To think this is normal practise in most schools?

[Edenspirits]

My kids school have always used ‘grown ups’ rather than mum & dad so this isn’t actually unusual - the mail kicking off about it though (probably because its Brighton) in

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10527267/amp/Parent-fury-Brighton-primary-schools-tell-students-NOT-say-mum-dad.html

Ive used a mixture. When I've said 'wheres your grown up" I got blank looks so now I go mum/dad first. I didnt grow up with a mum and got questions about my mum very often and it did bother me. In the end I decided to solve it by saying she was dead (she isn't). . Then I went into care so there was no mum/dad!

I suppose 'your grown up' should be tried first and if not understood (e.g., if the child is too small) then try other options after.

Being told to “ask your grown up at home” takes me back to when I was at primary.

@Squishmael

My experience is that schools say "your parents or carers", or "your grown ups", or "your parents and grown ups". This has been for more than 12 years I've heard this and it's just responsive to blended/gay families really.

It’s not in response to gay or bended families. There have been children who have lived with people who aren’t their parents as long as there have been children. (And I acknowledge that there have been gay and blended families equally as long, but not recognised as much)

Wow where on earth do you live? Unless your school is tiny and in some sort of utopia I can't believe this is true.

I don't find it at all surprising. I live in a fairly rural area with lots of small primary schools, several of which I've worked in. It's not a Utopia . Of course there are sometimes children who don't have parents at home. But I don't think it's particularly unusual to have a class who all do have parents at home.

Totally normal to say 'your grown-ups' or 'your family' (we often get 'your family at home').

My daughter goes to a very tiny rural primary school, in a very non-diverse bit of Yorkshire, where there are about 40 families. The vast majority have a mum and a dad, but there are two single mums and there's my DD who has two mums. Honestly, if the teachers there can manage it, anyone can! Recently we got a Valentine's card addressed to 'my mummys' (and she's 4, so someone had to do some guiding to get her to write it).

This article is just trying to create a problem. I'm sure most schools are simply trying to be inclusive.

Since my DD started at childminders about 8 years ago and throughout different settings, the reference is to 'your grown up' which is absolutely all encompassing, for kids with different set ups, live with a step parent, a grand parent, foster care, other family member or whatever - why is it an issue?

I will never forget as in primary school being asked to write an invitation to parents evening. The wording was written on the board & it started something like “to my mum & dad…”

My dad had died 2 yrs previously….

I, at 8 yrs old, in front of the whole class, felt like I needed permission to deviate from the writing on the board & write “to my mum” as she was obviously the only one who could attend.

@Beees

All of our children live with their parents.

Wow where on earth do you live? Unless your school is tiny and in some sort of utopia I can't believe this is true. If it is some sort of utopia then genuinely what happens if some poor child starts and doesn't have their parents at home, would you other them?

All the kids at my DD's school (primary) live with their parents, and only 2 have separated parents so yes believe it or not it can be the norm!

At schools my children have been to - teachers use ‘your grown up’ to kids, letters are addressed to ‘dear parents and carers’
Works for me!

@Bellie710, even children who live with both parents may need inclusive language!

You adapt for your class, I know who is with parents, grandparents, carers etc and their backgrounds. I don’t say ‘carer’ I refer to the adults as the child does. If I am speaking to the whole class I adapt accordingly I don’t list everyone but I offer different variations within the class each time and they know what I mean.
As for who cards etc are written to, I don’t tell them they tell me and those that need help with scribing/spelling help to spell the words they have chosen.
It really isn’t rocket science, I imagine it is what most teachers do as they care about the children in their class and want to have good working relationships with those families for the child’s sake.

@Blossombouquet

I will never forget as in primary school being asked to write an invitation to parents evening. The wording was written on the board & it started something like “to my mum & dad…”

My dad had died 2 yrs previously….

I, at 8 yrs old, in front of the whole class, felt like I needed permission to deviate from the writing on the board & write “to my mum” as she was obviously the only one who could attend.

That is awful. I'm so sorry.

I’m not sure what my kids school uses in all honesty, but I don’t disagree with using the terms grown ups or people at home when addressing a whole class/school. It’s not just about being inclusive for the sake of more diverse family set ups (mum and step dad, dad and step mum, mum and mum, dad and dad), but also for the kids that don’t have mum or dad at home at all. The kids who have ”my nanny and grandad”, “Joe my foster carer” or “Jane my keyworker at the care home” as examples. I imagine teachers when talking to their students on a one to one basis would refer to the appropriate adult/s at home once their home situation is known, but certainly addressing a whole class/school, using more inclusive terms can only be a good thing.

"Parents and Carers" covers it neatly I think.

And even if all DCs do live with their parents, there may be occasions when someone else who is not a parent has charge of them or is relevant to receive the information. It could be a family member, an au pair, a nanny, a friend of the family, etc etc.

[quote SarahAndQuack]@Bellie710, even children who live with both parents may need inclusive language![/quote]
Beees was questioning Diablo2 saying all the children at her school live with their parents. I am not arguing about what you call people just confirming that it is possible for a school to have only children that live with their parents.

Also our school only talk about parents not grown ups, we have parents night not grown ups night.

(that was in response to who mentioned having all children with parents).

Beees was questioning Diablo2 saying all the children at her school live with their parents. I am not arguing about what you call people just confirming that it is possible for a school to have only children that live with their parents.
Also our school only talk about parents not grown ups, we have parents night not grown ups night.

But parents won't always be 'mum and dad' as the article states.

Grown ups is not specific enough.
Parents or guardians is more appropriate.

Letters home from school used to read "Dear Parents or Guardians" and spoke of "your child/ward".

I remember blue Peter saying " grown ups " years ago
I dont think it's a bad thing not every child lives with a parent

@Hellosunshiner

"Parents and Carers" covers it neatly I think.

Yes I totally agree with you.

Soft play when they were 3-4 yrs, then climbing club, trampoline club, pony riding, garden party with party entertainer.

Sorry posted under wrong thread

@SarahAndQuack

*Beees was questioning Diablo2 saying all the children at her school live with their parents. I am not arguing about what you call people just confirming that it is possible for a school to have only children that live with their parents. Also our school only talk about parents not grown ups, we have parents night not grown ups night.*

But parents won't always be 'mum and dad' as the article states.

No they wont but in our school they are! I have been involved with the school for the last 13 years and there has never been anyone other than parents that the children live with. I understand this may be very unusual but using anything other than Mum or Dad would be strange in our school. Also the teachers know the children so know exactly who to talk about at home.