Page 3 | Asking her to leave the cat with us....

LoveMyPiano · 2022-02-20T10:55:11+00:00

My next door but one neighbour is about to finally move out, after about 5 months virtually living with boyfriend, but coming to and fro the apartment (I am in a house next door to the little block). She has/had two cats. A black one, probably less than a year old, that has been left in the apartment mostly all of the time; and an older one who has always roamed the complex and back road and who has been in my house a lot, comes onto the garden (catches rodents but not birds strangely) and has virtually adopted my friend who also lives in the apartments. It seemed that he was effectively left behind and we have cared for him with all kinds of food (he became very underweight and scruffy at first but now his coat is like silk [maybe we should all eat cat food!], he has a mix of some dried and some wet, and has really improved since we added the pouch food. He is nicely looked after by us jointly - and now allowed to stay in overnight (previously, not - and mainly his choice - he is very nocturnal). He waits for my friend to come home, and he also seems to know when I will go round but sometimes totally indfferent and stays in one of his many beds/spots. For example, last night, I had my Saturday pizza with the plate resting (lightly) on his head. He will not get off my lap until I tip him off.... Please suggest any way I persuade her to leave him with us. She and I are not especially friendly (due to anothe nasty neighbour - now gone- influence) but I have never said a nasty thing to or about her or her little boy, and she knows what the cat has been doing. But now, her actual move out is imminent, and I have heard (from another neighbour) that she plans to take him...... He was not happy in her home before, as he seems to like quiet, and she has a big boisterous dog and a (I think) 6 year old - and of course the other cat..... I would not criticise any of this - but I really want to plead with her to leave him with us, where he is doing so well, and is such a help to my need to look after something. [sad] [sad] He keeps his opinion to himself when I play the piano..... but that eye speaks volumes [smile]

Original poster

LoveMyPiano · 20/02/2022 17:21

@Woahthehorsey

No way would I do this. We had a cat who was loved by our neighbors, and he loved them. But we loved him too and he loved us. We were happy for them to let him in their house and to feed him but it was in no way needed or wanted by us. If they'd have suggested keeping him when we moved I'd had been furious. He was our cat, we'd cared for him, paid vet bills and loved him, we didn't ask them to let him in or feed him. And I'd hate the insinuation that we weren't looking after him.

It would be all well and good if that had happened for him - but he has had no care for months, the house is vrtually unoccupied, food merely thrown out on the ground. He may be "wanted" by the owner - but I see 0 sign of it, regardlss of what we have done. In fact, he probably would have died.

OP posts:

Floralnomad · 20/02/2022 17:24

I’d just keep him in for a few days and see if she knocks to ask if you’ve seen him or puts up posters , or take him to the local cats home as a stray on the basis that you will have him back if no owner comes forward .

CoastalWave · 20/02/2022 17:26

I can't believe I'm actually saying this...but based on what you've said I'd just keep him in until she moves!

She hasn't even bothered to get him chipped. That shows how little she cares about him. I'd even be tempted to take him to the vet TO get him chipped - to you.

Some people just shouldn't own pets.

sunshinesupermum · 20/02/2022 17:32

What Floralnomad said.

Original poster

LoveMyPiano · 20/02/2022 17:46

The more I think about it, the more I do actually think it is a bit of nerve to say that she "plans to [just] take him".

But she may well do it just to be spiteful (to me), even though she has no axe to grind with my friend (apart from connection to me.....); he is supposed to be catching her to speak to her today, and I have heard nothing yet, which is a bad sign . On a day like today, weather-wise, she would have to come to the door to actually ASK for him, as he will be in one of his 4 beds out of the weather.

OP posts:

catsanctuary · 20/02/2022 17:57

The more I think about it, the more I do actually think it is a bit of nerve to say that she "plans to [just] take him".

I do sympathise, however I don't see why she has a nerve to take her own cat with her when she moves house?

Ludo19 · 20/02/2022 18:05

Oh OP reading the response can you at least ask for advice from the RSPCA regarding the wee black one? Honestly as a mum of cats I'm so upset knowing how lonely and uncared for that wee soul will be. The other one who has adopted you is lucky because he has you......can you try and talk to her? Offer her money for the two of them even?

IHeartKingThistle · 20/02/2022 18:05

Our neighbour tried to take our cat when we moved, to the point where she shut her in her house on moving day and we had to go and knock on the door and firmly tell her she was our cat. I'm sure she thought she had a better home for our cat too, because she was retired and we worked all day, but that's not how it works.

If an animal is being neglected, call the RSPCA. If your neighbour is happy for you to take it, great. It is very likely that the cat would be better off with you. But it's not your cat.

IHeartKingThistle · 20/02/2022 18:07

Don't mean to sound mean. We loved our cat and this one doesn't sound like it's well looked after. I would probably be trying to adopt him too. But you still can't just take him! As a Pp says, offer to buy him maybe?

Original poster

LoveMyPiano · 20/02/2022 18:07

@catsanctuary

The more I think about it, the more I do actually think it is a bit of nerve to say that she "plans to [just] take him".

I do sympathise, however I don't see why she has a nerve to take her own cat with her when she moves house?

Because she has virtually abandoned him for months....? (I do realise that that is an inflammatory thing that I have said, but I do think it.) (She has been living at boyfriend's - coming back to the flat only occasionally - hopefully once per day for the sake of the other cat left stuck inside. Time is up on the tenancy now I would imagine.)

OP posts:

HyacynthBucket · 20/02/2022 18:11

The cat's needs are more important than who owns it. So I would be keeping the cat in the house for several days from the move onwards, and if the owner finds out later the cat is with you, just say that it disappeared when she moved but turned up at yours afterwards, and you have had him chipped etc. (which will show he is yours then).

Original poster

LoveMyPiano · 20/02/2022 18:17

@HyacynthBucket

The cat's needs are more important than who owns it. So I would be keeping the cat in the house for several days from the move onwards, and if the owner finds out later the cat is with you, just say that it disappeared when she moved but turned up at yours afterwards, and you have had him chipped etc. (which will show he is yours then).

I do agree that the animals' needs are primary; if I thought he would get good care if taken in the move, I would hold my hands up and let him go - but the care, such as it was, before, was not the best and he certainly seemed unsettled most of the time - and never really looked/seemed well.

Because I know that the RSPCA sets the bar quite low in terms of what is acceptable, I had held off making a call for the younger cat - but had this arrangement gone on for much longer, I may have lodged it as an issue.

OP posts:

WonderfulYou · 20/02/2022 18:47

I would definitely just ask.

Just pop a note through the door with your number saying you’ve fallen in love with him and you’ve really enjoyed and will miss his company so if she ever needs to get rid of him to please keep you in mind.

She may not want to ever or she may take him with her and contact you in a few months time. Or she may be very happy to know that she can give him to a good home.

Mia184 · 20/02/2022 18:53

I fear if you ask her, it will not end well for the cat. I’d keep it in until she is gone.

Do you know where she is moving to? The cat may return to you.

Original poster

LoveMyPiano · 20/02/2022 18:59

@WonderfulYou

I would definitely just ask.

Just pop a note through the door with your number saying you’ve fallen in love with him and you’ve really enjoyed and will miss his company so if she ever needs to get rid of him to please keep you in mind.

She may not want to ever or she may take him with her and contact you in a few months time. Or she may be very happy to know that she can give him to a good home.

In addition to my friend asking, I have hand-made a card and am sending it with a note (trying to be succinct), pretty much what you suggest

I jusy worry that people can be contrary and bloody-minded can't they? And take him away just to stop me/us taking him on properly, when he has not had good care, and has probably become accustomed to a calmer environment than he will be going to....

OP posts:

Original poster

LoveMyPiano · 20/02/2022 19:00

@Mia184

I fear if you ask her, it will not end well for the cat. I’d keep it in until she is gone.

Do you know where she is moving to? The cat may return to you.

That's what I fear as well.

It is not far away, but I don't know precisely where, and there is a busy road between

OP posts:

catsanctuary · 20/02/2022 19:12

I still don't see why she has a nerve to take the cat that belongs to her with her though.

The advice to steal the cat from so many posters is absurd. Chipping it in your name? That's fraudulent. How do you know her movements? How do you know her feelings towards the cat? Is your stance coloured by the fact you don't get on with her?

Yes it might seem abandoned to you but in reality it's probably just taking advantage of extra meals and being spoilt. Cats do that.

If you're so sure she doesn't give a shit about the cats then why the reticence in just asking her?

I do sympathise as I have been in a similar situation myself but ultimately, you can't take a cat that doesn't belong to you without the owners consent. Have a conversation with her and then you will know the answer.

HeckyPeck · 20/02/2022 19:21

I would keep the cat. It sounds like she wants to move by stealth so probably won't knock on your door anyway. If she did I'd say I'd keep an eye out for him.

She hasn't been feeding him or getting him vet treatment and basically abandoned him.

He will have a much better life with you.

Original poster

LoveMyPiano · 20/02/2022 19:25

@catsanctuary

I still don't see why she has a nerve to take the cat that belongs to her with her though.

The advice to steal the cat from so many posters is absurd. Chipping it in your name? That's fraudulent. How do you know her movements? How do you know her feelings towards the cat? Is your stance coloured by the fact you don't get on with her?

Yes it might seem abandoned to you but in reality it's probably just taking advantage of extra meals and being spoilt. Cats do that.

If you're so sure she doesn't give a shit about the cats then why the reticence in just asking her?

I do sympathise as I have been in a similar situation myself but ultimately, you can't take a cat that doesn't belong to you without the owners consent. Have a conversation with her and then you will know the answer.

I don't know her anyone has got it from that I am intending to steal or chip or conceal the cat. I am NOT!

I unfortunately (or between my friend and I) DO know her movements. The food we have given him is not extra - but has kept him alive. We ended up giving him more becuase he wasn't getting any elsewhere - and because purely dried food is not reommended, as I am sure you know.

Everything else aside, I don't like her - and never have (she shouts and wears at her SN child, let alone her animals) , although she WAS turned agains me by another resident who after beng friendly and needing help when she first came, did a U-turn and turned everyone else she could, against me. The two women would put out deckchairs at 9pm at night to sit and stare at my friend and I when we came back in his car after doing the horses. It was like something out one of those odd hillbilly films. (The cat lady has told me that they did do it on purpose at the other woman's instigation - who is in her 50's by the way; cat woman is younger....)

Only needed a banjo.

OP posts:

catsanctuary · 20/02/2022 19:42

It's the other posters suggesting that you steal and chip the cat that are bonkers, I know you haven't said that but what exactly is your intention? Your options are keep it in, speak to her or let it go.

If you and your neighbour know her exact movements 24/7 then you both need to get hobbies.

I don't see any evidence of the cat being mistreated other than it roaming (as cats do) and dry food being put out. The cat presumably does go home to be fed or she wouldn't be taking it with her.

You admit the cat has chosen this lifestyle with much input from yourself and your neighbour. Which to me translates as you have fed it and spoiled it and surprise surprise it comes back for more. That doesn't mean the cat is neglected at home it means it knows it's on to a good thing.

Please consider adopting a cat from a rescue as you would clearly give it a lovely home but this cat isn't yours.

Original poster

LoveMyPiano · 20/02/2022 20:08

@catsanctuary

It's the other posters suggesting that you steal and chip the cat that are bonkers, I know you haven't said that but what exactly is your intention? Your options are keep it in, speak to her or let it go.

If you and your neighbour know her exact movements 24/7 then you both need to get hobbies.

I don't see any evidence of the cat being mistreated other than it roaming (as cats do) and dry food being put out. The cat presumably does go home to be fed or she wouldn't be taking it with her.

You admit the cat has chosen this lifestyle with much input from yourself and your neighbour. Which to me translates as you have fed it and spoiled it and surprise surprise it comes back for more. That doesn't mean the cat is neglected at home it means it knows it's on to a good thing.

Please consider adopting a cat from a rescue as you would clearly give it a lovely home but this cat isn't yours.

OK

OP posts:

HeckyPeck · 20/02/2022 20:20

@catsanctuary

It's the other posters suggesting that you steal and chip the cat that are bonkers, I know you haven't said that but what exactly is your intention? Your options are keep it in, speak to her or let it go.

If you and your neighbour know her exact movements 24/7 then you both need to get hobbies.

I don't see any evidence of the cat being mistreated other than it roaming (as cats do) and dry food being put out. The cat presumably does go home to be fed or she wouldn't be taking it with her.

You admit the cat has chosen this lifestyle with much input from yourself and your neighbour. Which to me translates as you have fed it and spoiled it and surprise surprise it comes back for more. That doesn't mean the cat is neglected at home it means it knows it's on to a good thing.

Please consider adopting a cat from a rescue as you would clearly give it a lovely home but this cat isn't yours.

OP has said the cat was very underweight and she had to take it to the vet for flea treatment and worming.

Allowing your pet to become underweight and not treating them for fleas/worms is 100% neglect.

If the owner wasn't neglecting the cat I wouldn't advise OP to keep it, but from the cat's POV it is definitely better if it stays with OP.

catsanctuary · 20/02/2022 20:33

OP has said the cat was very underweight and she had to take it to the vet for flea treatment and worming.

No she didn't. She said it was 'run down'.

The vet gave it flea and worm treatment when there. Standard for a vet visit.

There is nothing to suggest the cat was ridden with fleas or underweight. What if the owner also gave it these treatments and the poor cat ended up double dosed?

If the vet had known the cat didn't belong to the OP he wouldn't have given the treatments.

OP dislikes the owner and is embellishing the truth to justify stealing her cat.

HeckyPeck · 20/02/2022 20:43

@catsanctuary

OP has said the cat was very underweight and she had to take it to the vet for flea treatment and worming.

No she didn't. She said it was 'run down'.

The vet gave it flea and worm treatment when there. Standard for a vet visit.

There is nothing to suggest the cat was ridden with fleas or underweight. What if the owner also gave it these treatments and the poor cat ended up double dosed?

If the vet had known the cat didn't belong to the OP he wouldn't have given the treatments.

OP dislikes the owner and is embellishing the truth to justify stealing her cat.

In the OP it says "he became very underweight"

Also vets don't give flea and wormer to cats that don't belong to you unless there is evidence of fleas/worms. If the owner was doing them regularly, it would be bad for the cat to have too much.

OP has said she isn't going to keep the cat without the owner's permission.

catsanctuary · 20/02/2022 20:50

Also vets don't give flea and wormer to cats that don't belong to you

Exactly. Which suggests the vet didn't know the cat didn't belong to her.

If the OP has such concerns about the cat she should contact the RSPCA, or a cat sanctuary would advise. She should do things properly through the correct channels not feed and house a random cat and decide it's hers.