"I didn't want to read and run"

[saraclara]

Seriously, don't do this. What's the point? What does it even say to anyone? It adds nothing to what follows. How does it help the OP, who is generally posting about something distressing?

The ridiculous thing is that almost always, people who start with this phrase then make a perfectly average length post below it, just like everyone else.

Aaaaargh. It infuriates me. AIBU? (hint: I'm not)

@eldora

But you can bump a thread just by saying 'I'm so sorry you're going through this'.

Oh for fuck's sake, who made you thread police? You're not good natured, you're controlling.

Agree with this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that phrase. Over analysing entirely innocuous phases has a detrimental effect on people's willingness to communicate. It is damaging.

I always read it as a positive thing- I see your post, I see you are upset, I don't know how to fix it but want to say something encouraging.

I don't usually post things like this, but if I did it wouldn't be to place-mark, you can do that by watching a thread.

@Pleasebeafleabite

It shows empathy and bumps the thread

Sometimes empathy is underrated compared to the crap advice on here

Exactly

@sadpapercourtesan

I don't mind it, though I've never actually posted it.

To me, it just says that the poster doesn't necessarily think they have much to offer in terms of constructive, informed advice, but want to offer a hand-hold/acknowledgement/a bit of compassion to the OP while they wait for said advice to arrive.

I think it's quite nice, tbh. Doesn't annoy me.

Yes, it certainly can mean this -- often when there have been no replies, so the poster commenting is bumping the thread, so it doesn't fall off the front page, and offering some sympathy even if they have no useful advice or information.

If it appears on page seven of a thread, then it's placemarking.

It is damaging.

Not really. Nobody is saying you should read and run. It's nice to put a message of support, by why add the read and run part? Shows disinterest.

Just leave a nice message and go. It's like saying 'you can come to my party because Zoe cancelled', unnecessary!

Aka
“Can’t be arsed to give this much thought, but here’s a few words on what I think having quickly scanned your OP”

@saraclara

Yes.

The phrase is all about the person who's replying. Which is the opposite of empathy. It's saying 'please like me because I'm going to this effort for you even though I'm busy'

I disagree - I think it means "this is clearly painful to you. I'm not able to do a long helpful post but I want you to feel heard and acknowledged"

Seeing someone clearly distressed when you're on your lunch break or about to go to bed/collect the kids/etc, lots of people don't want them to feel ignored.

I don't think I've said it myself but I don't mind seeing it at all.

And yes, it does give ther thread a bump.

It’s just showing that someone has read it and empathises, even if they don’t have any good advice. Nothing wrong with it, specially if the OP has had no responses and sounds quite desperate.

Bump

I prefer it to 'sorry you're going through this'.

It acknowledges the person's problem, the format of the discussion and the fact that a non-comment doesn't have much substantive value but is intended to bump the thread and show empathy.

These generally tend to be seen more at the start of the thread when it might not look like many people have commented/ are going to comment.

I think that without acknowledging the lack of advice contained by such a comment, the threads would easily fill up with simple expressions of sympathy but no guidance which is not usually what posters really want (although it is better than the thread disappearing).

@Pleasebeafleabite

It shows empathy and bumps the thread

Sometimes empathy is underrated compared to the crap advice on here

This

It is damaging. It encourages people to feel insecure about their writing style.

@Pleasebeafleabite

It shows empathy and bumps the thread

Sometimes empathy is underrated compared to the crap advice on here

Exactly. It’s an expression of empathy and a way of saying that they have seen the post and they care… they may not feel they have anything helpful to say but hopefully it bumps the thread so others will see it and add further support.

I quite often skim read and stroll.

Sorry.

I don't like the way this vote is going. Where's the empathy for ME, I'd like to know.

@melj1213

As a PP said it comes from forums where there are view counts on threads so people don't want to just read and not leave any feedback.

Also sometimes I will read a thread and have advice/relevent experience but I don't have time to post right there and then but don't want to lose track of the thread/forget so I will post to effectively say "This is my placeholder comment - I will be back with something more indepth when I get chance but for now know that people have read and are sympathetic to your situation"

@melj1213 But that's exactly what Watch this thread is for. So you don't need to take up a post just to follow a thread. You just click on Watch this thread , which is at the top, and at the bottom, of every thread. There is no need to post just to follow a thread.

@saraclara

I don't like the way this vote is going. Where's the empathy for ME, I'd like to know.

OP, I vote YANBU. It is a pet peeve of mine on this site and it really annoys me. It is self indulgent, and no one gives a shit who is reading/not reading.

I think I normally see it at about 3am when people are doing the nightfeed or there is insomniacs around, who might not be capable of doing a thoughtful and constructive post, but know that in a few hours there is going to be someone along who can and so it bumps up, because come 7am its at the bottom of the pile, while all the my neighbour is parking in my front graden for the 15th time and I dont want them to but I havent actually said anything to them posts go to the top

@saraclara

I don't like the way this vote is going. Where's the empathy for ME, I'd like to know.

Didn't want to read and run, OP, but I feel for you at this difficult time.

@saraclara

I don't like the way this vote is going. Where's the empathy for ME, I'd like to know.

Handhold.

(🤮😂)

It’s a bit annoying, but I think it mostly comes from a good place. It’s certainly better than people posting ‘You really didn’t need to start a thread about this, OP’. Press the back button and move on with your life!

It is self indulgent

All humour aside, I genuinely see it this way. It's a phrase that is entirely unnecessary when there are other phrases that can express empathy and helplessness. The only thing it does that the others don't, is bring attention to the poster, whose 'being nice even though I'm really busy'.

They almost always follow it with a perfectly empathetic few sentences that would have been every bit as effective without the 'look at me' intro.

aaargh. Who's.

@SpiderVersed and @TottersBlankly - added to the right side of the spreadsheet.

I think you've missed the point. It's not about time. They're not really 'running' anywhere

It's about acknowledging you're not going to give advice but just want to send a message of support and bump the thread in the hope someone who can give advice will come along.

It doesn't bother me. In fact, controversial opinion, I quite like it.