Asking her to leave the cat with us....

[LoveMyPiano]

My next door but one neighbour is about to finally move out, after about 5 months virtually living with boyfriend, but coming to and fro the apartment (I am in a house next door to the little block).

She has/had two cats. A black one, probably less than a year old, that has been left in the apartment mostly all of the time; and an older one who has always roamed the complex and back road and who has been in my house a lot, comes onto the garden (catches rodents but not birds strangely) and has virtually adopted my friend who also lives in the apartments. It seemed that he was effectively left behind and we have cared for him with all kinds of food (he became very underweight and scruffy at first but now his coat is like silk [maybe we should all eat cat food!], he has a mix of some dried and some wet, and has really improved since we added the pouch food.

He is nicely looked after by us jointly - and now allowed to stay in overnight (previously, not - and mainly his choice - he is very nocturnal). He waits for my friend to come home, and he also seems to know when I will go round but sometimes totally indfferent and stays in one of his many beds/spots. For example, last night, I had my Saturday pizza with the plate resting (lightly) on his head. He will not get off my lap until I tip him off....

Please suggest any way I persuade her to leave him with us. She and I are not especially friendly (due to anothe nasty neighbour - now gone- influence) but I have never said a nasty thing to or about her or her little boy, and she knows what the cat has been doing. But now, her actual move out is imminent, and I have heard (from another neighbour) that she plans to take him...... He was not happy in her home before, as he seems to like quiet, and she has a big boisterous dog and a (I think) 6 year old - and of course the other cat..... I would not criticise any of this - but I really want to plead with her to leave him with us, where he is doing so well, and is such a help to my need to look after something.

He keeps his opinion to himself when I play the piano..... but that eye speaks volumes

@EATmum

There are at least two other neighbours who adore our cats, and clearly would bite our hands off if we wanted to give them up. Thing is, we love them too.

I appreciate that your circumstances suggest that the cats have been neglected, but more generally some cats just like to have multiple addresses. Our boy cat definitely checks who is going to offer the best snacks each day and I would love it if the other neighbours would stop feeding him. "Oh no we'd never feed him - only Dreamies and cat milk." Right.

However as I say, it sounds very different to your situation.

Yes, it is different for me/us at the moment.

I have posted earlier that your situation is much as I hd with my older cat a few years ago. Everyone loved him, and he loved everyone - and some fed him a treat or two. But we all had our own cats, and he would come back home every day - but he was even lying on my neighbour's terrace when he was taken ill and later put to sleep.

I DO think these circumstances are different to your experience and mine previously, and although we are taking care of this cat to the nth degree, I am still fully aware that he is not mine. That is what I am working on, as his actual owner does not seem to give a hoot how he is doing on daily or even weekly basis.

Cats eh?

The RSPCA will only take calls for an "Emergency" these days.
My local cat sanctuaries are full, and would hardly be likley to take him away. What do you think they might be able to do?

And please DO take me at face value I hav not one thing to gain by lying or embellishing or exaggerating this situation.

Despite being told that I should "get a hobby".

Oh I definitely do believe you.

I was replying to the poster who seems convinced you're lying and trying to explain that I wouldn't routinely suggest keeping a cat. Re the RSPCA that was badly worded and I meant if someone posted right in the beginning of the situation. I.e. noticed their neighbour had abandoned their cat a few weeks ago etc. I'd suggest trying them (though it may be futile) as an option. In your case feeding the cat and helping it get vet treatment was absolutely the right thing to do.

Sorry if it came across that I didn't believe you or thought you did the wrong thing.

The cat is very lucky you were around to look after it!

Honestly OP, I would ignore what Catsanctury has to say.

They've randomly decided you're a lying, cat thief, so are not going to believe you or offer any useful advice.

FWIW, I don't believe they work for a cat sanctuary as all the ones I've known have had kind people who dont accuse people who trying to help neglected cats of being lying cat thieves.

@HeckyPeck

Honestly OP, I would ignore what Catsanctury has to say.

They've randomly decided you're a lying, cat thief, so are not going to believe you or offer any useful advice.

FWIW, I don't believe they work for a cat sanctuary as all the ones I've known have had kind people who dont accuse people who trying to help neglected cats of being lying cat thieves.

Thank you @HeckyPeck

I do not know how to be anything other than truthful - even when it sometimes casts me in a "bad light" (taking back my miniature horse, for example), so why they have decided all those things about me says a lot about who they are.... I hope they are nicer in real life - and to the cats that they help.

Even though a note has gone to the cat "owner" (we canno seem to cathc her - and I thought the move out was today). there has been no response; but thankfully, he is still around - and is a bit more clingy to me today - sat on the piano while I played, but then dozed off, and later tonight has sat on me while I watched the Dirty Dancing debacle.
I will so miss him if she does take him, despite our requests.

(All curtains are closed, so I cannot even see or hear the black one....)

I will keep my fingers crossed for you that she does leave him 🤞

@HeckyPeck

I will keep my fingers crossed for you that she does leave him 🤞

Thank you @HeckyPeck - and all others who were kind, and interested

He's gone.
She took him, in the sneaky and stealthy way she moved out.
My fault - for "letting him" go out yesterday morning, on his patrol and explorations as usual.

Never responded to our note and offer, and never acknowledged anything that we did for him, which was over the last five months (and before....)

She should have been asking US to keep him (for his sake), not the other way round.

And, having thought about it, it was not about A cat, it was THIS cat.
He seemed to love me (when he felt like it).

That's very sad and she seems selfish regards the cats, you never know he may turn up.
Then definitely hide him!

So sorry OP.

@TheMadGardener

So sorry OP.

Thank you

I suppose if we were having to ask her, there was not much chnace really.
Probably some spite in there, I hate to say. Sorry that the little man is caught up in it and am very worried for his care now.

Sad ending but as a real cat lover, I find it infuriating and personally upsetting that despite me and other posters warning you this would happen, and advising you to keep the cat safe until your neighbour was off the scene, you've ignored that and let him be taken off to a less happy life in an unfamiliar place, and now you want sympathy. I will save my sympathy for the poor cat.

Hopefully if she is now living where the actual cat is she will look after it better but frankly you should have kept him in .

Just read your update OP I'm really so very sorry xx

So sorry and can imagine how hard this must be for you. Maybe if you can find out where she vaguely lives you can have a little look out for the cat to see how he is doing.

It’s not your cat.
Since your OP you have mentioned selling a horse (to someone who was clearly not appropriate because you STOLE it back) & the original cat owners SEN children & lifestyle.
You are not the hero of this story.
I appreciate cats will go where they’re welcome. Which this cat has.
It still doesn’t give you the right to take someone else’s pet because you feel like you are the superior option. The cat making the choice, fair enough (in all honesty, that’s one of the reasons I’ve never liked cats!) but you still have a decency to her actual owner who chose her & bought her up, because that’s how decency works?!

Sorry to hear your update OP.

Hopefully he makes his way safely back home as soon as he can if she continues to neglect him.

Ignore the people sticking the boot in OP.

Whatever you do, there will be people telling you you're wrong.

You made the best decision with the information you had and that's the most any of us can do.

In the stealthy, sneaky way? The original owner has been spiteful to you?
I’m honestly so confused. It’s her cat. Why is she being spiteful to you? She’s moved house, it’s not stealthy or sneaky.
Again, I’m not saying it’s the right move for the cat. But she’s actually done nothing wrong. Maybe she loves her cat.

@Bob0117

It’s not your cat. Since your OP you have mentioned selling a horse (to someone who was clearly not appropriate because you STOLE it back) & the original cat owners SEN children & lifestyle. You are not the hero of this story. I appreciate cats will go where they’re welcome. Which this cat has. It still doesn’t give you the right to take someone else’s pet because you feel like you are the superior option. The cat making the choice, fair enough (in all honesty, that’s one of the reasons I’ve never liked cats!) but you still have a decency to her actual owner who chose her & bought her up, because that’s how decency works?!

I did not say I was the "hero". I mentioned that her son is SEN for context; no judgement - he is VERY loud and boisterous, and together with a big untrained dog and at times several kittens - not just the black one who has been left locked in the apratment for months as well, the cat has been bottom of the heap and his demeanour and appearence reflected that. We did not intervene, as the is sadly how his life was. I did have thoughts of involving the RSPCA quite some time ago - since at least before the pandemic.

We TOOK CARE of him when seemingly virtually left behind. I have explained this several times. I did NOT take him, and never would have - although I COULD have concealed him in MY house rather than friend's apartment. But anyway we did not know for sure when she was actually leaving, OR - beieve it or not - she might have (ha ha) actually left him in a familiar place and with us, where he had been completely taken care of for MONTHS.

Again, we have always respected the fact that he is not our cat.

And yes, I "stole" my (& daughter's - age 12 at the time) miniature horse back - although the "stole " part is debatable as they did not pay for her as agreed. So, who actually did the stealing in that situation, do you think? Had they been not incompetent, I might have let them keep her and let the money side go...

I would do it again. And I do not care whether I am seen to be a hero, or not.

@Bob0117

In the stealthy, sneaky way? The original owner has been spiteful to you? I’m honestly so confused. It’s her cat. Why is she being spiteful to you? She’s moved house, it’s not stealthy or sneaky. Again, I’m not saying it’s the right move for the cat. But she’s actually done nothing wrong. Maybe she loves her cat.

Loves her cat?? In what universe is what she has (not) done, demonstrating love or care???

I have not even said that it is - technically - wrong in moving and taking the cat. But honestly, you would have have been there (here) to know why I feel how I do, and have taken the actions that I (we) have over the last few months (and before).

@HeckyPeck

Sorry to hear your update OP.

Hopefully he makes his way safely back home as soon as he can if she continues to neglect him.

Ignore the people sticking the boot in OP.

Whatever you do, there will be people telling you you're wrong.

You made the best decision with the information you had and that's the most any of us can do.

(sigh)

He has gone too far away (Ihought it was closer....) for him to come back. I just feel sad for the upheaval for him, and the new lifestyle that will be forced on him

Of course I know people will have their say, I suppose we can't all be the same... But they are not totally right, and I am not 100% wrong.

You have said you were “robbed” & being dealt with spite. You offered up the story of taking the horse back as if it was justification. You clearly sold him to someone that was not appropriate & that’s fine, you took it back & we all make mistakes. But everyone makes mistake.
You’ve said this cat prefers your neighbour, why are you even having this argument?
Tbh no one knows what’s going on behind closed doors & everyone agrees cats aren’t loyal. But let’s not shit upon the people that bought a kitten as a pet & it didn’t work out when they’re gonna go where makes them happy anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Bob0117

You have said you were “robbed” & being dealt with spite. You offered up the story of taking the horse back as if it was justification. You clearly sold him to someone that was not appropriate & that’s fine, you took it back & we all make mistakes. But everyone makes mistake. You’ve said this cat prefers your neighbour, why are you even having this argument? Tbh no one knows what’s going on behind closed doors & everyone agrees cats aren’t loyal. But let’s not shit upon the people that bought a kitten as a pet & it didn’t work out when they’re gonna go where makes them happy anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️

You've ost me now, friend. I'm not quite following you.

I have referenced the experience with the miniature as proof of how far I will go for an animal's welfare. I made the mistake of trusting them, if that's what you mean..... It was not a mistake to take her back.
It is only one example. I have more.

I have NOT said the cat prefers the neighbour, just that animals can be instinctively loyal to the person who "owns" them - even when treated badly - kicked puppy syndrome and all that.
I doubt thatwhen - IF - he walked towards her when she appeared, that he expected to be put into a carrier and taken away.

This cat - no matter WHO owns him - has been taken away from where he is happy and safe, and back into probably and unsafe and unwelcoming and certainly unfamilar environment.

If nothing else, she should have been bloody well thanking us.

@Bob0117

In the stealthy, sneaky way? The original owner has been spiteful to you? I’m honestly so confused. It’s her cat. Why is she being spiteful to you? She’s moved house, it’s not stealthy or sneaky. Again, I’m not saying it’s the right move for the cat. But she’s actually done nothing wrong. Maybe she loves her cat.

This.

She moved house and did so at times that suited her so unless she dressed up as a ninja (in which case you wouldn't even know that she had moved... ) you abu even posting this bollox.

Hopefully this experience will put you off trying to steal other people's animals in future but somehow I doubt it and lets face it, from what you've previously posted your track record with your own actual non stolen pets isn't too pretty.

Also the drip drip of 'new info' when you didn't always get the answers you wanted, you were fully intending to steal this cat before you even started this thread.

Never wanted to steal him, nor did I/we intend to.
We have taken 100% care of him for over 5 months, and he was a welcome VISITOR before that - but that's all. But he was never in good shape and after being abandoned, declined further. I would not in conscience ignore his plight, but did not consider him mine, or "stealing" him.

I may be wrong about the "stealth" move - but I have seen a fair few of them, unfortunately. The reps of the landlord will come along in afew months, not even knowing the apartment is empty, I gaurantee it. Sadly.

The "new info" (aka, drip feed, I know) just came up in the course of the discussion. I would do the same again, as I have done in the past; I don't consider whether or not it is pretty. The miniature horse was, in effect, stolen from my daughter and me - I took her back, for her welfare, not because of the money that we were not paid.

I am not ashamed of my "track record", I have no idea why you think I should be

I'm so sorry he's gone.

@lunar1

I'm so sorry he's gone.

Thank you - I am worried about him...... He did have quite a (relative) life of luxury and indulgence with us, so it will be a shock for him

(He was also free to go walkabout and chase the local rats, if he chose..... He was not a softie, once his strength came back.)