Asking her to leave the cat with us....

[LoveMyPiano]

My next door but one neighbour is about to finally move out, after about 5 months virtually living with boyfriend, but coming to and fro the apartment (I am in a house next door to the little block).

She has/had two cats. A black one, probably less than a year old, that has been left in the apartment mostly all of the time; and an older one who has always roamed the complex and back road and who has been in my house a lot, comes onto the garden (catches rodents but not birds strangely) and has virtually adopted my friend who also lives in the apartments. It seemed that he was effectively left behind and we have cared for him with all kinds of food (he became very underweight and scruffy at first but now his coat is like silk [maybe we should all eat cat food!], he has a mix of some dried and some wet, and has really improved since we added the pouch food.

He is nicely looked after by us jointly - and now allowed to stay in overnight (previously, not - and mainly his choice - he is very nocturnal). He waits for my friend to come home, and he also seems to know when I will go round but sometimes totally indfferent and stays in one of his many beds/spots. For example, last night, I had my Saturday pizza with the plate resting (lightly) on his head. He will not get off my lap until I tip him off....

Please suggest any way I persuade her to leave him with us. She and I are not especially friendly (due to anothe nasty neighbour - now gone- influence) but I have never said a nasty thing to or about her or her little boy, and she knows what the cat has been doing. But now, her actual move out is imminent, and I have heard (from another neighbour) that she plans to take him...... He was not happy in her home before, as he seems to like quiet, and she has a big boisterous dog and a (I think) 6 year old - and of course the other cat..... I would not criticise any of this - but I really want to plead with her to leave him with us, where he is doing so well, and is such a help to my need to look after something.

He keeps his opinion to himself when I play the piano..... but that eye speaks volumes

I always think it's better to give posters the benefit of the doubt rather than assume they are lying.

If someone posted saying their neighbour was neglecting their cat and it looked underweight/raggedy I'd suggest they contact the RSPCA or a cat sanctuary. If they did that and neither helped then I wouldn't think it was wrong to feed the cat/get it treatment as needed though.

In this instance, I'm taking OP at face value and there is a neglected cat who I personally think would be better off if OP kept.

I am sad for this cat.
OP, if you ask owner and she dislikes you she will take the cat just to spite you.
Cat was underweight. Cat was left outside with insufficient food and neglected. Cat might have died by now if you hadn't taken it to the vet.

You wouldn't be stealing it. Like I said before, don't ask her, just keep cat indoors until she's gone forever. If she takes the cat you'll always wonder if she's looking after it properly - and you know she won't be.

In this case I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty about keeping the cat.
I would never hijack someone else's cat if they were caring for it properly. This woman clearly isn't. So no guilt.

Honestly I'd just keep the cat in your house, get it chipped, and have it be happy. I'd always put an animals welfare first

@TheMadGardener

I am sad for this cat. OP, if you ask owner and she dislikes you she will take the cat just to spite you. Cat was underweight. Cat was left outside with insufficient food and neglected. Cat might have died by now if you hadn't taken it to the vet. You wouldn't be stealing it. Like I said before, don't ask her, just keep cat indoors until she's gone forever. If she takes the cat you'll always wonder if she's looking after it properly - and you know she won't be. In this case I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty about keeping the cat. I would never hijack someone else's cat if they were caring for it properly. This woman clearly isn't. So no guilt.

Thank you. She and the other woman certainly behaved nastily and from that, I assume she didn't like me much then (over a year since the instigator moved), so there will no doubt be some residue of that...... which is why it is my friend who is making the request. I don't like her behaviour towards her child (as I have said, SN) and the various animals she has had.

This dislike does not mean though, that I am making this sound worse than it is, in order to get a free cat, or some such nonsense. Or, that I am trying to further justify what we hope to do, as it really does not need any justification to anyone with half a heart.

I have found out now though, that she is moving further away than I thought - so that's another worry; he will not be able to make his way back if she does take him.

@HeckyPeck

I always think it's better to give posters the benefit of the doubt rather than assume they are lying.

If someone posted saying their neighbour was neglecting their cat and it looked underweight/raggedy I'd suggest they contact the RSPCA or a cat sanctuary. If they did that and neither helped then I wouldn't think it was wrong to feed the cat/get it treatment as needed though.

In this instance, I'm taking OP at face value and there is a neglected cat who I personally think would be better off if OP kept.

The RSPCA will only take calls for an "Emergency" these days. My local cat sanctuaries are full, and would hardly be likley to take him away. What do you think they might be able to do?

And please DO take me at face value I hav not one thing to gain by lying or embellishing or exaggerating this situation.

Despite being told that I should "get a hobby".

@catsanctuary

Also vets don't give flea and wormer to cats that don't belong to you

Exactly. Which suggests the vet didn't know the cat didn't belong to her.

If the OP has such concerns about the cat she should contact the RSPCA, or a cat sanctuary would advise. She should do things properly through the correct channels not feed and house a random cat and decide it's hers.

I have NOT decided that he is mine/ours.

We have taken care of him when he has been 95% abandoned - including getting conditions treated that were affecting his health - and, you know, trying to make sure he didn't die. He was already a general visitor to my friend's apartment and my house/garden, but not fed or kept in overnght, long before this became the situation that it has.
We would have been criminal to not feed him when he was simply left with nothing. And it has evolved to the present set of cirumstances that we are facing.

My local cat sanctuaries are full, and would hardly be likley to take him away. What do you think they might be able to do?

They would give you advice on what you should do. They don't just take in homeless cats.

I suspect though that you wouldn't like their advice because the only response you react positively to on here is steal it and chip it.

Just take the cat. He's effectively yours now anyway. She can come knock if she cares abs I doubt she will. The cat has to come first.

@catsanctuary

My local cat sanctuaries are full, and would hardly be likley to take him away. What do you think they might be able to do?

They would give you advice on what you should do. They don't just take in homeless cats.

I suspect though that you wouldn't like their advice because the only response you react positively to on here is steal it and chip it.

That is not true at all! Point me to where I had agreed that stealing and chipping him is a good idea. Quite the contrary. It would be impossibe anyway, as we give him access to the outdoors when he wishes (he doesn't like a liter tray) - so she is a liberty to just grab him when he is out on his travels.

What ADVICE do you think that they will given that I haven't received on here.....??

And we are offering her money, so definitely would not be stealing.....

@Wintersbone

Just take the cat. He's effectively yours now anyway. She can come knock if she cares abs I doubt she will. The cat has to come first.

I know.... It almost feels that he is, and I think that HE thinks he is..... But......

We don't contain him 100%, so she could unfortunately just take him if she comes around when he is out.

I do know that, even if badly treated, animals can be loyal to people - and it would only take him going to her to say Hello, and he's stuffed in a carrier!

Chip him and hide him till she’s gone. Cats choose their owners.

I didn't say you agreed it's a good idea but you respond positively to those posts.

A cat sanctuary would advise you to speak to the owner and if you still had concerns about the animal's welfare the RSPCA. I know this as I run one. The clue is in my name.

You worry the owner would stuff him in a carrier and take him. So you're hoping he can avoid going with her and stay with you. You're hoping to keep him without going through the correct channels. That is wrong.

I believe that cat is mistreated about as much as I believe the owner sits in a deckchair with the sole purpose of watching you.

@TheOccupier I agree cackles

OP I had two cats when I met my DP and because of that we spent the majority of time together at my house.

I would spend the odd night at his, but we lived a ten min walk apart so they were never left alone very long.

She doesn't sound very bothered about them so I wouldn't be bothered about taking him. And you're not really taking him because the cat has chosen to you......

@catsanctuary

I didn't say you agreed it's a good idea but you respond positively to those posts.

A cat sanctuary would advise you to speak to the owner and if you still had concerns about the animal's welfare the RSPCA. I know this as I run one. The clue is in my name.

You worry the owner would stuff him in a carrier and take him. So you're hoping he can avoid going with her and stay with you. You're hoping to keep him without going through the correct channels. That is wrong.

I believe that cat is mistreated about as much as I believe the owner sits in a deckchair with the sole purpose of watching you.

Again. Point me to where I have responded "positively".

The RSPCA will.not. help.in this instance. (There is a far worse situation a few doors away, and they will not help with that.)

Yes, I did not doubt that you were involved with a cat sanctuary. Unfortantely, not one that I have had any communication with/near to me, or have been involved with.

Only a few days ago, th other neighbour asked her about the cat and she blatantly said that she knew we were looking out for/after him, and she was glad about that.

"Mistreated" - would depend on your definition. I have said abandoned and neglected; they probably come under the mistreatment umbrella.

And, sadly and embarassingly, the deck chairs DID happen (cross my heart). I would NEVER make up something like that (or anything really). There is a drive into the apartments between her apartment (the other woman lived above, and after she turned on me, she became chummy with her downstairs neghbour) and my friend's. He parks his car next to the "patio" and patio door of his apartment.

As I have said, the cat woman confirmed for me after the other one had moved out. It was arranged that they would sit in the chairs - with them angled at where he parks his car (so at right angles to her own patio door) specifically at the time we would come back, around 9pm. It stopped when the other woman left, and cat woman said she thought it was a weird and stupid thing to do, but she went along with it while they had a smoke together. It is too crazy to be made up - but then, you do seem to wa to think badly of me, which you are fee to do. You are wrong though.

@catsanctuary

Thinking about this overnight, I just want to say that I - given what you profess to be/do - am surprised that you do not have more sympathy for the cat/s in this situation.

Nothing about this is made up, unfortunately - and a couple of the local rescues HAVE advised that we try to keep him from being taken - by whatever means..... so whatever "correct channels" may exist, don't apply here; maybe in your world.

My friend and I do have "hobbies" - they, and being observant of the world close by and further afield, are not mutually exclusive. Your saying to get hobbies is only one step from "Get a Life".

Good luck with your cat rescue.

Jesus is anyone reading the OP and the updates from the OP since?
All I can see is a cat owner who has neglected her cats and neighbours who have together provided food, health and sanctuary to the one cat that is able to have freedom to move about.
Its breaks my heart that there is another cat sat inside crying for hours on end. How is any of this acceptable?
OP, I think you are doing the right thing in asking/paying for the cat and I hope the owner has some sense and will allow someone else to take the responsibility from her - one which she never cared to take for herself mind.

@BunsofAnarchy

Thank you

and a couple of the local rescues HAVE advised that we try to keep him from being taken - by whatever means

But earlier in the thread when I suggested you speak to a sanctuary you said you didn't think they would do anything. So which is it? They advised you that, or you haven't spoken to one?

You are a bare faced liar.

Stop trying to steal cats and get your own for God's sake.

@catsanctuary

Jesus is anyone reading the OP and the updates from the OP since?

Yes and she is lying.

Are you feline ok? 🤣 You can't call someone a bare faced liar 😮🤥 Meh I'd lock the cat in and go out for the day.

I can't believe people are suggesting stealing a cat. Just go out and get your own. It's not yours!

Meh I'd lock the cat in and go out for the day.

Same here.

There are at least two other neighbours who adore our cats, and clearly would bite our hands off if we wanted to give them up. Thing is, we love them too.

I appreciate that your circumstances suggest that the cats have been neglected, but more generally some cats just like to have multiple addresses. Our boy cat definitely checks who is going to offer the best snacks each day and I would love it if the other neighbours would stop feeding him. "Oh no we'd never feed him - only Dreamies and cat milk." Right.

However as I say, it sounds very different to your situation.

@catsanctuary

and a couple of the local rescues HAVE advised that we try to keep him from being taken - by whatever means

But earlier in the thread when I suggested you speak to a sanctuary you said you didn't think they would do anything. So which is it? They advised you that, or you haven't spoken to one?

You are a bare faced liar.

Stop trying to steal cats and get your own for God's sake.

@catsnactuary I spoke to three [ two specific cats, and one larger - all animals with a cattery - that I actually worked for years ago, but with horses and people, not the cats....] before I posted this morning.

The only differenece between me and a "cat sanctuary/rescue"/what they might do, is that I am an individual who has prevented a cat from dying.

When I worked for my local (bigger) rescue centre, we did simply go and take back dogs that had been adopted by useless people; it is how I ended up with my Golden Retriever.

If I intended to actually steal this cat (and remember I said we are offering to give her money - ergo; not stealing), I would have done so when it became apparent that all he was getting was the odd visit when she felt like it. We have continued to respect the fact the he is NOT OUR CAT, whilst not simply standing by and letting him be NEGLECTED.

I have no need to steal a cat. You are just being horrible now.