To think this is normal practise in most schools?

[Edenspirits]

My kids school have always used ‘grown ups’ rather than mum & dad so this isn’t actually unusual - the mail kicking off about it though (probably because its Brighton) in

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10527267/amp/Parent-fury-Brighton-primary-schools-tell-students-NOT-say-mum-dad.html

@Diablo2

No, we use mum or dad or parents.

I've never worked in a primary school where referring to children's parents as 'grown ups' is a thing.

I’m guessing this is in the specific circumstance where you know a child in your class doesn’t have/live with their parents. You might then decide to say ‘grown ups’ in certain contexts, such as ‘it’s the school play this afternoon and your grownups are looking forward to seeing you all’.

[quote ladygracie]@Diablo2 What about the children who don’t live with their parents?
I always say grown ups unless I know for absolute certainty that every child has parents at home.[/quote]
All of our children live with their parents.

I say "whoever is at home" at secondary. Sometimes the authority at home is an older sibling so this catches all.

It’s always been “grown ups” at our school too. It’s so much easier

My children go to one of the school’s mentioned in this toxic bullshitty article. Of course they haven’t banned kids from saying mum and dad. They use grown up or parent/carer in an entirely normal way like most schools

@Diablo2 I think it’s way more unusual to have all kids in a class live with their parents than not to be honest these days and to not have a mix of situations

All of our children live with their parents.

Wow where on earth do you live? Unless your school is tiny and in some sort of utopia I can't believe this is true. If it is some sort of utopia then genuinely what happens if some poor child starts and doesn't have their parents at home, would you other them?

I've always been used to parents and guardians

@Hobbes8 yes exactly. Toxic bullshitty article it definitely is!

@Tunnocks34

I never really say mum or sad but this is because lots of my pupils are in care, live with grandparents, siblings etc

I generally say ‘whoever you live with’ although I teach secondary. I think of I can spare even one child pain, or embarrassment with such a simple language change, then why wouldn’t I?

This is what whoever wrote that article doesn't appreciate. Referring generally to mum or dad could cause a child real pain. I've taught classes before where a small child has had a parent die- saying something like 'give this letter to mummy and daddy' could be really upsetting to a grieving child, or a child in any number of difficult circumstances.

And yes, if there were any family set ups other than mum & dad / mum / dad, I expect we'd use a different approach. But we don't, so it's not normal practice in our school.

@Beees yes quite. Pity the poor kid that ends up in that class/school where they only have nuclear parent families and who deviates from that model.

@Soontobe60 in all my years of teaching (since 1998) they have never been called ‘Parents Evening’ or anything similar in any school I’ve worked at! The only people who call them that is the students!

Currently they’re ‘Consult meetings’ but in a previous school it was ‘Progress meeting’ or ‘Academic Tutorial’ My DD’s school calls it “Year ** Consultation”

@Beees

All of our children live with their parents.

Wow where on earth do you live? Unless your school is tiny and in some sort of utopia I can't believe this is true. If it is some sort of utopia then genuinely what happens if some poor child starts and doesn't have their parents at home, would you other them?

It's a half form entry school in rural Gloucestershire with 84 children. Feel free to not believe me - it doesn't make it untrue.

I think you're being a bit snarky with the 'othering' comment.

@Diablo2

And yes, if there were any family set ups other than mum & dad / mum / dad, I expect we'd use a different approach. But we don't, so it's not normal practice in our school.

But that would single that specific child out. Surely using grown ups would be much better than risking a child feeling less than their peers simply because they don't have 2 parents at home like all the other perfect children at their school?

Our school always says mums and dads.

@Edenspirits

I doubt the schools in question have ‘banned’ or ‘cancelled’ the words mum & dad- they just prefer the use of grown ups - it’s the mail getting it’s knickers in a twist over wokeness as per...

The equality policy of one of the schools specifically states that staff are not to use the terms mum or dad. It does refer to them as parents/caters throughout the policy and it’s whole website. www.stlukes.brighton-hove.sch.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/St-Lukes-Equality-Policy-April-2021.pdf

Sorry - carers

@Soontobe60 but I don’t see that as a problem. They are trying to be inclusive 🤷🏻‍♀️

But that would single that specific child out. Surely using grown ups would be much better than risking a child feeling less than their peers simply because they don't have 2 parents at home like all the other perfect children at their school?

What are you on about? You don't seriously think anybody would say 'Humphrey this is for your mum, Irene this is for your mum, and Hubert this is for your grown up'? I think you're looking to take offence.

I’m from Brighton and know people who have kids at 2 of these schools and they said they don’t care what the school say... they are there to teach not dictate your entire lives.

All of our children live with their parents

I know someone who is fostering children. They take the kids to school and no doubt attend parent's evening.

They aren't parents. They are in a parenting role though.

What are you on about? You don't seriously think anybody would say 'Humphrey this is for your mum, Irene this is for your mum, and Hubert this is for your grown up'? I think you're looking to take offence.

I've been teaching long enough to know that this is entirely possible. The point is every single staff member at your school currently uses mum and dad. If a child started then it's entirely feasible that they would revert to their default unintentionally causing the poor kid to feel otehred. Either that or they would try hard to make a conscious effort to get it right and again make it obvious the child was different to their classmates.

Not looking for offence at all but it just seems beyond nonsensical that such a simple change of language is not already implemented in every school.

@Rupertgrintismyguiltypleasure the schools aren’t trying to dictate anyone’s life. They are trying to make kids feel safe and included in school

Parents or carers.

It's not difficult.

Not all families are the families the Daily Mail like.

Some are LGBT parents. Some are adopted. Fostered. Living with other family members.

But the DM doesn't care. They just care for a good headline and sod anyone who's different.