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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay £480 to fix dd's friend's phone

580 replies

FarangGirl · 19/02/2022 14:17

Dd (14 yo) was with her friends and accidentally hit a friend in the arm. He had his phone in his hand and dropped it. Apparently it will cost £480 to repair!!! His parents want us to pay this. I think this is ridiculous. First, friend dropped the phoen, it wasn't like dd was using it. Second. If you're going to give your kid a stupidly expensive phoen, you should insure it and have a bullet proof cover.
Aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
FarangGirl · 21/02/2022 00:52

Didn't seem relevant at the time so converted price to gbp rather than local currency but we do live abroad (and actually phone was bought in the UK so abroad for us!)

Actually the friend is being an arsehole to dd. First off he wanted to contact us as his initial plan was for us to transfer all the money to HIS bank account so he could get it fixed without involving his parents. I was working so dh was dealing with it. Dh said that thats not happening and he needs to speak to friend's parents. Hence phone call from mother.

Friend is now getting all arsey with dd. Saying he wants the money to fix the phone she broke..poor dd is upset and this is supposedly a good friend.Hmm Luckily none of their friends think she should pay. And indeed dd herself is a bit 'i wouldn't do this to him' and is now getting a bit militant about paying anything (as I feed her tidbits from this thread!!!)

OP posts:
MistySkiesAfterRain · 21/02/2022 01:17

No, if you have an expensive phone and don't have a screen protector then you are an idiot and will smash the screen sooner or later anyway.

I bought a new phone and on day 4 took it to the national trust, while taking a photo it slipped out my hand and landed face down cover open , and smashed.

Did I complain to the national trust for having rough gravel? No.

Did I wait 18 months with a cracked screen until the price went down enough to afford a repair at the phone shop? Yes.

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/02/2022 04:36

@FarangGirl

Didn't seem relevant at the time so converted price to gbp rather than local currency but we do live abroad (and actually phone was bought in the UK so abroad for us!)

Actually the friend is being an arsehole to dd. First off he wanted to contact us as his initial plan was for us to transfer all the money to HIS bank account so he could get it fixed without involving his parents. I was working so dh was dealing with it. Dh said that thats not happening and he needs to speak to friend's parents. Hence phone call from mother.

Friend is now getting all arsey with dd. Saying he wants the money to fix the phone she broke..poor dd is upset and this is supposedly a good friend.Hmm Luckily none of their friends think she should pay. And indeed dd herself is a bit 'i wouldn't do this to him' and is now getting a bit militant about paying anything (as I feed her tidbits from this thread!!!)

So it comes down to

"shit my mum is going to kill me because I didnt have the case on, I can fix this by bullying [your DD]"

"Oh shit, that didnt work.....so I will tell my mother a very different version of events so she will get the money and wont give me a bollocking"

"Oh shit, even that didnt work......back to bullying so that [your DD] will feel so bad that she will persuade her parents to pay"

He is only a "good friend" when it suits him. I pity any person he ends up in a LTR with as he will turn out to be the abusive arsehole they didnt know that they had married until it is waaaay too late.

Blackbird2020 · 21/02/2022 06:08

First you tell us this 14 year old has a new iPhone 12…. Now you tell us that the same 14 year old has the cheek to call up the parents (you said the 2 families don’t socialise) to demand they transfer nearly £500 to his bank account. His bank account. He’s 14 for f’s sake.

Are you part of an expat community? I’ve seen families like this more often in those circles, for some reason.

That child is very likely going to grow up to be quite an unpleasant and entitled adult. You and your DD should be glad to be rid of him.

Blackbird2020 · 21/02/2022 06:09

Sorry, EDIT: unknown parents

Rustylee681 · 21/02/2022 06:11

Totally agree, let's face it if your going to give a teen an expensive phone like that anyway you should insure it for all unexpected events.
I wouldn't pay a penny, if they want the money tell them to take it to court £480 for a, repair, not even a couple of quotes.
He definately trying it on and no way is he a friend.
Totally drop him and if he continues to go on have him done for bullying and harassment!!

WindyKnickers · 21/02/2022 06:17

Absolutely no way would I be paying a penny. If there was any inkling that DD had grabbed/snatched the phone or borrowed it and broke it or was doing something she shouldn't have then I would pay a reasonable amount towards repairs - not £480 or even half that. But your updates suggest this kid is a chancer and is trying to get one over on you so your DD is well rid.

Original poster
FarangGirl · 21/02/2022 06:35

@Blackbird2020

Sorry, EDIT: unknown parents
@Blackbird2020

Yes, we're expats. But friend is not - his mum is local and dad is foreign - but goes to international school with my DD.

OP posts:
Billben · 21/02/2022 06:45

@Itsalmostanaccessory

Well, she shouldn't be waving her arms around. That is silly.

Pay half.

Only on Mumsnet😂😂😂
DoubleTweenQueen · 21/02/2022 06:57

Sounds like the boy is upset he broke his expensive phone and doesn't want to own up to parents. He probably has tried to blame your DD.
Poor kids :(

Original poster
FarangGirl · 21/02/2022 07:14

@DoubleTweenQueen

Sounds like the boy is upset he broke his expensive phone and doesn't want to own up to parents. He probably has tried to blame your DD. Poor kids :(
It's not quite that bad. They all agree that DD accidentally knocked his arm. But he is totally blaming her and taking zero responsibility
OP posts:
MeaCuppa · 21/02/2022 07:43

@Blackbird2020

First you tell us this 14 year old has a new iPhone 12…. Now you tell us that the same 14 year old has the cheek to call up the parents (you said the 2 families don’t socialise) to demand they transfer nearly £500 to his bank account. His bank account. He’s 14 for f’s sake.

Are you part of an expat community? I’ve seen families like this more often in those circles, for some reason.

That child is very likely going to grow up to be quite an unpleasant and entitled adult. You and your DD should be glad to be rid of him.

I dunno. If he was going to be entitled he wouldn’t be such a chancer, would he? He’d just buy a new phone from his bank account, expecting his parents to pay for it and not risk losing a friendship over this. Buying a new phone wouldn’t be a big deal - it’s weird that you think he’s entitled when he’s essentially trying to con someone out of money at 14! He must be doing this because he doesn’t have unlimited funds, right?
Original poster
FarangGirl · 21/02/2022 07:53

DD said he always has plenty of money in his bank account. But then, on reflecting, she said that he doesn't always pay his way and is happy for others to pay for him. I agree that he doesn't sound very nice but he's in dd's friend group so she's really going to have to sort this one out with him.

OP posts:
threatmatrix · 21/02/2022 08:04

I would pay for some of it, but I would want proof of the amount.

Blackbird2020 · 21/02/2022 08:17

@FarangGirl Things always seemed one level more weirder in expat school communities, from my experience. Cultural differences, grudges held against short-term expats from the more permanent ‘local’ foreign born parents, gripes from local native parents against foreign born parents… the list is endless.. and against this backdrop is often a lot of wealth…

I kind of understand your situation a bit better now, especially re the 14 year old / iPhone / bank account. International schools are a different community compared to the local U.K. comp down the road. Not knowing which country you’re in makes it difficult to know if there is some cultural issue at stake for you when it comes to sorting out this awkward situation!

Original poster
FarangGirl · 21/02/2022 08:31

@Blackbird2020

We're in Thailand 🇹🇭

OP posts:
Blackbird2020 · 21/02/2022 08:40

Sorry OP, I’ve got no experience with the Thai expat community. I still think you’re doing the right thing by not paying, for what it’s worth!

LookItsMeAgain · 21/02/2022 08:45

@FarangGirl

According to the mum, its not under warranty because it was bought abroad.
Apple is a multinational corporation. Ask to see the quote for repair. Ask to see two other quotes for repair and take it from there.

I know a brand new iPhone 12 64Gb handset costs about €799, so no I wouldn't be paying £480 to repair it.
The model/serial number of the handset should be covered for repair if it's a new handset.

I would consider saying to her "It was an accident and accidents happen. Why wasn't there a screen protector on the handset if it was such an expensive model of phone? Why wasn't it in an Otterbox (or other suitable heavy-duty) phone cover? If there was no screen protector on the handset and it wasn't in a phone cover, then I'm not willing to entertain paying anything towards the repair as you and your son were more to blame for the damage. It could have happened at any stage."
If they press you on this, I'd give them £100 and say that's as much as I'm willing to give.

Bertiebiscuit · 21/02/2022 09:00

Not your problem, totally unreasonable - she didn't do it on purpose, she wasn't doing anything unusual by the sound of it, I don't see how this is your responsibility, plus, that's a ridiculous amount of money - they are taking the p*ss

mumoftinyterrors · 21/02/2022 09:02

Going to assume this is an iPhone 13 pro and it's the cost Apple Store want to charge to repair the screen damage. Tell them to get the screen repaired in an independent store and you will cover the cost, which will be a much more reasonable £100 odd.

The kid should have a heavy duty case on the phone going forward.

Itsalmostanaccessory · 21/02/2022 09:06

I really cant believe this.

It doesnt matter if it wasnt on purpose.

It doesnt matter if you think she was behaving reasonably.

She still managed to hit him. She caused his phone to break.

Do people just no longer take their share if responsibility? Thus is ridiculous. It doesnt matter if I was an accident. It is still her fault.

@FarangGirl
You want to blame the boy for not having a case, fine. But you also need to blame your daughter for knocking into him. It doesnt matter if it was an accident. It is still her fault.

Stop being such a snowflake who cant take any responsibility and pay half. You're saying youd have paid if it was cheaper so you need to pay even though it's is expensive. It cant be her fault if it was cheaper but not her fault because it is expensive. Pay half.

PrincessNutella · 21/02/2022 09:06

Stupid parents have a stupid story. If they took it to an Apple Store, why didn't they have Apple Care? I decimated a laptop and it cost far less than that to get fixed with Apple Care. There is something really fishy about their tale.

Original poster
FarangGirl · 21/02/2022 09:17

@Itsalmostanaccessory

I really cant believe this.

It doesnt matter if it wasnt on purpose.

It doesnt matter if you think she was behaving reasonably.

She still managed to hit him. She caused his phone to break.

Do people just no longer take their share if responsibility? Thus is ridiculous. It doesnt matter if I was an accident. It is still her fault.

@FarangGirl
You want to blame the boy for not having a case, fine. But you also need to blame your daughter for knocking into him. It doesnt matter if it was an accident. It is still her fault.

Stop being such a snowflake who cant take any responsibility and pay half. You're saying youd have paid if it was cheaper so you need to pay even though it's is expensive. It cant be her fault if it was cheaper but not her fault because it is expensive. Pay half.

And where is his responsibility for not holding it better? Or for walking with the phone is his hand and not safely in his pocket? And for not having it sufficiently protected? And for not having it sufficiently insured?

There is partial responsibility on DD's part - although it was an accident while she was behaving totally reasonably - so i'd maybe make a reasonable contribution (no more than 100 quid for sure). but I certainly am not paying stupid money to repair a phone when the repair itself costs more than my own phone ( as a professional working woman in her 40s). DD is not solely responsible here.

OP posts:
savethecactus · 21/02/2022 09:45

Ask to see the quote for repair. Ask to see two other quotes for repair and take it from there

Why? It's none of the OP's business how much the repair costs or who repairs it. The boy's parents bought him an expensive phone and didn't bother with insurance or an appropriate case/screen protector and either don't have or don't understand the warranty. They can't expect someone else to compensate them for their mistakes.

Ultimately we're all responsible for the stuff we choose to carry around. We all know that phones are at risk of getting damaged or stolen, and that younger people are more likely to experience this. This is why insurance and warranties exist, and why many teens have lower value phones.

The only good thing about the boy being arsey to the OP's dd is that hopefully she won't feel upset if the friendship ends because of this.

newname12345 · 21/02/2022 09:47

@mumoftinyterrors

Going to assume this is an iPhone 13 pro and it's the cost Apple Store want to charge to repair the screen damage. Tell them to get the screen repaired in an independent store and you will cover the cost, which will be a much more reasonable £100 odd.

The kid should have a heavy duty case on the phone going forward.

A screen for £100 will not be an original screen and will not performance as well. If you are paying yourself you may well accept that, but if it was someone else's fault and they are paying why should you accept that? Hence I wouldn't get into a conversation where you are accepting full blame by covering the whole cost.

Totally agree that the kid should have had a decent case and a glass protector. DS (11) has dropped his phone (not an £1000+ iphone, but not that cheap at £400) more times than I'd like to think in the year he has had it, but it still looks like new.