Do most Teenagers do drugs?

[Oslosunshine]

DD is 17. She was at a party last night and I got a call from her as it got shut down by the police. One of the girls at the party was taken to hospital in an ambulance after an overdose. Today I had a chat with the mum of the boy who’s party it was and she was, to be expected, incredibly frustrated as she had to fly back to deal with the fallout. Thankfully the police were only really fussed about the noise after the neighbours complained and nothing is being taken further.

However, this prompted me to speak to my DD about why drugs should be avoided and about being sensible etc. DD got very defensive and told me that everyone does drugs, ‘MDMA is safer than alcohol’ and lots more to that extent.

I was incredibly shocked- I know DD smokes (both cigarettes and weed) and whilst I would prefer her to stop, she’s 17 and like most of my peers, I did the same at her age. However, I knew absolutely nothing of the hard drugs and how common they are with her friends.

DH is also worried but sees it as an almost given. He went to a similar school in London to hers and was in a similar ‘scene’ when he was younger and confirms that it is very much the norm.

Mum of the party boy agreed that coke, ketamine, MDMA are all very normalised with their peers and thinks the best course of action is to educate them on dosages, rather than pleading with them to stop.

I feel so naive; I feel as if I have failed my daughter by bringing her up in this privileged inner city London environment where most of the DC have the money for these expensive drugs. But DH thinks it’s not our fault and that this happens everywhere. It certainly didn’t happen on this scale when I was growing up in a less privileged, more suburban area.

Is this normal for teenagers everywhere/ was I just incredibly sheltered growing up?

Anyone saying their know their kids didnt/don’t do drugs and swear on it can’t necessarily be sure. My father would swear blind I haven’t but he’d be wrong.

I also wouldn’t clarify myself as a teenager who “did” drugs. I have tried a few things as a teen and at uni, on the off that they were offered to me, never planning to take any or seek them out and never did.

From what I see and hear from my younger sisters (in their teens early 20s now) it’s much more common place to know someone who smokes weed and or “does” drugs. They are around, and available if you wanted them. More acceptable and in some cases more so than booze.

To say the majority do drugs IMO isn’t true but having drugs around 1 whether that be a casual hang out or in a club scene - as commonly accepted and visible as booze, absolutely.

I think it totally depends on social circles. At my secondary school/sixth form I knew the odd person who used more than weed and alcohol but they were few and far between. At our house parties around 17-18 there was lots of booze, a few weed-smokers and nothing else. I had never even seen MDMA or coke or anything else like that at that age.

But at uni (still aged 18) I met groups of friends where mdma, coke, ket, etc. were totally normal at every party.

So I think the slightly cop-out answer is simply that it's very normal for some teenagers and not at all for others. And most teenagers don't have much experience outside their own social circle, so of course they think that what's normal for them is normal for the whole wide world.

Sure, educate them on dosages. Drug dealers are such pillars of the community that they take care to label their product with exact dosages and its always a standard formulation.No Way would they adulterate their product with anything (drain cleaner, rat poison, sweepings off the floor)to make it go further and them more money. Just like none of the charming people would ever spike a person's drink . Not to mention , how many more pictures do we need to see of happy, vivacious teenagers next to one of that same person on life support ? Are you happy to take that chance with your daughter or son ? Sorry, you don't need to be the cool parent who tolerates this kind of behaviour you need to be the sort who wants their child alive to fulfill their potential

I have two 20 yo DS. For them some alcohol I'd normal but not drugs. One tried MDMA but hasn't done it since a year ago when he tried. I don't think it's normal, and having asked them they don't think it's normal either.

I didnt take drugs as a teen and neither did most of my friendship group, apart from weed being passed around once or twice. Same for DH. I just wasn't interested. Some people on this thread would have you believe that all teens do drugs and all parents are just naive if they think their kids don't experiment. But I definitely didn't, and nor do lots of others.

Not a majority I think, but speaking to my kids who are now out of their teens, I am surprised how much drug taking (MDMA, speed and weed), went on in a relatively small town I live in. My sister is a psychiatrist and notes that there is a very significant link between the use of strong cannabis (skunk) when under 16 and mental health issues in early adulthood and beyond. It is something we should all discourage.

That way if there is anything dodgy in it she will be safer

So you think the actual drug is safe? It’s just “if there’s something dodgy in it”?

Newsflash. It is the drugs themselves that are harmful.

Also the trafficking and criminality behind drugs is appalling. Especially weed. The harm there is massive.

Drugs are not harmless. People die, and not only the people taking it.

Agree with everyone saying it depends on social circles. I grew up in London and from about age 15-19 all those things were normal and just part of an average weekend.

Got a real shock when I felt i’d grown out of it all by around age 20, and realized most of my uni peers were discovering this stuff for the first time! To be honest I was probably one of the most disciplined uni students there as that whole party scene felt so old

@tkwal

Sure, educate them on dosages. Drug dealers are such pillars of the community that they take care to label their product with exact dosages and its always a standard formulation.No Way would they adulterate their product with anything (drain cleaner, rat poison, sweepings off the floor)to make it go further and them more money. Just like none of the charming people would ever spike a person's drink . Not to mention , how many more pictures do we need to see of happy, vivacious teenagers next to one of that same person on life support ? Are you happy to take that chance with your daughter or son ? Sorry, you don't need to be the cool parent who tolerates this kind of behaviour you need to be the sort who wants their child alive to fulfill their potential

But this is like thinking that saying to younger / underage teenagers “don’t have sex, you’ll get pregnant or get an STI and your life will be ruined” is going to prevent them from having sex. We know it doesn’t stop teenagers having sex. So instead, we talk to them about contraception and safer sex, about consent, about the social and emotional aspects of a sexual relationship and so on. So that if they do decide to have sex, they can make educated choices about it and keep themselves safer - not because we’re “cool parents” who don’t care about our teenagers fulfilling their potential.

'I work with teens most do drugs. And most drugs are safer than alcohol'

No, they don't. Some do, many do not.

Drugs are not safer than alcohol as you just cannot know what you are consuming. The tone of this thread that most do it so educate them is madness. How on earth do you educate them? 'Oh well you may just get a euphoric feeling or you may have a fit and die'.

The best education is to change their friendship group and mix with the many, many teens that don't do drugs.

@Mandofan

I would also take it with a pinch of salt when people say their kids never did drugs. They have no way of knowing for sure. It can be easy to hide if you’re doing it on a night out and return home the next day. It’s unlikely they’ll tell their parents about it

I have a funny story from years ago. We (as a family), were very friendly with a couple who had two children whom I will call 'Sarah' and 'James' (not their real names). Sarah was the eldest and James was less than two years younger.

The parents always said they were so pleased their children did not do drugs or mix with those who did, they didn't even smoke, so they had no worries on that score.

Sarah had an eighteenth birthday party at home to which we were invited. It was a lovely party with lots of people on a hot evening so many went out in the back garden.

I wandered out into the back garden and found my son, then aged 14, standing outside the shed with glass of beer. I asked him what he was doing standing there on his own. He said to me, "James and his cousin and a couple of friends are smoking joint (he did say 'joint' not 'joints'), and I'm keeping guard in case any parents come along". I just said, "Oh", and moved on.

Later, inside, James came to me and said, "Can you help my mum? She's had too much to drink and has fallen off the toilet".
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Not all youngsters do drugs but some do experiment. Mine smoked a bit of pot as a teenager and drank beer but he grew up fine. When I was a teenager I knew loads of people who took drugs. Apart from smoking some cannabis, once when I was seventeen, which made me vomit, I didn't. When I was in my twenties I smoked a bit more but never did anything harder.

Haha @Bromse that doesn’t surprise me. My friends mum swears her daughter is an Angel. Said daughter overdid it when trying magic mushrooms for the first time and had a meltdown in Amsterdam. She was warned to take it easy but thought she could handle it. Had to learn her lesson the hard way unfortunately

Drug use in today's teenagers is much more normalised than it was even just 10 years ago.

I've spoken to young teachers in their twenties who tell shocking stories - ecstasy parties in year 8, year 10s selling coke etc. They all agree it didn't happen in their day and they say it's often even the really good kids you wouldn't expect.

I also know a hairdresser who has said the same, and heard kids on public transport talking about taking acid at festivals. Again - these aren't the kids you'd expect.

When I was at school, nobody did drugs and if they did, they were always the "troubled" kids. It was only when people went to university that some people dabbled.

But you say in your OP that your 17 yo smokes weed. There's absolutely no way I would have let my parents know if I was smoking weed. And if they found out, they'd bloody well not be ok with it.

My dad was a police officer, very open about what goes on and what a lot of us don't see.
Open about what drugs were what etc.
Yes I drank some alcohol when I was 15 (which he knew about) but weighing up the risks etc i didn't experiment with drugs.
My husband smoked some weed a couple of times and that was it really.
Reading this thread as a nurse has me feeling sick to my stomach for my daughters future. I've seen so many times what has gone wrong when people have took drugs from teens to older people. They think they have taken one thing... Turns out to be something else, dosages have been wrong, god knows what has been put into pills and also addiction.
I hope I can educate my daughter like that hat my dad done for me!

But this is like thinking that saying to younger / underage teenagers “don’t have sex, you’ll get pregnant or get an STI and your life will be ruined” is going to prevent them from having sex

Bad analogy. Safe sex protects you from pregnancy and sti’s, but even if it doesn’t it can be dealt with. Highly unlikely you’ll end up in ITU on life support after sex, safe or otherwise.

You cannot take illegal drugs safely. You can take all the precautions in the world, but there’s still nothing to stop you ending up dead.

DD (now 20) was ill as a teenager and as a result had to go to school off her head on morphine and other drugs. As a result, she was never interested in illegal drugs, been there, done that. 6th form was about 1/2 didn't, 1/4 did weed and smoking and the last 1/4 did everything including ketamine and coke.

At uni now and she reckons it's still about the same although most have had at least one or two goes at weed.

Really interesting to read this - I had what sounds like a similar schooling/upbringing to your DH/DD and this was definitely my experience.

Most of my peers had ££ to spend and drugs were generally on offer at house parties from about 14 upwards - usually whatever weirdly named thing was popular with young people at the time (~10-15 years ago). We often didn't know exactly what we were taking which I think would worry me more with my own DC than the drug taking itself, if that makes sense.

Things like ket/coke came on the scene at about 18, but I was at uni by then and agree with PP that I was aware of my limits and mostly over the whole scene at a younger age than some more sheltered peers who discovered these things for the first time at uni.

Anecdotally, the only person I knew who ODed was from a small village and hadn't had much experience - she ended up in hospital twice after taking MD until her mum told her to cut it out

DD got very defensive and told me that everyone does drugs, ‘MDMA is safer than alcohol’ and lots more to that extent.

People don’t generally get taken to hospital in an ambulance after a few drinks.

@gogohm

Not my experience with my DD's, dd1 actually reported people in her sixth form and the police raided the lockers, multiple kids got thrown out. They are both anti (illegal) drugs. Dd2 competes semi professionally at sport and has random drug tests.

This is appalling, I would be ashamed of my child did this. What on earth was the point of it?

I think drugs are more popular than alcohol with teenagers these days. My ds has cannabis every Saturday with a mate but he knows not to bring it home or let things escalate. He is nearly 17.

I think in more expensive neighbourhoods (not ours) there is a lot more pocket money given and in turn even more drugs. A parent told me once she would never send her to the more upmarket secondary school as there would be too much drug use. I was shocked at the time but now realise she was right.....

The thing about the MDMA is safer than alcohol comments...one MDMA pill can kill you, but to the best of my knowledge, one alcoholic drink can not. It's possible to moderate your use of alcohol so that you are not drinking dangerously, but while you can take certain precautions to reduce the risks, you can't eliminate them simply by limiting your intake.

My friend died after taking one pill. The only time she had ever taken drugs was the last time. Such a stupid fucking waste of a life, and yet people still pedal the myth that it isn't really dangerous.

@JudyGemstone
I’m with you. It seems completely malicious.

@CounsellorTroi
I know more people who’ve been taken to hospital and had their stomachs pumped due to alcohol than any drug related issues

@Nomoreusernames1244
Whether drugs can be taken safely or not, DC are still going to do them, so isn’t it better that they can be as safe as possible? For instance, I would much rather my DD take Md in a powder form than double dropping two pills.

@JudyGemstone This is appalling, I would be ashamed of my child did this. What on earth was the point of it?

There is no place for drugs in schools. What these CHILDREN chose to do off site is for their parents to deal with. It's totally unacceptable to take drugs into school. I would not be ashamed of my child for reporting this at all. I find your attitude shocking.

@AlexaShutUp
That is surely incredibly rare. You can also die by walking in front of a bus whilst sober or drunk, it doesn’t mean it’s a likely occurrence. Obviously, I would prefer my DD to not partake in any drug usage, but if she is going to, I want her to be as safe as possible.

There is something seriously wrong if you think it's fine for teenagers to bring drugs into school. Then criticise the reporter.