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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect my partner to come home

100 replies

stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 14:14

Partner got train to work this morning it's an hour by train 45 minutes by car. All trains where due to be cancelled so I suggested he drive if he really had to go or try and work from home. I wasn't feeling well this week and have just been on the floor crawling in pain to the bathroom loosing loads of blood and then just passed out my wall lining In one lump. I have had this before in the past this pain is awful although I'm feeling slightly better but have been throwing up from the pain and shaking. I'm not lying on my bed not able to move and I know there is nothing that can be done and will just have to ride it out. He's now getting picked up by his dad and staying at his. Even if the trains do run again which it looks like they are. The hospital and doctors can't do anything I already have morphine myself so I just have to lay here until I feel better. I just wish he was coming home to I could have some help with being looked after as I can't really do that right now. He's suggested I go to my mums but that involves me packing a bag and I can't even leave my bed now

OP posts:

TheFlis12345 · 18/02/2022 14:29

What a selfish arsehole! Of course he should come home.

PolkaSpace · 18/02/2022 14:34

He should come home once the storm has died down enough

Chamomileteaplease · 18/02/2022 14:41

Yes, surely his dad should be dropping him home to look after you?!

Does his dad know how ill you are?

Sadly your partner sounds extremely selfish.

Original poster

stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 14:49

I'm just a little shocked at his behaviour as he always the first to look after me pick me up from work if not well so I don't have to get the bus home etc I don't think his dad knows as he would bring him home. I sent him earlier a link to some trains that are now running later and he said he's already got his dad coming out now so will just stay at his

OP posts:

EmpressCixi · 18/02/2022 14:53

Is no one concerned about the storm? I admit I went out at lunch to run a few errands and counted eight downed TREES by the road plus many many more branches and such scattered across the road. It may have been safe to go into work this morning, but I don’t think it’s safe in some parts of country to go out at this point.

I agree he shouldn’t have left you in the first place, but he might be taking his life in his hands if he tries to get back to you now.

NameGoesHere · 18/02/2022 15:14

Your do is selfish and he should go back to you.

ShirleyPhallus · 18/02/2022 15:16

I think it depends upon your relationship. In that situation, knowing I had all the painkillers and nothing could be done, I really wouldn’t have any issue with my partner being at a parents. It’s not like he is out at a strip club.

However, if you want / need looking after then it would be nice of him to come home. Have you asked him to come back?

Original poster

stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 15:18

I haven't asked him to come back out right but I've said I can't do anything I just didn't realise I would have to beg for my partner to come home. There are no trains untill 7 now

OP posts:

AlternativelyWired · 18/02/2022 15:32

Selfish bastard. My now exH was just like this. Got worse once we had kids. I hope you feel better soon. Hot water bottle, favourite films or box sets and just rest. Do you have dc?

Original poster

stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 15:34

Nope no children currently on the sofa eating my way through all the snacks

OP posts:

ShirleyPhallus · 18/02/2022 15:36

@stormynight1

I haven't asked him to come back out right but I've said I can't do anything I just didn't realise I would have to beg for my partner to come home. There are no trains untill 7 now

Then honestly I’d think this is a bit of a communication issue. If you want him home, ask him to come home. He probably doesn’t think it’s a big deal given you have had medical attention / have painkillers etc.

It will just eat away at you and you’ll be resentful unless you say something.

MrsTimRiggins · 18/02/2022 15:38

Mm. I’m a bit on the fence tbh. I’d probably not be toooo arsed about DH being around as there’d not be a lot for him to do, and certainly nothing he could do to help. It’s sometimes nice to have someone just to be sympathetic, I guess, and if he were there, I’m sure he’d be the one getting the snacks etc.
That being said, I would’ve directly said I wanted him to come home tho, if I did, rather than beating around the bush with hints.

Sirzy · 18/02/2022 15:38

Does his dad live a lot closer to where he works?

catscatscatseverywhere · 18/02/2022 15:44

I don't get it. I really thought he knew how unwell you are and refused to come home anyway. Turns out he doesn't quite realize and you didn't ask him for it too. You're bit U. Just txt him, instead of asking strangers on MN what they think of it.

itwasntaparty · 18/02/2022 15:51

Have you actually asked him to come home?

SmallPrawnEnergy · 18/02/2022 16:05

@stormynight1

Nope no children currently on the sofa eating my way through all the snacks

But it was so severe you couldn't leave your bed an hour before that? Sounds more like you want him rather than need him which is understandable.

Anyway, I think it's tricky as he could be worried by the storm but by 7pm the storm will have died down so I don't really understand why he can't come home. As others have said too you've not been to a doctor or anything so he may not realise how bad it is?

You say he's usually really good in situations like this, is there other unusual behaviour? It's quite odd he would insist on staying over, are you sure he's at his dads?

Original poster

stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 16:26

I've said on the phone I would like him to come home but he's said he can't but that was earlier and he said I would be ok and to just enjoy the house to myself

OP posts:

FairyCakeWings · 18/02/2022 16:29

If you’re eating you’ll be ok.

Is it because it would have meant asking his Dad to do a longer journey in the storm if he’d brought him home?

SartresSoul · 18/02/2022 16:33

Does his Dad live much closer to where he works or something? Just trying to understand why his Dad didn’t drop him off at home, doesn’t make sense unless it’s hugely out of his way.

THEDEACON · 18/02/2022 16:34

You have no children you have pain relief and you are in the sofa munching -why do you need dp home

Revengenda · 18/02/2022 16:41

It sounds like you want him rather than need him home.

I don't personally get it as I'd rather just be left alone if I felt like this but that's me.

Crunchymum · 18/02/2022 16:45

What is wrong with you? As in what is making you bleed and causing so much pain?

Original poster

stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 16:50

Endometriosis is causing all of this so I've been told I'm munching on pombears as that's all I've managed and thrown it all up. Yes I've got pain relief but it's not working his dad lives in between us and his work. But there is a train her can get this evening as some are running

OP posts:

WhatEvenHappened44 · 18/02/2022 16:57

Have you had treatment for your endometriosis? Unfortunately it's usually a massive fight but if you're persistent and don't stop and get under the right care then they can usually help some of the symptoms with surgery.
Hope you're feeling better soon OP

Original poster

stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 17:21

I have 3 surgeries I'm on lots of meds seen 3 private doctors and just been given some new meds to try

OP posts:

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