You must have a terrible time out on the high street every time you see a sign for a toilet.

3WildOnes · 22/02/2022 19:22

Bog is fine. Loo better. I can’t say toilet as would always make my (very posh) grandparents wince.

claireb7rg · 22/02/2022 19:23

I'm in east Yorkshire, I might try and get my 2 year old to start saying bog to see if I get the same response from our nursery 😂😂

What a ridiculous reaction 😂😂 admittedly I wouldn't like him saying shit house but bog is not offensive and neither is fart

3WildOnes · 22/02/2022 19:24

@CallMeNutribullet I don’t think my grandparents would have cared if strangers used the word toilet but they did wince if any of us grandchildren did.

pistolknight · 22/02/2022 19:39

Bog is better than my ds announcing he's taking the kids to the pool Wink

Bog is fine- loo's better. Definitely not toilet which is as bad a word as pardon.

Marmelace · 22/02/2022 19:47

I do love how we all see words differently
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/3qF356d7d2D6h98CdCWxf8z/ten-words-that-prove-you-arent-posh
I'm definitely not posh

DappledThings · 22/02/2022 19:49

Definitely not toilet which is as bad a word as pardon.
I don't know if this is a genuine post but I know there are people who really think like this and it does crack me up.

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