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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How can you tell is someone is faking wealth?

279 replies

Teadrinker11 · 16/02/2022 16:35

When the hell is someone genuinely wealthy rather than just trying to be all flash but when in truth there's no real money behind the facade?

OP posts:
Giraffesandbottoms · 16/02/2022 19:50

Being professionally successful/clever doesn’t automatically equate to caring about your car or clothes or other such “status” symbols

Or having style/taste 😆

pateu · 16/02/2022 19:51

@Giraffesandbottoms I wouldn't count 60k plus cars as normal tbh.

shinynewapple22 · 16/02/2022 19:52

This thread is hilarious Grin

pateu · 16/02/2022 19:52

Apple watches are much nicer looking than Garmin plus if you already have apple products easier to keep it in the family.

supermoonrising · 16/02/2022 19:53

The Beckhams dont seem shy at the obvious nature of their wealth. Footballers like Cristiano Ronaldo and his Girlfriend appear to reveal in wearing their wealth on their sleeves. The Kardashians hit you between the eyes with theirs

I’d wager the vast majority of self made rich people become rich in their 30s or later. OR they were born into it. Premier League Footballers, film stars etc are in no way typical.

Giraffesandbottoms · 16/02/2022 19:54

@pateu

My own skewed perception!

Giraffesandbottoms · 16/02/2022 19:54

I have been motivated to watch “inventing Anna” by this thread though!

ScrambledSmegs · 16/02/2022 19:57

At university (obviously many years ago) I discovered shortly before graduating that someone I'd known vaguely for most of the time I was there as a nice, ordinary person was actually a prince and his family owned a rather wealthy group of islands, amongst other things.

Obviously I couldn't tell then, and I couldn't tell you now either.

supermoonrising · 16/02/2022 19:57

@pateu
They probably just bought the houses when they were cheap like my parents

Exactly, there are probably a million+ people in the UK who have properties worth £500k+ - but aren’t really all that wealthy at all and are watching their outgoings nearly as much as those renting or owners of modest properties. (Obviously they’d be rolling in spare cash if they downgraded - but they dont want to).

glittereyelash · 16/02/2022 19:57

I know a few extremely wealthy people. They all live in beautiful houses but are very low key in what they wear and how they present themselves. I find the ones who brag are more in the well off bracket people who have money but not as much as they would like you to think.

MadameHeisenberg · 16/02/2022 19:58

I never understand the sneering at the nouveau riche. I have far, far more respect for people who have made their own wealth rather than those who did fuck all other than be born. How is that something to admire? Literally the exact opposite, in fact.

pateu · 16/02/2022 19:58

@MadameHeisenberg It's bizarre!

ScrambledSmegs · 16/02/2022 19:59

Obviously I couldn't tell then, and I couldn't tell you now either

For clarification, I mean I am absolutely terrible at spotting signs of genuine wealth.

GalactatingGoddess · 16/02/2022 20:05

Watch Tinder Swindler and Inventing Anna - they both created an illusion of wealth

Giraffesandbottoms · 16/02/2022 20:10

Also I would like to add that “old money” can be just as arseholey and silly and keen to show off as “new money”. I know someone who is “old money” who sent a helicopter to get the bottle of wine they wanted from their house and back in time to the place they were eating lunch.

MissAmbrosia · 16/02/2022 20:19

I know some seriously well off people. They do not go on about it or brag about houses, cars or purchases. There are certain MNers who always go on about how much money they have, what labels they buy, what cars they have, dropping it into threads where it's not even relevant. It screams insecurity to me, so I am automatically suspicious that they are probably mortgaged to the hilt/in debt etc.

CourtRand · 16/02/2022 20:30

You can't. If they're dressed all designer or cheap they could still be rich. They could have an accent or not, they could know quality things or not. They could know the price of things or not.

I find the rich tend to have good, blow dried hair and quality jewellery but again not guaranteed.

LolaSmiles · 16/02/2022 20:30

I never understand the sneering at the nouveau riche. I have far, far more respect for people who have made their own wealth rather than those who did fuck all other than be born. How is that something to admire? Literally the exact opposite, in fact.
I know people who have made their own money, are very wealthy and wouldn't dream of the brash, in your face, look at all my labels and monograms shit that some seem to think conveys status and wealth.

Being amused by the weird need some people have to make sure everyone thinks they're loaded doesn't mean you admire aristocrats and inherited wealth. It means you think it's fairly silly when people try to create the look-at-me-i-own-designers image, whilst harping on about money.

lborgia · 16/02/2022 20:34

In theory I could be surrounded by people who are faking it, using the criteria set out by pps on this thread.

I live in an area where the cars are ridiculous. Wall to wall (or road to road) Porsche, Mercedes, BMW, with a lot of Aston Martins, Ferraris, and similar too.

I know a lot of these cars are part of salary packaging, but many aren't.

The point at which I reached peak bafflement was seeing a Bentley outside the butchers with L plates.

All the 18 year olds at my son's school have their own cars to drive to school, and one has a lotus. It's extraordinary.

I still haven't worked out where all this money comes from.

We are very well off, but still no where near this stuff, women wear new season clothes all the time, I have good stuff, but years old, I truly don't understand all the disposable income. DH has an old banger because it spends a lot of time getting muddy, and also he really loves it (and doesn't care about cars). I drive a very middle of the road 7 year old SUV that could do with a good wash.

There are a couple of people who I know have this whole facade, but they're one bad deal away from everything going back in a truck to the shop. TBH, it would be difficult to tell the difference if I didn't know their circumstances myself.

The whole dog hair/ faded gentry thing really was a passing stage.

When people in big houses stopped being able to afford the grandeur of their stately pile, they would rather keep going in the clothes they already had, and pretend it didn't matter that they no longer had staff.

They didn't see the dog hair and dust because they'd never had to deal with it and with no one else to clean it up, it just sort of stayed.

It was a passing generation or three. Now there is either old money that kept going, and always maintained standards, or there's money that didn't ever come with a title and land.

There no reason they should be discreet or quiet about it all.

LadyEloise1 · 16/02/2022 20:39

I watched "The Millionairess and Me" on Channel 4 last night.
She appeared very wealthy ( had married and divorced a very wealthy man ) and was quite flashy too.
Beautiful home, holidays, designer bags and clothes, extremely expensive car, multiple staff......
Why anyone would want to flaunt their wealth on tv is beyond me...... I just think of that awful robbery of one of the Ecclestone girl's home.
Also robberies of star footballers homes while they are away playing a match and their wives/partners and children are terrorised or the gassing of wealthy people as they sleep, on the continent, to rob them.

PearPickingPorky · 16/02/2022 22:37

What amount of money/income does everyone think makes someone "wealthy"?

nancynoname · 16/02/2022 22:41

@MadameHeisenberg

I never understand the sneering at the nouveau riche. I have far, far more respect for people who have made their own wealth rather than those who did fuck all other than be born. How is that something to admire? Literally the exact opposite, in fact.
I agree!

If I'm in a room with two millionaires, I'm going to respect for the one who earned it themselves through hard work, but certainly won't respect the one who inherited it due to an accident of birth due to luck from a long a dead ancestor.

DoctorManhattan · 16/02/2022 23:14

Many years ago, when I worked in a bar, I served a glass of wine to a 40 something lady seated at the bar. She was friendly enough if a little gossipy and seemingly well to do. We had a conversation and during the course of it, she remarked on the ‘older man with the dirty jeans sweeping the floor out in the front part of the bar’, and how it must be a slog at his stage of life sweeping floors just to earn a crust. I smiled and told her not to feel too sorry for him, he owned the bar amongst other businesses and properties and was worth over £7m - but wasn’t scared at all of getting his hands dirty.

By contrast, I have an acquaintance who drives a £70k BMW, always has flashy clothes and shoes, constantly posts on instagram from the best restaurants, expensive wine, nice watches, all the usual cliches. Even on a night or weekend away he doesn’t stay with the rest of us in a normal hotel but books into something fancy and 5 star. With all this in mind I’m sure it’s a bit disappointing to the many ladies he courts when he never invites them back to his . . . . he still lives with his parents. He’s on a very average wage but tries to project the lifestyle of a millionaire by avoiding paying for a roof over his head.

SpaghettiArmsMurderer · 16/02/2022 23:21

@Giraffesandbottoms

honestly people on MN have no idea whatsoever. Some of the stuff people are coming out with show a total lack of knowledge in this area, sorry! Also there is a very bizarre thing on MN about PCP cars when in actual fact a PCP car makes the most fiscal sense due to the depreciation value of a car, and is essentially like having a mortgage on something you own; not the same as leasing.

People saying no designer stuff is just 🤦🏻‍♀️ It’s just designers like Loro Piana without labels. But certainly designer handbags. And private planes.

You don’t own a car on PCP, it is much more like renting than a mortgage. You only own it once you pay the balloon payment. And it’s usually a worse financial decision than paying in cash because of the interest.
PaperTulip · 16/02/2022 23:29

@Giraffesandbottoms

Also I would like to add that “old money” can be just as arseholey and silly and keen to show off as “new money”. I know someone who is “old money” who sent a helicopter to get the bottle of wine they wanted from their house and back in time to the place they were eating lunch.
This is true! Someone rightly mentioned that MN seems obsessed with the idea that real rich people don't show wealth but a huge number of them do, and certainly love to flaunt it. It's simply a question of choice. Having money gives you the OPTION of showing off or not showing off. I'd say the vast majority do it selectively. Eg they will drive an expensive car but buy high street clothing or shop at Aldi. Or stay in the penthouse suite of 5star hotel but wander around in pyjamas, that kind of thing.

A few more things I left off my list:

  1. They don't know how to ski
    A bit geographically dependant but assuming this thread is talking about faking wealth in a predominantly white society in the northern hemisphere (UK, Europe, United States, Canada etc)

  2. They don't know how to dance
    Obviously not Tiktok dances but the classics like waltz, foxtrot, chachacha etc. Dance schools are accessible to almost anyone and basic knowledge of how to waltz is expected at many society events.

  3. They always carry business cards and eagerly give out their number
    Fake rich people are usually desperate to hustle and are always keen to collect names and contacts. Real wealthy people tend to be guarded as they are wary of people wanting stuff from them all the time.

  4. There are no press articles about them
    Wealth above a certain level means you cannot remain anonymous or insignificant to society and ergo the media. It's easy to check up on names (family names if old money), jobs, companies or individuals.

  5. They seem to lack a bit of general knowledge about everyday things like cooking, cars, high end brands, vacation spots, hotels, etc
    Some smaller giveaways are when someone has never heard of a slightly obscure brand, location or event that a genuinely rich person will be aware of. Or they don't partake in discussions that require in depth knowledge about experiences (hotels, cars, etc).

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