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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my partner to come home

100 replies

stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 14:14

Partner got train to work this morning it's an hour by train 45 minutes by car. All trains where due to be cancelled so I suggested he drive if he really had to go or try and work from home. I wasn't feeling well this week and have just been on the floor crawling in pain to the bathroom loosing loads of blood and then just passed out my wall lining In one lump. I have had this before in the past this pain is awful although I'm feeling slightly better but have been throwing up from the pain and shaking. I'm not lying on my bed not able to move and I know there is nothing that can be done and will just have to ride it out. He's now getting picked up by his dad and staying at his. Even if the trains do run again which it looks like they are. The hospital and doctors can't do anything I already have morphine myself so I just have to lay here until I feel better. I just wish he was coming home to I could have some help with being looked after as I can't really do that right now. He's suggested I go to my mums but that involves me packing a bag and I can't even leave my bed now

OP posts:
Original poster
stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 21:09

He's at his dads no trains tomorrow either so his dads dropping him back tomorrow morning no idea why he couldn't of come back tonight at 5 with his dad

OP posts:
FirstTimeSecondTime · 18/02/2022 21:23

Is he the father of your children?

FirstTimeSecondTime · 18/02/2022 21:25

Sorry just realised no children

AprilShowers82 · 18/02/2022 21:29

Sorry but you’re being unreasonable and a bit dramatic. Your OP makes your sound like you’re dying. Endometriosis is horrible but honestly what’s he going to do if he’s there?! Confused no kids to look after, you’re on the sofa munching your way through food so you’re obviously not ill enough to need him there in any practical sense. You haven’t even told him you want him to come home fgs. He’s not a mind reader. In your position I’d load up on painkillers and go to bed.

Original poster
stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 22:07

He rang earlier and I said I would prefer him home as I’m unwell I then become more much worse and text him to say how much worse it had become. I’ve lost loads of blood and my whole wall lining I’m being sick constantly can’t keep food down and the morphine hasn’t helped with the pain I’m struggling to stand. the last time this happened I called 111 they sent an ambulance who took my vitals and said all they could do was take me to a and e for morphine which I already have. He’s said his dad is taking him home about 20 minutes from us trains are cancelled all weekend and his dad is dropping him off tomorrow morning. If it was me in his position and my partner couldn’t stand was constantly being sick in tons of pain and bleeding severely I would be doing my upmost to come and help them. I’ve crawled to the sofa today with a towel and my spare pee protector pad as I’ve got blood all over my bed and pulled the sheets off to stop it soaking the mattress and I don’t have the energy to change the bottom sheet. I think I’ve got an old picnic fleece that I can just lay on the bed later instead of a fitted sheet so I can sleep. Without getting the step out to reach the top of the airing cupboard

OP posts:
Stressedout1009 · 18/02/2022 22:18

@AprilShowers82

Sorry but you’re being unreasonable and a bit dramatic. Your OP makes your sound like you’re dying. Endometriosis is horrible but honestly what’s he going to do if he’s there?! Confused no kids to look after, you’re on the sofa munching your way through food so you’re obviously not ill enough to need him there in any practical sense. You haven’t even told him you want him to come home fgs. He’s not a mind reader. In your position I’d load up on painkillers and go to bed.
I agree with this. Wouldn't it be safer for him and his dad to not be travelling. You have all you need and there's nothing he can do.
Original poster
stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 22:26

Where we are there are same weather conditions today and tomorrow morning all I’ve managed is some crisps and have thrown those up because I can’t stand long enough to cook anything. He could come and try and cook me some toast or plane pasta change my bedsheet so I can sleep properly empty my sick bucket as I’ve struggled too and tipped most of it around the loo and not in it

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 18/02/2022 22:31

The weather is horrific and dangerous, I wouldn't want anyone I love or even dislike being out just now.

LottyD32 · 18/02/2022 22:33

@stormynight1

I haven't asked him to come back out right but I've said I can't do anything I just didn't realise I would have to beg for my partner to come home. There are no trains untill 7 now
YABVU.
MichelleScarn · 18/02/2022 22:36

@stormynight1

Where we are there are same weather conditions today and tomorrow morning all I’ve managed is some crisps and have thrown those up because I can’t stand long enough to cook anything. He could come and try and cook me some toast or plane pasta change my bedsheet so I can sleep properly empty my sick bucket as I’ve struggled too and tipped most of it around the loo and not in it
That's a lot of tasks for him.
Original poster
stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 22:46

It’s not really a lot of tasks for someone you love and live with

OP posts:
BulletTrain · 18/02/2022 22:46

Also on the fence. How close is your mum?

Suzi9989 · 18/02/2022 22:51

Don't get distracted just keep her close. What did people do before tag's? Teach your child to stay close

MichelleScarn · 18/02/2022 22:53

How are you toileting? Are you able to make it back and forth? I don't understand how you've managed to spill vomit all around the loo rather than in it? If you are THAT bad what can he do?

Scbchl · 18/02/2022 23:00

Is this a monthly occurrence?

Original poster
stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 23:01

Well I had to empty the bucket and struggled to lift it up over the loo it just tipped out and ended up half in the loo and half on the seat and floor. I wiped the seat with tissue as I had too pee but couldn’t manage the rest. I’ve been shuffling and sitting half way for a rest break earlier I crawled back as I was so weak. My mums 20 mins away and has no power so I wouldn’t be able to use my plug in heat pack for my tummy pain

OP posts:
Original poster
stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 23:02

@Scbchl it’s monthly in terms of pain but never like this I might be sick just once a month take some codine have a cry spend an afternoon sleep with my heat pack and tens machine. This has happened before but not recently

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 18/02/2022 23:04

My mums 20 mins away and has no power so I wouldn’t be able to use my plug in heat pack for my tummy pain

Well bonus, your mum can come round to you and have heat and power!

Original poster
stormynight1 · 18/02/2022 23:09

It would mean her leaving my step dad who’s recovering from bad surgery last week I’m not trying to drip feed sorry if it seems that way

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 18/02/2022 23:10

Is he safe and well in a house with no power?

PerditaPerdita · 18/02/2022 23:13

Call him now and tell him to bloody come home right now

Imdonna · 18/02/2022 23:13

This makes no sense.

You haven't told him that you need him home. And there's nothing he can do.

But also you are having to crawl round your home, have bled on the sheets but can't change them to sleep in, legt sick on the bathroom floor because you can't clean it.

You are on the sofa muching your way through 'all the snacks', but actually only eaten some crisps which you can't keep down.

There's a lot of contradictions op. I suspect he has no idea what you need or what's really going on.

thaegumathteth · 18/02/2022 23:13

I know you want him there but honestly I think yabu, sorry.

The storm is pretty bad and surely you want him and his dad to be safe?

I'm on crutches and I know how hard simple tasks can be especially when you're in pain too but you just have to muddle along sometimes.

Branleuse · 18/02/2022 23:16

I think either go to hospital or go to bed. Theres no reason he needs to come back in this weather

mandajmo · 18/02/2022 23:17

If I'm honest. I'd maximise the opportunity to dose myself up with pain relief and go to bed and try to sleep x